Finding God again

My first thread, so please be gentle

I was not raised a Christian.

My first real experience of Church was when I went along to a Church Christmas 'party'.
I was invited to the Christmas event as the Church was a client of the accounting firm I worked for at the time.

When I went self-employed, the Church (as well as other clients) came with me and became my client.
I kept going along to Church. Some will say I was sucked in while others would say it was 'meant to be'.

Well, long story short, I uncovered fraud, manipulation and deceit.
I left the church and advised them that they must find another accountant.
I was appalled at what I found being done by people who were highly regarded in Church circles, and what was going on behind the scenes.

This really damaged my perception of Church, as well as my faith.

I kind of want to leave this open ended rather than ask a specific question because I'm interested in what people think (I know I haven't given much by way of details) and what people's advice would be.

Thanks to the moderator for approving my first post

Hi Lostsoul,

Congrats on your first post.

Sorry to hear of your experience. Sadly these can happen in church or out of church. I can see how it has damaged your view of church and your faith and hurt you. Just remember your faith is in Jesus who will never fail you - even though humans will, whether in a church setting or not.

There's no easy answer. I would suggest if your open to that is to take it to God in prayer and find another church. Take your time in doing both. Hurt and betrayal by those you put your trust in can take time to get over. Just at present concentrate on your faith in Christ..get to know him more.

Nahum 1:7 – "The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him."

Hi Phil36,

Thanks for your wise words.

I've found it very difficult to concentrate on faith and put aside the peripheral issues such as Church because, as I alluded to on another thread, I have also been going through clinical depression over the past 2 years or so. Haven't been having a good time of it.

So questions such as "Is 'he' really there" have understandably been on my mind.

You went to Church, got into the habit of going to Church, but did you really ever find God?

That's what matters.
The fraud, the issues are not of God, it's choices men/women make because that's what their nature is about.

Hi Lostsoul,

Sorry to hear that clinical depression can be a debilitating illness. But your not alone, many Christians have suffered depression I can point you to the ones that I know . The first one is Charles Spurgeon whom now history call's the prince of preachers. The second is William Cowper he wrote the famous hymn 'oh for a closer walk with God'. When you feel the dark grey clouds surrounding you come to God in prayer and sing hymns of praise. Let me print the words of Cowpers beautiful hymn, remember this was a man who new depression.

1 O for a closer walk with God,
a calm and heav'nly frame,
a light to shine upon the road
that leads me to the Lamb!

2 Where is the blessedness I knew
when first I sought the Lord?
Where is the soul refreshing view
of Jesus and His Word?

3 What peaceful hours I then enjoyed!
How sweet their mem'ry still!
But they have left an aching void
the world can never fill.

4 Return, O holy Dove, return,
sweet messenger of rest;
I hate the sins that made Thee mourn,
and drove Thee from my breast.

5 The dearest idol I have known,
whate'er that idol be,
help me to tear it from Thy throne
and worship only Thee.

6 So shall my walk be close with God,
calm and serene my frame;
so purer light shall mark the road
that leads me to the Lamb.

I think the thread was submitted before I made any other posts, and was approved later, after having made posts on other threads

Do you think God approves of their actions? If not, it's a good start because you've disconnected the actions of men from God's character well.
If you're unsure about God's existence and/or who Jesus claims to say He is the best thing you can do is ask Him yourself to show you
That's what I did at least hehe

Great question: “Is he really there?” You can find out by acting upon what Jesus says at John 14:23: “If anyone loves me, he will obey my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and take up residence with him.”

When discovering fraud, I would expose it to the congregation if I was brave enough. But I probably won't be that bold.

I wasn't raised Christian either and have battled depression too.

It took me ten years after being saved to be baptized because I didn't trust church and pastors. I should say I didn't meet a pastor that I respected and thought for sure was a child of God and not just a poser

I had a lot of issues that God helped me grow and learn.

God will help you too. All you have to do is ask.

Looking back some of it was the church and some was me.

Don’t let sin in others drive you away from the One who knows no sin. Man cannot be trusted, but God is Faithful and no one who trusts Him will regret it.

Look to God. Man will always let you down, but God never will.

I'd like to take up the opportunity to respond to your post, @LostSoul. I am sorry and grieved to hear of your discoveries within the hierarchy of the church you attended; it shouldn't be like that. That being said, much as it distresses me to hear of it, it does not surprise me at all. I enjoyed what breno786au had to say in that we are to discern and disconnect man's actions from God's character.

If we read through the Bible, we discover a history of the church (or in OT terms, Israel) straying from the Lord - especially in favour of prosperity. What is happening to day is no "new" story, but one merely 'recycled' in a modern way. That kind of gives me hope in a weird way; it means that God is familiar with where we are at -- and, more importantly, has a plan up His sleeve to bring revival! Oh Lord, visit us once again and pour out your Spirit of Truth!

Quite honestly, I don't blame you for your experiences within the church to cause you do question the existence of God, but that excites me more than intimidates me because where there are questions, there must be answers. And may you discover the TRUTH. When we seek the Lord with all our hearts, the Word garuntees that we will find Him. (Jeremiah 29:13)
Allow your questioning to drive you on that quest. You won't find the answers amongst people. You will find those answers buried in the Word. And yes, the Bible feels like a "sealed book", but I have often found it is the very demonic resistance which blinds our eyes that also keeps us from opening the Word and reading; it feels like HARD WORK to begin with. But when we set our minds to it and ask the Holy Spirit to lead us, He knows how to wield that Sword and take us exactly to where we are meant to go. My prayer for you, LostSoul, is that the Lord would enlighten your eyes to see and discover the Truth.

There is one Scripture that keeps coming to mind for you as I write this. It comes from Hebrews 13:12-13,

Therefore Jesus also, that He might sancitfy the people with His own blood, suffered OUTSIDE the gate. Therefore let us go forth to Him, OUTISDE THE CAMP, bearing His reproach.

Even in the days of Jesus, there was the RELIGOUS ESTABLISHMENT vs the TRUTH (Christ Jesus). Sometimes, and more often than not, we have to leave the religious establishment to encounter Christ. But just as this verse above states, isn't it awesome that the very reason why Christ came was to sanctify and redeem those who got it wrong in the church?

But dear LostSoul, this is not about them. This is about you. That same Jesus wants to be found by you. In fact, He has His gaze upon you. That same Jesus was prepared to go out of His way because He NEEDED to go through Samaria (John 4:4) - He went out of His way to encounter a Samaritan woman who was seeking Him.

The question is not whether the "God" of the Church is real; I sometimes find that He has been substituted for an idol who blesses us with prosperity and condones sinful behavior on account of "grace". That God, I don't believe exists either.

But the God of Abraham, of Isaac and Jacob - that God I have encountered in my wilderness, and I am convinced He is real. Seek Him and you will find Him. And who knows, maybe the Lord has chosen you to be the one to bring the truth back to the Church?...