My Daughter won’t follow the Lord

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Jan 19, 2021
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#1
Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could get your advice on something? My youngest daughter Emily who is 23 won’t follow the Lord. She was of course raised a Christian but recently has turned away. I know I can’t force her to believe but I want her to achieve salvation! Has anyone faced anything similar?
 

Roughsoul1991

Senior Member
Sep 17, 2016
8,784
4,451
113
#2
Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could get your advice on something? My youngest daughter Emily who is 23 won’t follow the Lord. She was of course raised a Christian but recently has turned away. I know I can’t force her to believe but I want her to achieve salvation! Has anyone faced anything similar?
Proverbs 22:6
New King James Version

6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

If you trained her up then she may very well have the experience of a prodigal child. Keep praying for her and be a great example of living out your faith. God uses my time of walking away to lead me back home.
 
Jul 9, 2020
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#4
Try not to worry. I know it's easy to say and harder to do. But instead of worrying, maybe just focus on praying for her? Another thing would be that if she sees you living a good and joyful life, then maybe that will be more persuasive to her than anything else?
 
B

Blackpowderduelist

Guest
#5
All you can do now is pray.
 

DesertWanderer

Active member
Nov 17, 2019
366
201
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New Mexico, USA
#7
She was of course raised a Christian
Hey, BBB. Love the name you picked for your profile. Don't know what it means, but it makes me laugh.

As far as your post goes, I also laugh at some of the responses you got so far, especially with the emojies. After all, how absolutely shocking it is for somebody to be "raised as a Christian" to somehow stray from the faith. That poor Emily is being led by Satan and his entire army of minions, pulling her away from Christ. How absolutely HORRENDOUS!!

After all, you did what you were supposed to do for the first 18 years of her life:

1. Drag her to church every week, kicking and screaming
2. Sit for one hour during the "service," dutifully listening to some guy drone on about how horrible socialism is.
3. Forcibly separate Emily from you for yet another hour during the week by sticking her in with a bunch of kids she didn't like in a Sunday school class she hated doing even more boring arts and crafts than what they do in the public schools.
4. Teaching her that the sanctuary is for grown-ups only. After all, the pastor can't have unruly children running around when he's putting on his show. She might disrupt the whole YouTube videotaping!
5. Teaching her to pretend like everything is okay, even when it's not, at least while she's in church.
6. Showing her that, even though she has total freedom at school, she has none at the church. There is no choice but to join the goofy clique of pastors kids and other socially inept Hippocrates.

Now that she's an adult, Emily can finally break away from the hypocrisy of the institutional church. She, like most kids forced at gun-point by their parents, couldn't wait until she was 18 to break free from the insanity. Finally, she can heal from Churchianity.

But by far the most damage she has sustained is the lack of close discipleship training. We are taught in the bible that we are the sheep and the pastors are the shepherds.

She read that over and over again. But there was no one there for her at the church. Every time she had a spiritual problem or question, she was told, "we'll pray for," as the person was making a mad dash to their car after another awful sermon.

She probably still laments,

"Gosh, I thought I was supposed to be able to freely go to any elder with a spiritual problem. Boy, was I wrong! All I keep getting are these stupid prayer-request forms to fill out."

You have every right to be worried. All those years of spiritual neglect may be channeled elsewhere. She could easily try to seek healing using the world's idols. For example:

  • Online secular forums
  • Secular counseling
  • Feminist groups
  • Drugs/alcohol
  • Bad relationships
  • Attraction to money/ become a workaholic.
Those are only a few. The list is endless. The point is, our children often try to find other ways to deal with their emotional baggage other than going to church. They know that they will be kicked to the spiritual curb by most in the church hierarchy. If only the parents would start realizing it. also.

But all is not lost. She's not a prodigal at all. If she's like a lot of kids raised in the church, she has no idea who Jesus is.

Why? Because Jesus doesn't even like going to church! He's not there most of the time. He's in the hearts of His people, not some stupid building with nice parking lots and fancy sound stages.

He's definitely in your heart, so show her that. Let her know right off that she can have a relationship with Christ outside the four walls of the church. It's okay for you and for her.

In fact, I would encourage you to stop going, at least for a little while. She associates the church you made her attend for so many years as being bad for some reason. Let her know that it's not about religion, but the relationship to Father God.

You may have to start from scratch. In other words, you may want to witness to her just like you would another adult friend. Let her know what having Jesus as your Lord and Savior means to you on a personal level. Everyone has a salvation story. Tell her yours.

Follow up as the Spirit leads. If you are led to the sinner's prayer, let her pray it, even if she has in the past. Here are a few other follow-up ideas:

  • Next time she comes over for dinner, start with a communion service. You've seen it done a hundred times. Now it's your turn.
  • Let her know that instead of going to church this week your family will be staying at home, having some quiet bible study time, and eating good food together. Of course, she is invited; even if she brings that worthless boyfriend you hate.
  • If she invites you to some crazy liberal feminist whackjob Antifa-inspired college event, hold your nose and go, as long as it's not violent. Teach her what it is to keep an open mind. Besides, you might learn something about the other side, and maybe even have a witnessing opportunity.
I think your family will pull through this together. But please don't be passive. Although it is important for us to pray, God calls us to be His hands and feet. It's not the other way around. We can't just pray:

"Okay, God. You know my heart. Please fix this as soon as possible so everything can go back to normal and those ladies at church won't be asking where my daughter is anymore. Okay? Take it away, God!"

No, you need to play an active role, too.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. EPH 2:10
 

Tararose

Well-known member
Sep 30, 2020
753
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93
Uk
www.101christiansocialnetwork.com
#8
Not sure how the poster above gleaned all that information from your short request for advice or relational support. Have I missed a post someplace here?

Well anyway, you clearly recognise the importance of your daughter seeing her need for Christ herself. I can't say I have been in your shoes but I do know of family members who have walked away from Christ, some still seemingly fully denying the Lord in every way possible. I am not saying it is too late for them to return, I am just saying I can understand in a measure.

The advice to pray is of course paramount, and to show love regardless of her choice. If she hasn't open eyes to see, as we say, then no amount of pressure or nagging (not saying you are doing that) will help.
The poster above mentioned showing your daughter that christianity is not about church attendance, I don't know how you live out your faith but it never hurts to have a little more personal time with our children and definitely finding a natural opportunity - not forced -to share your own personal testimony in a calm and relevant way is also great advice - if you haven't done so already of course.

My heart goes out to you, I really hope that in time she will be led by the kindness of God to salvation, or to return to Christ if she is now a backslider (after believing and actively following Christ at one stage).

Please keep us updated, and I am sure others as well as myself will be praying for you and her through this battle. A battle that isn't against your daughter I hasten to add :) but one that can be won yet :) Never give up hope.

May our great and kind God give you the peace that passes all understanding, and the wisdom to know how to best reach your daughter, or what to pray if there are things happening that you are not involved in that are influencing her against the Lord in any way.
You are not in this alone x
God bless you
 
Jun 22, 2020
1,231
740
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Australia
#9
Hi everyone, I was wondering if I could get your advice on something? My youngest daughter Emily who is 23 won’t follow the Lord. She was of course raised a Christian but recently has turned away. I know I can’t force her to believe but I want her to achieve salvation! Has anyone faced anything similar?
I don't have kids so I can't give u any advice that is certain to work. Therefore I will give u a brief on my prodigal story...

I left the Lord as a teenager. I went to university to study engineering and had put my faith in the theory of evolution and the big bang put my faith in science. In my late 20s I busted them as being pseudosciences and became agnostic...

It would take me another 10 years, an open mind, and a thirst for truth for me to come back to God.
I actually identified the evil one first. He had led me to a suicidal cliff. Looking back I see that my immediate response upon learning that Satan is real was to turn and look for God. That along with my drive to find God could have only come from my years growing up in the church...

Do u know why she doesn't believe in God? I would find that out first and go from there...
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
8,282
4,384
113
#10
"Be a living testimony of Christ in our life. And, faith simply can't be forced on someone,
this being ones own personal choice. Be the example."
fograysprayerkneeling - Copy (6) - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#11
hmm wonder what is really like to be raised christian?
I wasnt but it seems I always believed in God anyway. But He was calling me. I dont really think it was anything to do with my parents as they never prayed for me. Never attended a church except for weddings!


Dont worry about it, your daughter is on her own journey but she has her mother praying for her. I dont think its got anything to do with going or not going to church. A lot of people actually dont go to the church their parents go to and find fellowship with others outside of it.

if shes got a Bible and a hunger to read it she will. Reading the Bible and having words written on her heart is not something you can do FOR her. One day that seed of the Word will grow. My advice is just to keep on loving her.