A good Christian husband outward with moral issues

Many marriages face this issue. Unfortunately, the person with the porn addition has to WANT to change. No amounts of nagging or threats of hell is going to make them stop. However, many people with porn addiction do not think porn is a big deal, so the desire to change is not great. Someone once explained to me that looking at porn is not a big deal, and that it is like "going to the bathroom." Many people (both men and women) view sex as a need, something they cannot control and which is part of nature. I think as long as people view sex as a need, which it isn't, they are going to feel justified in looking at porn, having affairs, etc.

I am married with my husband for the past ten years. We have 3 children. I am conceived with the fourth. I have marrital issues that I cannot share with anyone. He is reputed Christian in my society. But he watches pornography and masturbating a lot. He is not involved physically with anyone but he seems to like quite some girls. He is very enthusiastic towards girls who have big butts, slim, long hair. He dies not behave with me well, but is very well behaved and polite with others that everyone thinks he is very good Christian. I am stuck in this situation. What should I do?

I would rather say the masturbation shows the woman is not enough, so the marriage is on a bad foundation.

If the children are over 5 and in school single parent homes are viable, child support should be pursued because he should not be unburdened by this choice. Obviously, if the children are much older and able to tend to themselves reasonably independently it is a no brainer...

Certainly, this is not helping her find God.

In all of my years at CC this might be the worst advice I’ve seen to date. Whether the husband and father is sexually satisfied or not has no bearing on the sustainability of this family. Just because Ted Bundy and a majority of Christian males view porn, doesn’t mean they are all going to end up raping and killing women. He likes to look at promiscuous, naked women. What confident heterosexual male doesn’t? Why do you think that just about every company injects sex into their advertising? It’s because it works! It doesn’t lessen his ability to provide, and perform as a husband and father. If he was getting fired because of watching porn at work, or ignoring his wife because of it then yeah, time to seek some serious counseling. Other than that it’s no different than having too much to drink at a party…sort of. It’s an addiction. He needs to discover why he’s turning to this outlet, and pray for clarity, not have his life pulled out from under him. As an ex-porn addict I can testify its beatable like any addiction. I have a wife and four children. Me being in their life has been a blessing, in spite of years of sexual dissatisfaction.

It is a different perspective...

I do not think reproduction is a virtue in the NT

I agree but I don’t think divorce is a reasonable solution to a pornography addicted spouse.

It is not about the pornography, it is that neither are fulfilled

It would be better they part so that Christ can be their focus

There is fulfillment in this

If God doesn’t abandon His children, should we?

I am married with my husband for the past ten years. We have 3 children. I am conceived with the fourth. I have marrital issues that I cannot share with anyone. He is reputed Christian in my society. But he watches pornography and masturbating a lot. He is not involved physically with anyone but he seems to like quite some girls. He is very enthusiastic towards girls who have big butts, slim, long hair. He dies not behave with me well, but is very well behaved and polite with others that everyone thinks he is very good Christian. I am stuck in this situation. What should I do?

Huh?

Matt 10:35-38

Not loving your children as much as Christ, doesn’t equate to abandoning them at a young age. I can’t imagine anyone can think that Christ would say, “Love your neighbour but not your children.” A woman cutting her husband loose because he wants more sexual attention than she is willing to give isn’t remotely close to Biblical.

A woman cutting her husband loose because he wants more sexual attention than she is willing to give isn’t remotely close to Biblical.

Lets throw in Luke 14:26

hate
μισεῖ (misei)
Verb - Present Indicative Active - 3rd Person Singular
Strong's Greek 3404: To hate, detest, love less, esteem less. From a primary misos; to detest; by extension, to love less.

Here is the actual translation of the word “hate” used. Again, abandoning children is not Biblical, unless God calls you specifically to serve Him abroad. You seem to be defending your position emotionally, and just trying to justify it with random scripture, hardly relevant. Is there a chance you are not living with your children?

1 Corinthians 7 says her body belongs to him, and his belongs to her...

It explicitly says you should not withhold sex... either of you

Correct, that would probably solve many pornography problems. If wives would just overload men with more orgasms than they could handle perhaps they wouldn’t seek fulfillment elsewhere. That is hardly the solution women are willing to accept. In the OT there was polygamy and concubines to keep the men satisfied. Today they are expected to be satisfied with whatever crumbs are leftover after she exhausts herself doing what she feels she must. A husbands sexual satisfaction is extremely low priority on most lists. That being said, if he feels that she is only there for that purpose then clearly his understanding and priorities also need adjustment.