My Young Nephew, How to Talk to Him

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K

kaylagrl

Guest
#21
Your nephew, I think really needs a good older friend, maybe also needs a good church youth group to hang out with, if you can find any in his area.

Once he starts making good friends, and has a safe place of his own to go, the older cousin wont seem so appealing to hang out with. The other things is, evem though boys tend to be reluctant readers, if you supply them with enough GOOD reading material, i.e books, they know that books can provide a friend when people cant.

find encouraging books or appealing books on things hes interested in, hobbies, etc. Or something like not all heroes wear capes. Or the minecraft Bible. I dont know how old your nephew is...but can he read? I dont assume everyone can..,

Yes, he's 13 and a good reader. He also plays drums and guitar in the church worship group that his mom attends. My sister is head of worship in a small church. Not many his age there. Last time I checked my BIL wasn't attending church, but he's an in and out kind of person. But my nephew is very accomplished at the guitar and learns quickly. I will have to look up books that would be good for his age group. It's kind of a hard age to know how to approach them.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#22
Got a bit of good news today. My nephew has gotten on the football team. They said they needed someone small and fast. His brother is quite tall and I think it's been hard on him that he hasn't grown. I called him to tell him how proud I was of him and that I loved him. We chatted about him starting school and how he was happy to get started. We just joked and talked and I told him if it was ok I would be calling him a little more often. He said he was fine with that and that he was ready to come up and visit again. He lives just under 3hrs away. He's already told me of a place he wants to go see when he gets here. So that made my heart very happy today.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#23
Got a bit of good news today. My nephew has gotten on the football team. They said they needed someone small and fast. His brother is quite tall and I think it's been hard on him that he hasn't grown. I called him to tell him how proud I was of him and that I loved him. We chatted about him starting school and how he was happy to get started. We just joked and talked and I told him if it was ok I would be calling him a little more often. He said he was fine with that and that he was ready to come up and visit again. He lives just under 3hrs away. He's already told me of a place he wants to go see when he gets here. So that made my heart very happy today.
wow cool
I just thought of a book he might like but then he probably had seen the movie?
The Blindside.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#24
Or The Wonder by RJ Palaccio. also made into a movie.

Or Tom Gates series by Liz Pichon, since hes into bands.

Though boys also go for non fiction. Like Guiness world records or Ripleys believe it or not. Or Kids who dare to be different.
And The Action Bible.
 

TheLearner

Well-known member
Jan 14, 2019
7,856
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Brighton, MI
#25
I was talking to my sister last week and found out some heart breaking news. She didn't want anyone else to know, but shared it with me. My 13 yr old nephew was caught vaping. But far worse than that, he lied about it and hid it from his parents. His older brother was the one who told on him because he's a by the book kid. Once he told his parents and brought the vape out to them, the younger one denied it first, then confessed in tears. My sister said my oldest nephew went outside and cried for his little brother. Makes me cry just writing it.

So here is the deeper issue. They have a cousin on their father side who is adopted. He is a year older than my youngest nephew and he is hell on wheels. Because he is adopted his parents let him have and do whatever he wants. He's a big influence. He lives close to them and he's at their house about every other weekend. If they go anywhere, he's invited along. He's an only child so he spends a lot of time with my nephews. He was the one that got my nephew the vape pen or whatever it's called. My sister also said that he was sending dirty pictures on the phone to my youngest nephew. They live in a small town that is full of drugs.

Making everything more difficult is that my sister doesn't get along with her sister in law. Her SIL has a vile tongue and has said many things behind my sisters back to try and get her in trouble with the family and her own husband. She ever told her once that we, her family, didn't love her. Just anything cruel she can think to say or do to hit at my sister, she will do. She's known in the family as the one you don't cross because of the drama she causes. So my sister is left with the young cousin coming over and challenging my youngest nephew to do things he shouldn't. My nephew told me once that his aunt lets him watch movies his mother told him not to. smh

My youngest nephew is a follower and I fear so much for him. My sister has had a very unstable marriage, her husband has a horrific temper. She felt that she needed to stay married for the kids. But now, her husband won't stand up to his sister and tell her what her son is up to. They fear he's already been messing around with girls and porn. My brother in law already has a daughter from another marriage that got pregnant out of wedlock. She's divorced and on her second marriage and she's still in her 20s.

About a year ago my young nephew was having an issue with hoarding garbage. He would hide it under his bed. My mother found garbage he had pulled out of the can in the room he stays in at her place. I believe that was an issue with his parents unstable marriage. He's been on and off meds to help him focus and concentrate. I don't think he's on anything now. My sister says he doesn't have a good close friend. Too many drug addicted families in the area and he doesn't need that influence. My husband and I have always been close to the boys. I only have two nephews. We have taken them everywhere and they have always been perfect kids. It breaks out hearts that the youngest is having these issues. My husband is a smoker and has been trying to quit. He's often warned the boys to never start and told them how hard it is to stop. I want to reach out to him, but I don't want to hurt him or have him shut me out. My sister said he's been very clingy lately with her and when they came up to spend a week here, just the two of them, he was very clingy with me, hugging me, sticking close to me, laying on me when we sat on the couch. And that worries me because that makes me feel there is something deeper going on. I love him as my own son, but I'm seeing a change and it's not a good one. He may be coming up to visit this week and I don't know how I can reach out. He doesn't know that I know what he did. Sorry for the long post, but I wanted to add as many details as possible. If anyone has any ideas, I'd be happy to hear them. Thanks.
There is too much there to address, start with discussion II Peter 1 and how to do it. Suggest to him to be an observer to learn from other people's mistakes. As for vaping explain how tobacco became an living experiment on those who smoke. Also, bring up the costs $$$ and medical $$$ of smokes. Then bring up the $$$ of the vaping tools. If he wants to breathe vepor, show him the machine for colds.