~Chuckle for the Day~

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Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
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Why is it called "after dark"?... 🤔

when it's really "after light"!
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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Probably for the same reason we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway. Also the same reason packages on a ship are called cargo while packages delivered over land are called shipment.
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
757
440
63
Probably for the same reason we drive on a parkway and park in a driveway. Also the same reason packages on a ship are called cargo while packages delivered over land are called shipment.
Very good!
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
757
440
63
Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? 🤔
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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A few more years and nobody alive will understand that one.

Better get all the mileage you can out of it now. :cool:
 

tanakh

Senior Member
Dec 1, 2015
4,635
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My Wife said that I don't pay attention to anything she says
At least I think that's what she said
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
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Some men you can’t fool, no matter how hard you try...........

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be
home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I
headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly,
realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up
with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
(Even when totally smashed.... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos total 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in? I told him'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't
seem mad or upset in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one!
Then he said: “ We need a new cuckoo clock!”
When I asked him why, he said: “ Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh
shit' cuckooed 4 more times,
cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped
over the coffee table and farted."


facepalm-monkey - Copy.jpg image005 MOUSE LAUGHING.gif







 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
757
440
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How many feet are in a yard...? 🤔

depends on how many people are standing in it! 😄
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
757
440
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At a Christian radio station that does news, road conditions, etc..

They received complaints about their traffic reporter.. as being "anti-religious"..

The staff was confused.. 🤔

until they realized the on-air pseudonym the reporter used was "Skip Church" 😄
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
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image001.jpg image001.png "That's all folks." cowhand1 - Copy - Copy.gif :)
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
8,282
4,384
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A wealthy businessman was showing his party guests his special swimming pool. He says, “If you swim one length of the pool, I will give you $10 million or half of my estate or my daughter’s hand in marriage. But there is a shark in the pool.”
Just as he finished this statement, there was a loud splash at the other end of the pool. A man swam the length of the pool and quickly got out just as the shark was about to bite him.
The businessman asked, “So, would you like the $10 million?”
“No,” the swimmer said.
“Half of my estate?”
“No,” the swimmer said.
“Ah! You want my daughter’s hand in marriage!”
“No, I want the name of the person who pushed me in.”



facepalm-monkey - Copy.jpg oldhipz2 (1).gif


 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
757
440
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The main function of the little toe on your foot

is to make ssure that all the furniture in the house is in place! 😉
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
757
440
63
Funny Ad:. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
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Funny Ad:. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
Heh... That's like the McD's where I w*rk. (That's a four letter dirty word, you know, that W word...)

On the drive through window there's a sign that says, "Picture and braille menus available." So... who's reading this sign?

If you can read the sign, you don't need the menus. If you are either blind or illiterate and need one or the other special menu, you can't read the sign.
 

Jase

Well-known member
Jun 9, 2021
757
440
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Bad spellers of the world....UNTIE