Are there single Christian girls in Finland ?

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cinder

cinder

Senior Member
#161
Mar 26, 2014
4,328
2,361
113
#161
Kauko said:
Still dont understand. In what aspects could I be spiritually mature ?
Click to expand...
Start with gratitude, gratitude for all the things you have that many people in the world don't. Job, secure home, enough to eat on a regular basis, no chronic health conditions, living in a reasonably just society (no society is perfect but if you aren't living in a society where the rulers can arbitrarily punish and promote people based on their whims you're better off than most people in history).

Once you're full of gratitude you can look for ways to contribute and make the world a better place for others, even if you don't get anything in return for it.

And then maybe you'll be ready to start on the trusting that God has a plan that is for your good. Even if it looks hopeless right now, he can surprise you and pull a Joseph (guy went from falsely accused prisoner to second in command in the nation in a day thanks to God's plan).
 
Encouragement

Encouragement

Well-known member
#162
Aug 25, 2020
1,487
1,304
113
#162
Kauko said:
But I dont want to remain single. I want a wife ! I want a wife !
Click to expand...
Ummmm there is nothing wrong with wanting a wife.I get the impression that you are actually desperate to meet someone which I know can happen too.Its not easy.
You are really struggling with being single and you're expressing to us just how desperate you are.
The bible does say that 'hope deferred makes the heat sick'..so even God knows that when we are hoping for something and it doesnt happen soon enough it can most definitely affect us...so I emphasize with you on that level.
To deeply want something that you presently do not have is one of the worst feelings ever.
Do you think you could cope with even having a relationship with a female without becoming over whelmed by sexual lust,becoming clingy,obsessive,..even putting her above God in your mind and heart?
You mentioned that you wanna kiss a gf...are you battling with sexual tension and frustration to the point where if you had a gf would you be vulnerable to end up wanting sexual intimacy with her...would you sulk if she will just allow a tiny peck on the lips?
Could you cope if she was sold out for christ and was deep prayer,bible study and wanted you both to pray together about lots of things,attend Christian meetings,wanting you both to spend time chatting about marriage and what it actually means for both of you..your role as a husband(priest,head of the home,loving her as christ loved the church ect)..her role as a wife(A support to your life,equal in value,'willing to respect the God given role you will have as a husband unto God inorder for you to become the man God created you to be ect..)...???

Not having something makes you want it even more and no wife/gf can make your life complete.The same attitudes to your life right now will eventually become the same even if you had a gf/wife.
Ok lts say you have a wife..then what?
What you gonna do when you have your 1st big disagreement?
When the initial excitement melts away when the normal routine of life kicks in?
What you gonna do when sex become less stimulating for you?
When you get all use to having her around your partner will no longer be the object of your passions in the way that they are at the moment...why???..coz you now have them.

It like when someone really wants a car and thinks about cars,longs and yearns for one..then they get a car....then what?
All the things associated with having a car which were once craved become the norm so the level of previous intense wanting and idolising that were there when there wasn't a car are no longer there in that way.
Wanting something is NOT the same as having it.
Of course wanting to have someone special is a perfectly natural desire to have.
However when it comes almost like the be all and end all to a persons life..then it becomes an idol.
You end up worshipping the idea of having someone yet fail to realise that how you would actually treat that someone is actually more important than having them.
Coz your feelings will change when you have them coz you got them..
 
Kauko

Kauko

Active member
#163
Jul 14, 2021
329
50
28
32
#163
seoulsearch said:
The thing is, you sound desperate not just for a girl, but for any kind of human interaction you can get.

You keep throwing out barbs to try to hook anyone and everyone who will bite.

What are your hobbies?

What are your friends and family like?

How about your job and church?

In other words, what does your own independent life consist of?
Click to expand...
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#164
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#164
Kauko said:
But I dont want to remain single. I want a wife ! I want a wife !
Click to expand...
Having a wife is a tremendous responsibility. Once you are married you are no longer carefree and single. This is something to think about. Getting married is an easy thing. Staying married taking care of a spouse can be a hard thing. Especially true if there are children involved. It is really like the traditional vows are stated - To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. Unless you have the wherewithal to accomplish this it is best to remain single. Marriage is not something to casually enter into. "Marry in haste, repent in leisure". Believe me, I speak from my own personal experience.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#165
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#165
Kauko said:
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
Click to expand...
I don't doubt your sincerity or believe that you are a jerk. Don't hate yourself, God loves you. Somewhere, out there, there is probably a girl who will love you too. With God, nothing is impossible. Keep the faith.
 
kinda

kinda

Senior Member
#166
Jun 26, 2013
3,672
1,433
113
#166
RodB651 said:
You can live a good life,
Without a good wife,
For a life,
Without a wife,
Is a life,
Without strife,
I spread my peanut butter,
With a butter knife...

Sorry,..
It's the best I can do right now...
I've only had one coffee...
Click to expand...
Dr. Suess would be proud.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#167
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#167
RodB651 said:
You can live a good life,
Without a good wife,
For a life,
Without a wife,
Is a life,
Without strife,
I spread my peanut butter,
With a butter knife...

Sorry,..
It's the best I can do right now...
I've only had one coffee...
Click to expand...
Only one coffee? OK, that explains it. :)
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#168
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#168
Lynx said:
I'm starting to wonder if this is a troll. Nobody can be THIS obsessed with finding a wife... right? Right?! I sure hope it's just a troll.
Click to expand...
This is like that guy in France having the same obsession.
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#169
Jul 3, 2015
55,819
25,995
113
#169
tourist said:
I don't doubt your sincerity or believe that you are a jerk. Don't hate yourself, God loves you. Somewhere,
out there, there is probably a girl who will love you too. With God, nothing is impossible. Keep the faith.
Click to expand...
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#170
Jul 3, 2015
55,819
25,995
113
#170
Kauko said:
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
Click to expand...
:oops:
 
Magenta

Magenta

Senior Member
#172
Jul 3, 2015
55,819
25,995
113
#172
Kauko said:
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
Click to expand...
Sounds like an addiction, which is a cunning enemy of life.
 
Kauko

Kauko

Active member
#173
Jul 14, 2021
329
50
28
32
#173
Encouragement said:
Ummmm there is nothing wrong with wanting a wife.I get the impression that you are actually desperate to meet someone which I know can happen too.Its not easy.
You are really struggling with being single and you're expressing to us just how desperate you are.
The bible does say that 'hope deferred makes the heat sick'..so even God knows that when we are hoping for something and it doesnt happen soon enough it can most definitely affect us...so I emphasize with you on that level.
To deeply want something that you presently do not have is one of the worst feelings ever.
Do you think you could cope with even having a relationship with a female without becoming over whelmed by sexual lust,becoming clingy,obsessive,..even putting her above God in your mind and heart?
You mentioned that you wanna kiss a gf...are you battling with sexual tension and frustration to the point where if you had a gf would you be vulnerable to end up wanting sexual intimacy with her...would you sulk if she will just allow a tiny peck on the lips?
Could you cope if she was sold out for christ and was deep prayer,bible study and wanted you both to pray together about lots of things,attend Christian meetings,wanting you both to spend time chatting about marriage and what it actually means for both of you..your role as a husband(priest,head of the home,loving her as christ loved the church ect)..her role as a wife(A support to your life,equal in value,'willing to respect the God given role you will have as a husband unto God inorder for you to become the man God created you to be ect..)...???

Not having something makes you want it even more and no wife/gf can make your life complete.The same attitudes to your life right now will eventually become the same even if you had a gf/wife.
Ok lts say you have a wife..then what?
What you gonna do when you have your 1st big disagreement?
When the initial excitement melts away when the normal routine of life kicks in?
What you gonna do when sex become less stimulating for you?
When you get all use to having her around your partner will no longer be the object of your passions in the way that they are at the moment...why???..coz you now have them.

It like when someone really wants a car and thinks about cars,longs and yearns for one..then they get a car....then what?
All the things associated with having a car which were once craved become the norm so the level of previous intense wanting and idolising that were there when there wasn't a car are no longer there in that way.
Wanting something is NOT the same as having it.
Of course wanting to have someone special is a perfectly natural desire to have.
However when it comes almost like the be all and end all to a persons life..then it becomes an idol.
You end up worshipping the idea of having someone yet fail to realise that how you would actually treat that someone is actually more important than having them.
Coz your feelings will change when you have them coz you got them..
Click to expand...
So how can I calm down ?
 
E

Elijah

Member
#174
Jun 29, 2021
37
13
8
#174
Kauko said:
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
Click to expand...
Brother thank you for your honesty, and lust isn’t really good brother me too im lonely and it is really hard for you, but Jesus can satisfy brother we are created for community, don’t go to church when you feel like going go when you don’t and focus on Christ more, read scripture, pray, express gratitude you have come this far brother think on good things and Matthew 5:28 says lust is adultery and please repent too brother, And please and please trust in Christ. Walk with Him, He loves you, try and get to know that love, the love of God. And remember you are a child of God brother.
 
E

Elijah

Member
#176
Jun 29, 2021
37
13
8
#176
Kauko said:
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
Click to expand...
And one way to calm down is know your value. Don’t hate yourself Christ said you are valuable by dying for you and extremely painful death, and God sending His Son for you. Think of God‘a love for you, and think on other things. honestly we as men do need companions wives and people to be around with same with girls. But learn to accept the fact you are loved and be content with it go to church, for you and i need help. Me im lonely too but, thankfully there are people to talk to at times you can’t try chatnow.org or go to church which is much more better. Get to know God more, just Make time 15 minutes to pray, or read scripture for 30 starting with the book of John. Even if you have read it in the pass try again. And brother i really suggest you go to church and pray and read scripture and worship. In church ask for help and ask God FIRST to help you in prayer along with thanksgiving. God loves you, Christ loves you. And go to church.
 
E

Elijah

Member
#178
Jun 29, 2021
37
13
8
#178
Kauko said:
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
Click to expand...
And brother marriage isn’t something easy, it’s commitment not just having someone it is much more. It is loving your wife just as Christ Jesus loved the church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:26-27) but don’t worry first ask God and read scripture get information on marriage and please and please put God first before you marry or things might get harder. know God more and go to church. Church is extremely important. and get to know God’s love so that you can know Him more. Even if there won’t be church for a couple of days call the pastor message the pastor, but first go and pray talk to God about everything, how you feel, what you want, what you need, and also consider and think on His deeds and love, just be sincere even if it’s 2 thank You’s. And have faith, faith as little as a mustard seed is enough.
 
E

Elijah

Member
#179
Jun 29, 2021
37
13
8
#179
Kauko said:
You were right. Im probably turning my dream girl into an idol. But how can I calm down my passion ? How ?
Click to expand...
Kauko said:
You were right. Im probably turning my dream girl into an idol. But how can I calm down my passion ? How ?
Click to expand...
doing sports is good have learnt that doing sports makes the sexual passion or something like that less.
 
E

Elijah

Member
#180
Jun 29, 2021
37
13
8
#180
Kauko said:
Well I cant write an entire biography here so I will tell you only the important points. I dont have any hobbies. I dont feel like I particularly enjoy something. Well, except drinking a few and fantasizing with my dream girl in bed. Im thinking on her nearly all the time. I sometimes use my pillow to fantasize. I want this girl so much, I want this girl. Im so full of passion. I cant stop thinking on this girl, its like a drug. Its the way I flee from my emotional problems. Oww passion. I really want this sweet Christian girl !

Im not a friends person. Im rather a social outcast. My parents are too old. I just have my brother but lives in Tampere and we dont talk much. To be sincere Im not very happy with my job but do it anyways. I have not gone to church for a time but did in the past. I simply dont feel like it, maybe because of my existential crisis. Yes, its sometimes hard to accept but, my loneliness has made me a miserable person. I have been lusting with a girl for a long time already. I always have had a very strong desire for a girlfriend. Time is passing and Im only feeling less desire for living every year. Why cant I find a good Christian girl ? Why there are no girls of God here ? Why ? Why ? This is ruining my life. I hate myself. I hate myself. I prefer dying before living an eternity of loneliness depression and alcoholism. I dont want to be a fat drunkard. I dont want to be a jerk.
Click to expand...
And learn to enjoy Christ https://library.timelesstruths.org/texts/The_Christians_Secret_of_a_Happy_Life/ and start reading this, me i started reading this.
 
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