My ex-wife and finances...

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CeeKay

New member
#1
Oct 17, 2021
9
7
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#1
This is a long story... my ex-wife has reentered my life after a very nasty divorce nine years ago. I was saddled with about $100k of debt from the divorce (bills, NSF checks, unfiled taxes, etc.) and I took care of all of it - relying on my faith and my ability to manage money to get through those times. I've been living within my means and working towards retirement. She disappeared and moved throughout the country over the last nine years, avoiding her responsibilities and being chased by lawyers and creditors for her debts.

Two weeks ago I was served with a notice that she was taking me back to court and trying to saddle me with close to $200k in additional debt - something I can't afford (between my military retirement and being a school custodian, it would take me a lifetime to pay it off). My lawyer managed to get some of the issues taken care of at the hearing on Thursday, but the others will have to be worked out between both parties. I feel that I will be saddled with more debt and fear losing everything that I've worked to obtain after the divorce

I find myself praying for my ex... praying that someone would reach out to her and take away her anger and hatred towards me and show her that money is not the cure all that she thinks it is. There's no anger from me, just sadness that her life has gone this way. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Is it wrong to pray for a financial miracle? I'm so confused right now...

Thanks,

Chris
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#2
Jan 16, 2021
5,607
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#2
Any debts she incurred after the divorce are all on her...I would even go as far as charging her with crimes if she used your identity to obtain the debts. (Because if she is guilty of that it's not your fault)

But I do understand the wishes and sentiment. Unfortunately you don't have any choice. That's one reason why you divorced her.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#3
#3
CeeKay said:
This is a long story... my ex-wife has reentered my life after a very nasty divorce nine years ago. I was saddled with about $100k of debt from the divorce (bills, NSF checks, unfiled taxes, etc.) and I took care of all of it - relying on my faith and my ability to manage money to get through those times. I've been living within my means and working towards retirement. She disappeared and moved throughout the country over the last nine years, avoiding her responsibilities and being chased by lawyers and creditors for her debts.

Two weeks ago I was served with a notice that she was taking me back to court and trying to saddle me with close to $200k in additional debt - something I can't afford (between my military retirement and being a school custodian, it would take me a lifetime to pay it off). My lawyer managed to get some of the issues taken care of at the hearing on Thursday, but the others will have to be worked out between both parties. I feel that I will be saddled with more debt and fear losing everything that I've worked to obtain after the divorce

I find myself praying for my ex... praying that someone would reach out to her and take away her anger and hatred towards me and show her that money is not the cure all that she thinks it is. There's no anger from me, just sadness that her life has gone this way. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Is it wrong to pray for a financial miracle? I'm so confused right now...

Thanks,

Chris
Click to expand...
I'm not familiar with divorce laws or how assets are handled. Why is she suing you for $200K? Is your name of the debts? Do you think there are strong legal grounds for this?
 
C

CeeKay

New member
#4
Oct 17, 2021
9
7
3
#4
Most of the money is because she failed to file taxes for five years - we had always file "married filing seperate" while married (she made almost twice as much as I did - my taxes were filed first and the rebate from it was used to pay most or all of her taxes). She's trying to make me pay for the penalties on her taxes that she filed late and other debts that she beelieves I should pay. She's also being sued by at least one person in Texas that I'm aware of (I was called by an attorney looking for her back in August), which is probably why she started this.
 
JohnDB

JohnDB

Well-known member
#5
Jan 16, 2021
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#5
CeeKay said:
Most of the money is because she failed to file taxes for five years - we had always file "married filing seperate" while married (she made almost twice as much as I did - my taxes were filed first and the rebate from it was used to pay most or all of her taxes). She's trying to make me pay for the penalties on her taxes that she filed late and other debts that she beelieves I should pay. She's also being sued by at least one person in Texas that I'm aware of (I was called by an attorney looking for her back in August), which is probably why she started this.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah she is responsible...
Not your debts whatsoever. And the original divorce decree will play a role in all of this...which is why your attorney was able to get a lot of it tossed out by the looking. The rest is going to be just paperwork and dates and filing. Good luck in finding all the old records and dates.

A friend once told me when dealing with an ex wife and finances.... keep every scrap of paper and receipt. Even cancelled checks and bank statements. Even napkins you doodled on if you met for coffee to hash out an agreement. EVERY scrap!
 
Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy

Well-known member
#6
Jun 11, 2018
3,216
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#6
Praying, for you, for your ex-wife, and for the situation that you've found yourself in with her.

God bless you! (Numbers 6:24-26)

~Deut
p.s. - I'm very sorry to hear that you are going through this difficulty right now!! In the hope of being somewhat encouraging however, here is some good news to consider, God has promised to make good come out of every situation that we face, even the ones that, from our limited POV, we can only see as being bad .. Romans 8:28. So keep your hope and your trust in Him throughout it all .. e.g. Isaiah 40:31, 41:10; Lamentations 3:22-24.:)



We know that God causes all things to work together
for good to those who love God, to those who
are called according to His purpose.
Romans 8:28
.​
 
G

GaryA

Truth, Honesty, Love, Courage
#7
Aug 10, 2019
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mywebsite.us
#7
Does she (or, has she ever) made any profession of faith in Christ?
 
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CeeKay

New member
#8
Oct 17, 2021
9
7
3
#8
GaryA said:
Does she (or, has she ever) made any profession of faith in Christ?
Click to expand...
Years ago, when we were first married - the last time I saw her, she claimed that she had converted to Buddhism. Her mother was a very religious person and well loved in her community. I only met her once (she passed away right after my ex and I were married of an aortal aneurysm) and she really touched my heart and soul.
 
genna123

genna123

New member
#9
Oct 17, 2021
6
5
3
#9
CeeKay said:
This is a long story... my ex-wife has reentered my life after a very nasty divorce nine years ago. I was saddled with about $100k of debt from the divorce (bills, NSF checks, unfiled taxes, etc.) and I took care of all of it - relying on my faith and my ability to manage money to get through those times. I've been living within my means and working towards retirement. She disappeared and moved throughout the country over the last nine years, avoiding her responsibilities and being chased by lawyers and creditors for her debts.

Two weeks ago I was served with a notice that she was taking me back to court and trying to saddle me with close to $200k in additional debt - something I can't afford (between my military retirement and being a school custodian, it would take me a lifetime to pay it off). My lawyer managed to get some of the issues taken care of at the hearing on Thursday, but the others will have to be worked out between both parties. I feel that I will be saddled with more debt and fear losing everything that I've worked to obtain after the divorce

I find myself praying for my ex... praying that someone would reach out to her and take away her anger and hatred towards me and show her that money is not the cure all that she thinks it is. There's no anger from me, just sadness that her life has gone this way. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Is it wrong to pray for a financial miracle? I'm so confused right now...

Thanks,

Chris
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry for the difficulty you're going through right now. I don't think it's wrong to because of the fact that if you let this resentment burn inside you; this could allow the enemy to enter your heart. Rather than getting angry you're choosing to do exactly what god wants you to do. The question is, should we love people who provide us with issues?
 
TabinRivCA

TabinRivCA

Well-known member
#11
Oct 23, 2018
12,348
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#11
I add my prayers for God's favor and protection over you, in Jesus Name Amen🙌🙌🙌
Here's a prayer I quite liked for myself also, as I was cheated out of a inheritance:
God, Your Word says that whatever I bind on earth is bound in heaven and whatever I loose on earth is loosed in heaven. Therefore, on the authority of Your Word, I bind every force that has set itself against my financial prosperity! I AM FREE FROM OPPRESSION! I now loose the abundance of God, and all that rightfully belongs to me now comes to me under grace in a perfect way. In the name of Jesus, I make these declarations, Amen!

1
 
C

CeeKay

New member
#12
Oct 17, 2021
9
7
3
#12
Just following up...

Haven't heard anything more about this... but continue to pray for a resolution to this and for Him to reach out and touch my ex-wife's heart about this. Feel His presence and strength with me throughout the day and at night when I sleep.

Want to thank all who have sent their prayers and thoughts... I believe that it has and will continue to make a difference.
 
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