How do I find a super shy introvert wife?

Red flags are better than black ball flags. lol



Surfers worst nightmare up here.

Oh yes. Hobbies can get expensive 😅

I dont know anybody from Estonia so sorry cant help you

why do people think cc christian singles is like a dating agency/mail order bride company or something.

I just thought it was a forum for christian singles to fellowship online

Have I been duped all this time..!

Probably because most social platforms that have the word 'singles' in it are. 🤷‍♀️
Most of the time, when someone is informed that isn't the case here, the person in happy to stay and chat amongst us anyway. 🙂

huh I wouldnt know what to say to this person

sorry no shy Estonians here but can I interest you in some scripture.

Seek and ye shall find
He who find a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the LORD

maybe should just pick one from the bubbly non- Estonians who really want to be married. I mean how desperate is this..like is there a deadline or a date you have to be married by. When does this expire

So yes, from what I read these guys you listed seem to be seeking a similar type of woman, but are struggling, and reacting to it in different ways.

The first thread poster is the Kauko some folks mentioned earlier, he is Finnish and 30 (29 by the thread's time) and seems to be a depressed alcoholic who has lost any hope in the future and thinks whatever he does he is destined to failure. He also looks very frustrated with the people in his around, especially the women, and takes everything very personally, as if everybody wanted to murder him or something. Maybe he had some kind of trauma when he was young and now appears to be trying his hardest to eliminate these memories with spirits. Sometimes he seems to post while drunk too. He probably also likes statistics as various of them appear mentioned through his posts. Besides that his thread is very long (48 pages) in comparison to the others, I also revised some of the latest pages and he appears to have left indefinitely discouraged by the remnant of posters. I wonder what he would have to say right now.

The second thread was posted by a 18 year old Frenchman who lives (or lived by the time) in Luxembourg. He was far less of a whiner than Kauko and more kind of balanced in the optimist-pessimist spectrum. His English was also noticeably poorer and overused the '&' mark in his posts. He was kinda ruder too and seemed to be longing a lot for intimacy. I have no idea why he got banned.

The third thread comes from a Czech guy called Zdenek. He seems somewhat calmer and more understanding. I would say that he is the most mature of the guys (maybe not always but sure more than Kauko for example). Seems worried about the low religiosity of his country, though he is not completely defeatist about it, and most probably he was looking for advice on how could he try to find a wife he could love. Maybe he perceived that such an experience would be very special for him, and didn't want to miss it therefore.

This is at least what I get about each of the guys, so maybe I missed something worthy of mentioning.

Complaining about low religiosity was a common thread... One of MANY common threads.

OP, you shared what you are looking for in a spouse. To keep the topic well rounded, what do you have to offer to your spouse? Or what are characteristics you are working on to be a godly spouse?

Thank you for taking the time.

It's great that you took in a lot of information about those who posted...

What about the answers that were given to them, seeing as they asked all the same questions as you are asking?

And, as Melita is asking you something we asked all these other members as well.

What do you have to offer a Godly spouse?

Do you mean the things like money, job, home etc?

We mean like if you were writing a dating profile, what would be your reasons a Godly woman should pick you?

Here in Singles, we try very hard to attempt to balance what we hope for in someone with what we might have to offer them, because that's the only way relationships work.

We know a lot about what you want.

So what do you have to offer?

Ah. I don't know. Each woman is different and will have their own reasons to pick me (or not). I can't really tell.

But if anything the real question would be whether she would accept or reject my offer. Because I expect to be the one who picks her, not vice versa. Furthermore I pretty much doubt that a shy woman would be the active part in a relationship.

But 'offer' in what sense?

Not sure if anyone has said this yet, but you might try looking anywhere outside of Western countries. I suspect that's why you're asking this question because you see that you can't find the woman you're looking for. I know you must be in a Western country, despite your profile being set to private, or you wouldn't be asking this question. Am I right?

Avoid North America, Europe, and Australia. Not that you cannot find the woman you want in those places, but it'll be more difficult.

I recommend trying literally anywhere else where traditional values are still a thing. Have you considered checking South Korea, Japan, or Vietnam? Just some suggestions. Good luck.

My educated guess would be something like, "Are you able to hold down a job? Do you have enough income to support a family, and if you're currently too young, still in school, etc. are you willing to take on that responsibility? Are you industrious or are you going to sit around playing video games all day while she does everything? How physically fit and/or healthy are you? Do you already have ten children and are looking for a woman to be their mother? Are you emotionally stable or do you have major mental health issues? Do you have a criminal rap sheet or issues with alcoholism or are you clean?

Please note I'm not accusing you in any way and you definitely don't need to answer any of the above. Just giving various examples of what people are looking for in a partner or questions they may have of a potential partner. The fact is, even shy women are looking for a good relationship with some degree of stability and maturity in the man, and she will indeed be picking you just as much as you might pick her (unless your plan is to order a wife through the mail or enslave her in some way) and her family is very likely going to have a great deal of input as well as to whether or not they find you suitable.

Also, shy people are typically much, much less shy around people they know. Both of you will need to be active in the relationship if it going to work long term. You get out what you put in pretty much like anything else.

No thanks. I want a white woman, and that's a requirement I won't give up. I don't want ugly mixed race children with weird eyes, so Asian women for you.

That said, it's interesting that you are in a Christian forum, and that none of the countries you suggest are of Christian tradition. Yes sure these countries will have their own small Christian communities, but then just like Syria or Egypt, or Turkmenistan would, and I pretty much doubt you would ever think about these countries as examples. If you mentioned at least Philippines I could have found a bit more of reason in your argument.

And another thing is that, from what I heard these women are not that rare to find in certain parts of Europe either. And they are white and Christian, unlike the ones you talk about.

Sorry if I have been a bit rude with this post, but think about it.

I understand the thought of seeking out women in Asian countries, as this seems to be the long-standing advice that has always been given to men who are looking for "submissive wives with traditional values."

I just think that most men who do so don't truly realize what those traditional values entail.

I'm certainly no expert, but over the years, I've known about 10 situations involving such couples (a bride brought in from another country) or I knew the child of such a marriage.

And the pattern was always the same: the man wanted a beautiful, sweet, submissive, loving stay-at-home wife with traditional values.

And what he failed to realize in each case is that he was taking a young woman away from the very family who had given her those traditional values, from a culture that might emphasize family much more so than his own, and didn't realize just how challenging that really is.

The top problems I have seen in these marriages have been:

1. She's cut off from her family, and over time, will become depressed and unhappy. It can't be expected that she will be in good spirits once taken away from her family, culture, friends, native language, and everything familiar to her. It must be considered that she will need a way to stay in touch with, and most likely go back and periodically visit her country on a regular basis, or to bring her family to your country to visit as often as possible.

2. This will become even more apparent if the couple has children. Traditional family values in such countries means that grandparents are to be part of the children's lives growing up, and in many cases, the mother-in-law expects to come live with the family to help raise the babies in their formative years, at the very least.

3. Her traditional family may expect you help support them (as is customary in such countries -- offspring support their parents, at the very least, if not other members as well.) You may find yourself supporting not only her, but a good number of her family members as well. And it won't be seen as gold-digging -- it will be seen as part of traditional values. Likewise, she may expect that as her parents age, you will provide for them to come and live with you. In Asian countries, it is expected that you will take care of your parents, which usually means having them live with you.

4. You will most likely encounter prejudice. I know a girl who is constantly asked, "So, are you a bad (member of her country) or a good one?" And she says that people don't really care what the answer is, because they usually just assume she's one of the "bad" ones. As much as I wish things were different these days, they just aren't, and if your children are mixed, people will certainly voice their opinions to both you and them about that fact -- often in not-so-nice ways.

5. There are a lot of cultural differences when it comes to raising children. What might be seen as abuse in one country is seen as normal everyday child-rearing in another. Physical discipline in other countries that is seen as abuse here may be seen as a normal part of parenting according to her own traditional values.

I am not trying to discourage anyone from going after what they wish for in a spouse, especially if that's where God is leading them.

But I've seen many cases in which the person seeking such a wife never even considered these things until they happened, and it certainly did not make for a very happy or stable marriage.

I would strongly encourage anyone looking into this to do some research and preparation before taking the leap.

Yup. Here we go.

At least one of the other names posting these questions was extremely racist as well.