I'm having Problems with Resentment, Bitterness, Unforgiveness, and Misdirection

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#1
I hope there is someone out there that is gifted as a prayer warrior. Someone that enjoys praying for those who they do not know personally. I'm not one of those people. I pray often but I'm always so upset with life that I find myself just complaining about my situations. It upsets me that I'm like this, but for years I have asked the Lord to change my heart, feelings, etc. But for some reason He doesn't. Maybe it's because I got sin in my life. I think I'm going to write a post about one of the sins I struggle with. But I'm not doing it now because it will take a whole post for me to explain that one!

This post is about my current problem with Resentment, Bitterness, Unforgiveness, and Misdirection. Or you could call it confusion. I'm a night janitor for a school. I work second shift, and maintaining any kind of friendships is hard. The teachers are too busy to be my friend. (In fact my supervisor suggested that I don't talk to teachers at all, with the exception of just saying "Hi"). But once in a while I'll meet a teacher who breaks the tradition of ignoring my existence. (Most ignore my existence. They don't even say Hi to me. Let alone ask me how I'm doing.) Whenever that happens, then I feel like it's the Christian thing to do, to be a friend within the confinement of the rules. Doing things this way, I sorta made friends with about three of them. But even with them, I have to make almost all the effort. Back in October of 2021, I lost one "friend". She was a teacher who I saw almost every night. As not to bother her, I usually just waited until she said something to me before said anything. About six years, I cautiously tried to keep the friendship alive, until one day I screwed up, and upset her. She said some things to me that made me feel stupid, and we haven't spoken since. I've been feeling Resentful, and can't seem to break that feeling myself. I've prayed about it, and tried talking about it, but I can't seem to make the feeling go away.
 
Mar 6, 2022
29
29
13
#3
I prayed for you. You sound very genuine. I am sorry people treat you like this. I think you just need better friends. I certainly understand that because I have trouble making friends also.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,243
16,252
113
69
Tennessee
#4
I will say a prayer for you for God to remove these negative feelings from your life.
 

Bingo

Well-known member
Feb 9, 2019
8,281
4,383
113
#5
"Let us pray to try and understand what has caused this issue of
(Problems with Resentment, Bitterness, Unforgiveness, and Misdirection)
there would appear to be an underlying issue in your life that brings forth such an
unhealthy assumption, and you are the only one that would have a clue as to why?
-Let us pray to fully understand, personal problems need to be honestly confronted and
honestly evaluated through a rational conclusion. And through acting upon the Lord's
principles of life, one must learn to practice the principles.
-I hope and pray you find what is needed in your life."
'Amen'
'Praise God'


man-praying - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy - Copy.jpg
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#6
I want you all to know that I appreciate the prayers. :)

I realize that anything I write will be open to interpretation. It's hard for me to explain things that I don't fully understand. Usually all I can do is try to tell my life stories, as close to the beginning as possible. Otherwise I would haft to go on and on and on. I would like to see God heal the relationship between me and this person. If He chooses to not heal the relationship. I would like him to give the relationship a kind ending, and heal any hurt feelings I have, and if she has any, as well....

By the way, I agree that I need better friends! There are definitely problems with people in my area. I have heard other people say that many, if not, most people around here are snobby. My interpretation, through observation, that these people are very choosy. If you fit in, you fit in. If you don't, then you get snobbed and treated like you don't exist. It's not only a problem at the school I work for, but I have noticed it in many of our local Bible Believing Churches! It is one half of the reason why both Me and my parents finally quit attending Church. Covid 19 became the final deciding factor. Even if Covid went away tomorrow, I don't think any of us wish to return to Churches full of snobby people who treat you like you don't exist. That is how this teacher got me to let my guard down. She treated me like I existed, and even did some nice things. Although it wasn't nearly as often as I think a good friend would do. I have always wondered what her game was. But I'm not going to post the entire story, it's been going on for 6 years, and I can tell you that it at least takes 2 pages of text to cover all the necessary details. I don't want to get into trouble over exposing someone's privacy online. However I did start writing it, and I might, depending on how things go, share it with my boss, or school principal. It would really be nice if her and I can get healing without doing that.
 
Nov 11, 2021
44
16
8
#8
By the way, I agree that I need better friends!
"Friend, a treasure, one who loves you as you are.
One who sees not only who you are but who you can become.
One who is there to catch you when you fall.
One with whom you can share your everyday experiences.
One who accepts your worst, but helps you to become your best.
Someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you [today] just the way you are.
Someone who comes in when the world - the whole world - has gone out," - Charles Stanley (I think...).

Only one can truly fill this role. Give all your resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, and confusion to Him in heartfelt prayer and watch your sorrows melt away.

Adding my prayer to yours,
be blessed brother!
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,713
113
#9
She treated me like I existed, and even did some nice things. Although it wasn't nearly
as often as I think a good friend would do. I have always wondered what her game was.
Maybe she was trying to prove to herself that she wasn't as snobby as everyone else, when she really was.
 

love_comes_softly

Well-known member
Feb 13, 2019
768
822
93
#10
I pray that the Lord comfort you during this time and that he will come rely heal you of your hurts, bitterness and resentments that may be building up. I pray that He opens doors to heal this relationship or to direct you in the way of Godly relationships that will help edify your walk. I pray that you will have peace in wherever this season takes you. God bless!
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#11
I called my boss, and told him about some of the issues I've been facing. He's interested in reading what I wrote about her. I won't be able to have that done right away. But maybe I can do some proof reading over the weekend. Even if I don't get it done, at least I've been able to talk about it a little more. it's one of those situations where, I think, it's good to get advice from people who know both you and her. Please keep praying. :)
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#12
Today it was bothering me again. I found myself upset enough that I was going to talk to her about it. Tell her how much she hurt me, etc. But when I got to her room she wasn't there. Perhaps it isn't God's will that I do that. After work was over, I sit in my car praying about it again. I don't know what I'm going to do...
 

dlw

Member
Aug 29, 2021
61
28
18
#14
From my 39 year of marriage i can say girls feelings are hurt much more easily than mens feelings are most of the time and we dont realize we hurt them. Not saying this is your case but there are 2 sides to every coin .Hope you work it out with her. If you reach out to her you will find out one way or another.
https://www.gotquestions.org/seventy-times-seven.html
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#15
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to her. Things seemed to go well! I got to share my feelings and explain to her why I have them. She seemed to be understanding. But I want you to pray for one more thing. I kinda disobey my boss to do this, because He does not want me having any kind of conflict. Once I said something to a teacher that she thought was distasteful, so she told my boss, and I got called in. I went to her, and told her, if you got anything wrong with me, please just tell me. We shook hands on it. I thought everything was good! The very next day, I got called in again. Same person, had an issue with me. This time I stopped talking to her, and we never spoke again! She even goes to local church that I sometimes attend. She ignores me there too. What I'm trying to say is, I feel a lot better, and I think we made up. But I'm still a little worried, because of what happened last time with a different individual.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#16
March 25, I finally talked to her again. Just a very short casual thing that didn't mean anything... But it's a start, I guess.
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#17
Things have progressed a little with her, but very little.

6 years ago when I met her, it was weird. She winked at me. And there has been little signs here and there, that maybe she liked me. I've talked about her in other places on this site. And one of the advice I've gotten is that I should try to ask her out on a date. It's a scary thing to do. But at the end of the day it is what Jesus wants and not what we want. I ask that you would please continue to pray about this situation. I know that some of things I'm reporting might not make total sense to you. But the reason why I started this post is because I need God to help me to deal with this!

 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,811
2,800
113
#18
I hope there is someone out there that is gifted as a prayer warrior. Someone that enjoys praying for those who they do not know personally. I'm not one of those people. I pray often but I'm always so upset with life that I find myself just complaining about my situations. It upsets me that I'm like this, but for years I have asked the Lord to change my heart, feelings, etc. But for some reason He doesn't. Maybe it's because I got sin in my life. I think I'm going to write a post about one of the sins I struggle with. But I'm not doing it now because it will take a whole post for me to explain that one!

This post is about my current problem with Resentment, Bitterness, Unforgiveness, and Misdirection. Or you could call it confusion. I'm a night janitor for a school. I work second shift, and maintaining any kind of friendships is hard. The teachers are too busy to be my friend. (In fact my supervisor suggested that I don't talk to teachers at all, with the exception of just saying "Hi"). But once in a while I'll meet a teacher who breaks the tradition of ignoring my existence. (Most ignore my existence. They don't even say Hi to me. Let alone ask me how I'm doing.) Whenever that happens, then I feel like it's the Christian thing to do, to be a friend within the confinement of the rules. Doing things this way, I sorta made friends with about three of them. But even with them, I have to make almost all the effort. Back in October of 2021, I lost one "friend". She was a teacher who I saw almost every night. As not to bother her, I usually just waited until she said something to me before said anything. About six years, I cautiously tried to keep the friendship alive, until one day I screwed up, and upset her. She said some things to me that made me feel stupid, and we haven't spoken since. I've been feeling Resentful, and can't seem to break that feeling myself. I've prayed about it, and tried talking about it, but I can't seem to make the feeling go away.
Thank you for your honesty. God will now show you how to deal with your problem.

Unforgiveness is the root of bitterness and resentment. Unforgiveness cuts us off from fellowship with Go, hinders our prayers and makes us an easy target for tormenting evil spirits (parable of the unjust servant).

It's easy to say, "You must forgive." It's impossible for us to forgive genuinely from our hearts, especially when we are deeply hurt. However, God is not unfair or unjust. He has made it possible for us to be delivered from unforgiveness. If you will read the linked article, you will find the key. It's quite long, but well worth it. The principle enabled me to forgive my ex wife, who disappeared with my children. I did not see them for 15 years.

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart
 
S

Seeking-Christ

Guest
#19
Thank you for your honesty. God will now show you how to deal with your problem.

Unforgiveness is the root of bitterness and resentment. Unforgiveness cuts us off from fellowship with Go, hinders our prayers and makes us an easy target for tormenting evil spirits (parable of the unjust servant).

It's easy to say, "You must forgive." It's impossible for us to forgive genuinely from our hearts, especially when we are deeply hurt. However, God is not unfair or unjust. He has made it possible for us to be delivered from unforgiveness. If you will read the linked article, you will find the key. It's quite long, but well worth it. The principle enabled me to forgive my ex wife, who disappeared with my children. I did not see them for 15 years.

https://www.christianlife.org.au/can-you-forgive-from-your-heart
Thank you for the article. I already told her that I forgave her. I don't remember if I wrote a report about that or not. But this wasn't nearly as bad as what your ex wife did to you! I hope that God does a good work with that issue!

Dear Heavenly Father I pray for Gideon300. Please help that situation out. I ask that will do work in his ex wife's heart, and make it so that He can see his kids. In Jesus Name Amen.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,811
2,800
113
#20
Thank you for the article. I already told her that I forgave her. I don't remember if I wrote a report about that or not. But this wasn't nearly as bad as what your ex wife did to you! I hope that God does a good work with that issue!

Dear Heavenly Father I pray for Gideon300. Please help that situation out. I ask that will do work in his ex wife's heart, and make it so that He can see his kids. In Jesus Name Amen.
Thanks for your concern. This all happened a long time ago. By a miracle, I found out where my ex wife was and got back in touch with my kids. I don't see a lot of them as they are adults and have their own lives. I'm okay with that.