DIVIDED LOYALTIES - Christian family vs flesh and blood relatives

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#1
#1
It seems that, at the moment, I am the only member of my close biological family that has received the gift of faith in Jesus. I get on well enough with them, and vice versa. However, we can generally only communicate at surface level, and we have different opinions on what is morally correct, so there is no real depth to our fellowship.

I thought I would get that 'family' type fellowship need met by the church, but it has never been made available to me to the quality and extent appropriate.

We all need family interaction, and since Jesus indicated that our fellow Christians are our family, why is it that the church generally doesn't seem to be set up in a way that will facilitate quality-time family social interaction, for all members?
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#2
Mar 18, 2021
4,904
2,836
113
#2
ChristianTonyB said:
It seems that, at the moment, I am the only member of my close biological family that has received the gift of faith in Jesus. I get on well enough with them, and vice versa. However, we can generally only communicate at surface level, and we have different opinions on what is morally correct, so there is no real depth to our fellowship.

I thought I would get that 'family' type fellowship need met by the church, but it has never been made available to me to the quality and extent appropriate.

We all need family interaction, and since Jesus indicated that our fellow Christians are our family, why is it that the church generally doesn't seem to be set up in a way that will facilitate quality-time family social interaction, for all members?
Click to expand...
Good question. I have been blessed to be in a family type, home based fellowship for decades. The Lord led me to meet these people and I won't go back to the traditional style. Ask lord Jesus to lead you to like minded people. You may have to start something yourself.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#3
#3
ChristianTonyB said:
It seems that, at the moment, I am the only member of my close biological family that has received the gift of faith in Jesus. I get on well enough with them, and vice versa. However, we can generally only communicate at surface level, and we have different opinions on what is morally correct, so there is no real depth to our fellowship.

I thought I would get that 'family' type fellowship need met by the church, but it has never been made available to me to the quality and extent appropriate.

We all need family interaction, and since Jesus indicated that our fellow Christians are our family, why is it that the church generally doesn't seem to be set up in a way that will facilitate quality-time family social interaction, for all members?
Click to expand...
I think the simple truth is that people only have time for their own biological families, and that ultimately they only care about their own famiilies. That's why there is a lack of bonding in the church beyond the pleasantries.
 
T

TheIndianGirl

Guest
#4
#4
The closest I've felt family type fellowship was at a Korean church. The church staff/volunteers were very committed enough to provide free homemade lunch after service EVERY week. The schedule was such that there was service, lunch provided, then different types of Bible studies after lunch. So, basically all Sunday is devoted to church activities which allow time for bonding. Ive noticed similar feeling at Indian and Ethiopian church - there is more caring. Meanwhile, most Americans get anxious if the service is past an hour and they cannot leave before noon. Maybe it goes back to differences in culture.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#5
#5
Gideon300 said:
Good question. I have been blessed to be in a family type, home based fellowship for decades. The Lord led me to meet these people and I won't go back to the traditional style. Ask lord Jesus to lead you to like minded people. You may have to start something yourself.
Click to expand...
Thanks G300. I've been praying and looking for a similar fellowship to yours for a long time, and have not found one. I've been all around Oz looking for it, and have made various attempts to encourage the starting of one. The Lord has His reason for keeping me at bay.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#6
#6
TheIndianGirl said:
The closest I've felt family type fellowship was at a Korean church. The church staff/volunteers were very committed enough to provide free homemade lunch after service EVERY week. The schedule was such that there was service, lunch provided, then different types of Bible studies after lunch. So, basically all Sunday is devoted to church activities which allow time for bonding. Ive noticed similar feeling at Indian and Ethiopian church - there is more caring. Meanwhile, most Americans get anxious if the service is past an hour and they cannot leave before noon. Maybe it goes back to differences in culture.
Click to expand...
Yes IG, and one very important fact. Overtime, through divisions and religiosity, much of the church has become more religious practice oriented, and less family community oriented.
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#7
Mar 18, 2021
4,904
2,836
113
#7
ChristianTonyB said:
Thanks G300. I've been praying and looking for a similar fellowship to yours for a long time, and have not found one. I've been all around Oz looking for it, and have made various attempts to encourage the starting of one. The Lord has His reason for keeping me at bay.
Click to expand...
It does not help that the modern church has lost sight of the reason for its existence. Whatever happened to dying to self and seeking God's kingdom? I visited a large and well known church a short while ago. They gave me a "free coffee" card, I suppose an incentive to bring me back. If the place was alive spiritually, I would have bought coffee for them!
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#8
#8
Gideon300 said:
It does not help that the modern church has lost sight of the reason for its existence. Whatever happened to dying to self and seeking God's kingdom? I visited a large and well known church a short while ago. They gave me a "free coffee" card, I suppose an incentive to bring me back. If the place was alive spiritually, I would have bought coffee for them!
Click to expand...
Yes, I find it all very grieving. But I know God has a plan, and of course He doesn't consult with me on what that is. I'll just have to wait and see. I don't know if we are close to God calling 'time's up', but I can't see Him leaving the status quo in the church and the world much longer, at the very least I feel there will be a very heavy check of both on the way, and soon. If we look at the history of Israel, he sent smaller checks first to try and turn their heads back towards Him, and got heavier with those when Israel stubbornly dug its toes in!
 
G

Gideon300

Well-known member
#9
Mar 18, 2021
4,904
2,836
113
#9
ChristianTonyB said:
Yes, I find it all very grieving. But I know God has a plan, and of course He doesn't consult with me on what that is. I'll just have to wait and see. I don't know if we are close to God calling 'time's up', but I can't see Him leaving the status quo in the church and the world much longer, at the very least I feel there will be a very heavy check of both on the way, and soon. If we look at the history of Israel, he sent smaller checks first to try and turn their heads back towards Him, and got heavier with those when Israel stubbornly dug its toes in!
Click to expand...
I agree and I believe that we are seeing it happen now. My assurance is based on Jesus' promise that He is building His church. It may be underground and the denominational scene bypassed. However, Satan can do nothing to thwart God's will, only delay it.

Bushfires, catastrophic floods, drought, the rise of China are all warning signs. I don't believe in coincidence.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#10
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#10
yea. found that too with more european or british churches, some of that reserved culture that meant nobody was willing to be hospitable beyond a cup of tea and a biscuit

like get your own food, we dont share kind of thing.

if nothing like that is happening in your church, you need to start something.
 
C

ChristianTonyB

Guest
#11
#11
Lanolin said:
yea. found that too with more european or british churches, some of that reserved culture that meant nobody was willing to be hospitable beyond a cup of tea and a biscuit

like get your own food, we dont share kind of thing.

if nothing like that is happening in your church, you need to start something.
Click to expand...
Yep, and good idea. Maybe the church needs to shut the doors on their buildings occasionally on the weekend, and tell people to go and socialise in each others homes, or meet in a park somewhere. I fear many will find themselves at a loss to know where their compatriots live, or what there lifestyles are really like, particularly in the big churches. There's a lot of outward dress up at formal meetings, that don't necessarily reflect the true state of Christians' lives.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.