The One Word That Can Shred Your Family to Pieces

The One Word That Can Shred Your Family to Pieces

The other day, I was led in prayer by a ministry leader with several other people in attendance. The focus was on our commitment to the Lord, a worthy subject, no doubt. However, there was one part of the prayer that I was not in agreement with. I will quote it the best I can:

"Lord, we are willing to leave ANY relationship if it is pushing us away from you."

While this sounds reasonable, I am not sure God would agree. ...

Think about what you are truly saying before you say it. In my example above, the word ANY can have devastating consequences.

The One Word That Can Shred Your Family to Pieces


The other day, I was led in prayer by a ministry leader with several other people in attendance. The focus was on our commitment to the Lord, a worthy subject, no doubt.



However, there was one part of the prayer that I was not in agreement with. I will quote it the best I can:



"Lord, we are willing to leave ANY relationship if it is pushing us away from you."



While this sounds reasonable, I am not sure God would agree. I go back to what Jesus said in Mathew 19:8:



He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so."



We have to assume that Jesus also talked about wives divorcing their husbands. Our Lord and savior states it pretty clearly here:



"Everyone who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery." Luke 16:18



So, for those women bent on playing "musical husbands," all because they cannot seem to find the perfect one, they will be held to account.



I already know the rebuttal coming my way:



Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Cor. 16:14



You can always count on this being the ONE verse that every young wife in the church has memorized. This is her trump card. If that no-good husband of hers doesn't start proving that he can rise to everyone else's expectations, she will play her hand.



For example, according to every pastor in North America, he needs to:

• Provide, not just a little, but everything our society says we all need to have. Not only that, but what everyone else in the church has as well.
• Be a perfect husband, period.
• Be a perfect father, period.
• Be a perfect disciple of Christ, despite the church doors being locked 166 hours out of each week.
• Be the rock of the family, despite having little support from anyone in the church.

Be, be, be. And if you are not, the implicit message to your wife is:



"It's okay, honey, you can leave him. He probably isn't really a Christian, anyway."



As one who has been on the receiving end of having my family ripped to shreds, I am begging for ministry leaders to go quiet. Just stop talking already!



Think about what you are truly saying before you say it. In my example above, the word ANY can have devastating consequences.

Remember that because one woman did you wrong doesn't mean all women have her POV not even close.

First, I would like to say that I value your opinion, and from what I have read in your posts, you are one of the Godliest women I have come across in my lifetime.

With that said, I believe your attempt at shifting the focus on me instead of the underlying issue is misplaced. Simply put, ministry leaders who use the word ANY in this context are wrong.

I used the example of divorce as a way to sever a relationship. But what about our children? Are we to sever the relationship with our children because we think they're holding us back from a Godly existence. Of course not!

Likewise, I do not think it is okay for a ministry leader to say divorce is okay. As it is, young women are presented with enough excuses from our fallen world for leaving their husbands. They do not need another one from our church leaders.

I think in this context I would take it to mean relationships pulling you away from God. Mainly friends. I wouldn't consider a spouse or child. Maybe he needed to be more specific? I would expect more to hear that in a youth group than adults. But thats just my take.

I certainly believe marriage is sacred and not to be taken lightly. My sister has stayed in a marriage that at times has been mentally abusive, if not physically, I do not know.

Any time a marriage ends I believe God grieves.

The One Word That Can Shred Your Family to Pieces


The other day, I was led in prayer by a ministry leader with several other people in attendance. The focus was on our commitment to the Lord, a worthy subject, no doubt.



However, there was one part of the prayer that I was not in agreement with. I will quote it the best I can:



"Lord, we are willing to leave ANY relationship if it is pushing us away from you."



While this sounds reasonable, I am not sure God would agree. I go back to what Jesus said in Mathew 19:8:



He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so."



We have to assume that Jesus also talked about wives divorcing their husbands. Our Lord and savior states it pretty clearly here:



"Everyone who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery." Luke 16:18



So, for those women bent on playing "musical husbands," all because they cannot seem to find the perfect one, they will be held to account.



I already know the rebuttal coming my way:



Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Cor. 16:14



You can always count on this being the ONE verse that every young wife in the church has memorized. This is her trump card. If that no-good husband of hers doesn't start proving that he can rise to everyone else's expectations, she will play her hand.



For example, according to every pastor in North America, he needs to:

• Provide, not just a little, but everything our society says we all need to have. Not only that, but what everyone else in the church has as well.
• Be a perfect husband, period.
• Be a perfect father, period.
• Be a perfect disciple of Christ, despite the church doors being locked 166 hours out of each week.
• Be the rock of the family, despite having little support from anyone in the church.

Be, be, be. And if you are not, the implicit message to your wife is:



"It's okay, honey, you can leave him. He probably isn't really a Christian, anyway."



As one who has been on the receiving end of having my family ripped to shreds, I am begging for ministry leaders to go quiet. Just stop talking already!



Think about what you are truly saying before you say it. In my example above, the word ANY can have devastating consequences.

Okay, so I think we are on the same page, at least. Ministry leaders have to be careful. That's all I am trying to convey.

That's a whole different story, altogether. Physical and mental abuse is never to be tolerated, and I would agree with at least seeking counseling as an ultimatum.

What I'm talking about is ending the marriage simply because you feel your spouse is not "Christian enough." Satan is telling you these lies to break you up, and unfortunately, too many in our congregations are buying into it.

We have to remember that Satan is behind every divorce, and we should not be too quick to judge either spouse.

Maybe the ministry leader was alluding to their own relationship. A subtle implication for their own spouse to consider.

I never considered that. It's an interesting thought, though. That would be considered passive-aggressive, wouldn't it?

You can always count on this being the ONE verse that every young wife in the church has memorized. This is her trump card. If that no-good husband of hers doesn't start proving that he can rise to everyone else's expectations, she will play her hand.

You referred to the person leading the prayer as a ministry leader and not the Pastor. I would hope the Pastor would not concur with that prayer but I would ask him.

That sounds very harsh, Every young wife? Sorry, but you sound like you may have had a bad experience with someone but that does not mean every woman thinks like that.

I hate to see all she has gone through, but all I can do is be there until she feels released to go.

I have honestly never encountered this. What would make one not Christian enough. Is this a church you attended or more than one place?

If I had marriage issues I don't know who I would go to. I find the church has no idea about counseling. And I wouldn't want to go to a secular counselor. So far I haven't had the need. But sure don't know where I could go if we did.

But, really, if you're in a marriage this is actively suppressing and discouraging your walk, and having a real affect, is it where God wants a person to stay? Does God want your obedience about marriage to be so stringent if it leads to the collapse of your faith all together? Which takes priority?

The One Word That Can Shred Your Family to Pieces


The other day, I was led in prayer by a ministry leader with several other people in attendance. The focus was on our commitment to the Lord, a worthy subject, no doubt.



However, there was one part of the prayer that I was not in agreement with. I will quote it the best I can:



"Lord, we are willing to leave ANY relationship if it is pushing us away from you."



While this sounds reasonable, I am not sure God would agree. I go back to what Jesus said in Mathew 19:8:



He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so."



We have to assume that Jesus also talked about wives divorcing their husbands. Our Lord and savior states it pretty clearly here:



"Everyone who divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery, and the one who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery." Luke 16:18



So, for those women bent on playing "musical husbands," all because they cannot seem to find the perfect one, they will be held to account.



I already know the rebuttal coming my way:



Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Cor. 16:14



You can always count on this being the ONE verse that every young wife in the church has memorized. This is her trump card. If that no-good husband of hers doesn't start proving that he can rise to everyone else's expectations, she will play her hand.



For example, according to every pastor in North America, he needs to:

• Provide, not just a little, but everything our society says we all need to have. Not only that, but what everyone else in the church has as well.
• Be a perfect husband, period.
• Be a perfect father, period.
• Be a perfect disciple of Christ, despite the church doors being locked 166 hours out of each week.
• Be the rock of the family, despite having little support from anyone in the church.

Be, be, be. And if you are not, the implicit message to your wife is:



"It's okay, honey, you can leave him. He probably isn't really a Christian, anyway."



As one who has been on the receiving end of having my family ripped to shreds, I am begging for ministry leaders to go quiet. Just stop talking already!



Think about what you are truly saying before you say it. In my example above, the word ANY can have devastating consequences.

The thing with your statements is that you are talking about divorce, but at least two of the verses posted aren't about divorce, but about remarriage.

Just because a person gets separated or divorced, doesn't mean they are out looking for the next conquest. They could be looking to repair their relationship with the Lord. They could be escaping abuse, or they could be trying to get sober, among other reasons,

And for this matter, just because one separates doesn't mean they will divorce for certain.

I do agree, however, that separation or divorce is a terrible thing, kills marriage and families and should only be pursued in extreme environments.

I also believe it is necessary in some relationships for the protection of all involved, including children. God may hate divorce, but I am fairly certain He would also hate for His beloved children to live in fear, regret, shame and a host of other causes for divorce.

First, I would like to say, as you are a true woman of God, I value your opinion greatly.



I would encourage you not to get into a game of semantics, here. Remarriage means you had to divorce from your first marriage. And since Satan is behind ALL divorces, it is all bad.



To a point, I agree. However, I would encourage you, especially if you have a position of authority in your church, not to rationalize reasons for divorce. Separation for a period of time may be good for a marriage--that's not what I am talking about. I am talking about looking for reasons for a young wife to divorce instead of looking for reasons to stay together. My hope is that pastors and ministry leaders will think first before speaking about ending relationships.



Correct. I think separation for a set period, in certain circumstances, is very good for a marriage.



Yes, and if we can convey that message to married people in the church, instead of loosely telling everyone to end ALL relationships that WE think are not good for us, I think pastors and church leaders would have fewer divorces to deal with. We can then move on to making true disciples and evangelists instead of mere spectators.



Again, I agree with you here only a little. It's the "whole host of other causes for divorce" that I am worried about. In God's perfect plan, there is absolutely NO cause for divorce. That's because God is an absolutist; His perfect moral law still stands, even for those who follow Christ in 2022.

I admit I do not have all the answers. So, if you can set aside a few minutes, I would encourage you to read this informative article on the subject. It was written by a Christian counselor who has to deal with this issue every day.

People often use the cover of prayer to air their grievances and complain because it’s difficult to confront someone over their prayer to God.

Now you’re here complaining about it. Let me guess, this ministry leader’s prayer are always this annoying?