What Kind of Daughter Can God Trust With One of His Sons?

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What is the most important quality a woman can have before marriage?

  • Wealthy

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Bad bae status

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Popular

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    9
  • Poll closed .

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
369
63
The Garden of Weeden
#24
As far as what is the MOST important thing, I can't say, because every man is different and has different needs.

When it comes to looks, OF COURSE it's important. I don't mean a woman needs to be drop dead gorgeous or anything, but the first thing a man notices will be her appearance, and whether or not he likes that appearance enough to look at her every day for the rest of her life. *Tip for men* Telling a woman he wants to date, that "looks don't matter" to him, isn't comforting. It's insulting, and basically telling her that she's ugly but he likes her personality.....Please just no.

Wealthy only seems to matter to two types of people, one who is already wealthy and wanting to marry a similar status, or one who is looking to become wealthy and wants the short cut. EIther way, neither type deserves a woman of good character, because he will hurt her.

I have no idea what "Bad bae status" means, so I dunno about that one.

Popular is exhausting (I dated a popular dude once back in college. It lasted a couple weeks, and I needed a vacation afterwards. ) Again, that is usually only important to people who are popular and want to be a complementing couple, or someone wanting to climb that popularity ladder.

So we are left with Good Character. That HAS to be important, but more important would be is her character and his character compatible. She can have amazing character, a great sense of humor, and be an amazing woman, but he's a doofus....they aren't going to connect....usually. Never say never, but you get my drift.

To me Love is a choice we make, so choose wisely.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
639
113
#25
Not that it really matters anymore in my own life, but "attractive", as in outwardly attractive, was never a big issue with me. In fact, I was always attracted more to the average looking woman. That said, there are certain inner attributes which I've always found extremely attractive in a woman, but, alas, when I think that I've found the same, then the woman is either already taken or just a good actress.

(The bear turns, sits down on the ground, and opens a jar of honey to solace himself)
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#26
I agree with your assessment, and I certainly wasn't seeking to insinuate otherwise.

Anyhow, I'm glad that you said "many men", and not "all men".

There are some good men out there.
I havent been through them all but theres still time lol
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#27
It's refreshing to hear a woman (or a man) say that because, in my observations, most people are selfish, and they have no real conscience towards God or towards doing his will...especially if his will includes any amount of suffering.
I think suffering leads you to Christ. Thats how most of us met Him right? Because people are tormented in their suffering, its hard to see the rewards part sometimes.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
639
113
#28
I think suffering leads you to Christ. Thats how most of us met Him right? Because people are tormented in their suffering, its hard to see the rewards part sometimes.
I would say that suffering definitely played a part in me coming to Christ. I'd also say that I've suffered plenty since coming to Christ, but now I have a supernatural grace at my disposal to help me endure or overcome it.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#29
I would say that suffering definitely played a part in me coming to Christ. I'd also say that I've suffered plenty since coming to Christ, but now I have a supernatural grace at my disposal to help me endure or overcome it.
OT when did you start identifying as a bear?
 

Willow

Well-known member
Oct 10, 2021
435
403
63
ohio
#30
Well there really isn't enough choices. I would of preferred my son marrying a devoted Christian lady. But instead married a JW with issues with that cult also. Now they both are atheist. I encouraged my son to wait and date, but cannot make your children's choices for them once they are grown.Prayers didn't stop them either. So in the end God has it all in his hands.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
639
113
#31
OT when did you start identifying as a bear?
lol.

You noticed that I sometimes live my life vicariously through my bear photo, did you?

I've always loved animals, and even more so after I became a Christian.

Lions used to be my favorite animal, but, somewhere along the way, grizzly bears became my favorite.

As I mentioned on the "username" thread, this particular photo is my favorite photo in the world in that it always reminds me of the following portion of scripture:

"Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10)

In other words, I see the bear taking pause or standing still as he beholds the glory and the majesty of God.

I do have a pretty good sense of humor, but there's oftentimes some real pain behind my jokes.

As weird as this may sound, and I just mentioned this to another forum member here via PM yesterday, my biggest struggle, which I never expected, is with love.

In other words, contrary to the image that I may sometimes project here, I'm truly a very loving and caring man with an enormously huge heart.

In line with the OP, it's just hard when you have that much love to give and no one to share it with.

That truly is my biggest struggle.

I'd rather face an arena full of Goliaths than to have to deal with that, but such is life.

I need to get up for work in 6 hours, so it's time for this bear to find a soft spot on the ground to lie.

Good night.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#32
lol.

You noticed that I sometimes live my life vicariously through my bear photo, did you?

I've always loved animals, and even more so after I became a Christian.

Lions used to be my favorite animal, but, somewhere along the way, grizzly bears became my favorite.

As I mentioned on the "username" thread, this particular photo is my favorite photo in the world in that it always reminds me of the following portion of scripture:

"Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalm 46:10)

In other words, I see the bear taking pause or standing still as he beholds the glory and the majesty of God.

I do have a pretty good sense of humor, but there's oftentimes some real pain behind my jokes.

As weird as this may sound, and I just mentioned this to another forum member here via PM yesterday, my biggest struggle, which I never expected, is with love.

In other words, contrary to the image that I may sometimes project here, I'm truly a very loving and caring man with an enormously huge heart.

In line with the OP, it's just hard when you have that much love to give and no one to share it with.

That truly is my biggest struggle.

I'd rather face an arena full of Goliaths than to have to deal with that, but such is life.

I need to get up for work in 6 hours, so it's time for this bear to find a soft spot on the ground to lie.

Good night.
From an outsiders pov your struggle doesnt look like its love. You have given love and have received it. You havent stopped loving because your marriage ended right? So its working as it should. :)
Yes I always do a double take when I see your avatar pic. Not the usual bear pic youd normally see:)Sleep well.
 

seoulsearch

OutWrite Trouble
May 23, 2009
14,943
4,584
113
#33
I think suffering leads you to Christ. Thats how most of us met Him right? Because people are tormented in their suffering, its hard to see the rewards part sometimes.
The reason I'm so passionate about this is because I once very much believed if I just tried as hard as I could to be good, to follow all the Christian principles I was raised with, I too would find the one God had for me and have that blissful, prayer and worship filled unicorn fantasy Christian marriage.

It didn't quite work out that way.

Now I'm certainly not blaming God, as I made plenty of my own bad and just plain stubborn choices.

But once God got me through, I asked Him to help me live and believe more realistically, and to try to help anyone who might agree do the same.

People bring up the story of Job all the time.

But what I never hear about, and what hit me most about his story was when he told his wife, "Shall we accept good from God, but not bad?"

I try to ask God to help me to better and more faithfully do both, whether the bad is just life, my own fault (I ask for help in making better decisions,) or God allowing something don't like or understand.

I still kick and scream all the way, but I'm trying to work on that.
 

Amanuensis

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2021
1,457
460
83
#34
God is most likely going to tell her to go by what Paul said in 1 Cor 7. You will be much happier if you follow Paul's example.

I am sure that is what He would say.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#35
The reason I'm so passionate about this is because I once very much believed if I just tried as hard as I could to be good, to follow all the Christian principles I was raised with, I too would find the one God had for me and have that blissful, prayer and worship filled unicorn fantasy Christian marriage.

It didn't quite work out that way.

Now I'm certainly not blaming God, as I made plenty of my own bad and just plain stubborn choices.

But once God got me through, I asked Him to help me live and believe more realistically, and to try to help anyone who might agree do the same.

People bring up the story of Job all the time.

But what I never hear about, and what hit me most about his story was when he told his wife, "Shall we accept good from God, but not bad?"

I try to ask God to help me to better and more faithfully do both, whether the bad is just life, my own fault (I ask for help in making better decisions,) or God allowing something don't like or understand.

I still kick and scream all the way, but I'm trying to work on that.
Really enjoying the way you are processing things Seoulsearch, it has helped me with my understanding of a Christian marriage as well.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
639
113
#36
From an outsiders pov your struggle doesnt look like its love.
Well, it is, nonetheless.

All of my bad and/or painful experiences with women aside, there were some good experiences too, and I still believe that women are the crowning achievement of God's creation.

Aside from my salvation experience and the times spent with my children, my happiest recollection in life was when I was walking hand in hand with a young woman that I loved in a park on an Autumn night back when I was around 21 or 22 years old. I wasn't even a Christian yet, but everything in the world just seemed right at that moment in time.

Anyhow, when I meditate upon the reality that the whole male/female dating or marriage thing won't be available on the other side of eternity, it's just difficult to say an eternal good-bye to something as potentially beautiful as that.

As I've sincerely said before, although true love has eluded me throughout most of my life, I'm still thrilled whenever I see anybody else find it for themselves.

For the women here who may have been mistreated by men throughout their lives, as a man myself, I apologize for what they've done to you. There are still some good men out there. If you're ever privileged to find one, then just love him. My guess is that that is all he will ever truly desire from you. Believe it or not, some men actually have hearts.

I've bored you all enough already with my personal musings.

Have a blessed day in the Lord.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#37
Well, it is, nonetheless.
I didnt mean it like you dont know your own self kind of way. I mean it in a what is this thing called love kind of way. Does the bible differentiate with the word love?
Anyhow, when I meditate upon the reality that the whole male/female dating or marriage thing won't be available on the other side of eternity, it's just difficult to say an eternal good-bye to something as potentially beautiful as that. Do you think that it could cause you to take your focus off God?
As I've sincerely said before, although true love has eluded me throughout most of my life, I'm still thrilled whenever I see anybody else find it for themselves. This romantic love might not be this true love. It might just be the love of Christ.

For the women here who may have been mistreated by men throughout their lives, as a man myself, I apologize for what they've done to you. There are still some good men out there. If you're ever privileged to find one, then just love him. My guess is that that is all he will ever truly desire from you. Believe it or not, some men actually have hearts.
I dont think women really believe all men are evil. They had to have fallen in love with something at first.
 

Live4Him3

Jesus is Lord
May 19, 2022
1,383
639
113
#38
Do you think that it could cause you to take your focus off God?
No.

It's actually my focus upon God that has brought me to this place.

This romantic love might not be this true love. It might just be the love of Christ.
Marriage was ordained by God to be a natural reflection of the spiritual union between Christ and the church.

The love between a man and his wife and Christ and the church are Divinely intertwined...or, at least, they should be.

Anyhow, I've truly said enough.

Have a blessed day.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
#39
Its going to be turned into a movie

IMG_1480.JPG
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,716
2,307
113
Mesa, AZ
#40
Goodness, I apologize for all the typos in my last post. I just tried to reread it and what a train wreck!/QUOTE]

I can't even show my face in public because I know you, Seoul. I'm ... so ashamed. Now I know how Sylvester's son felt...