Let me know what you think about the bible and marriage

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#1
The idea of waiting until you are 25–30 years of age is NOT Biblical. The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.

we should NEVER read the Bible from the perspective of a modern-day American. Why? God is NOT an American, and American values are not necessarily Biblical values. Just because something is very American, that does not mean that the Bible approves of it.

This is why I say, study to show yourself approved. You have to look at the verses, the history and culture behind them.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,811
2,801
113
#2
The idea of waiting until you are 25–30 years of age is NOT Biblical. The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.

we should NEVER read the Bible from the perspective of a modern-day American. Why? God is NOT an American, and American values are not necessarily Biblical values. Just because something is very American, that does not mean that the Bible approves of it.

This is why I say, study to show yourself approved. You have to look at the verses, the history and culture behind them.
The same can be said of most Western, supposedly Christian nations. It's not that early marriage is not allowed. Since fornication is no longer considered a sin, even among many Christians, there is little incentive to marry. I don't know what it will take to reverse this cultural shift.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#3
The same can be said of most Western, supposedly Christian nations. It's not that early marriage is not allowed. Since fornication is no longer considered a sin, even among many Christians, there is little incentive to marry. I don't know what it will take to reverse this cultural shift.
I agree, but most churches I know of, are not pushing marriage. Many are pushing the idea of purity and keeping yourself separate. The opposite of what Paul and Jesus taught. If we went back to pushing marriage, much of this might stop. It worked in the time of Jesus.
 

Gideon300

Well-known member
Mar 18, 2021
4,811
2,801
113
#4
I agree, but most churches I know of, are not pushing marriage. Many are pushing the idea of purity and keeping yourself separate. The opposite of what Paul and Jesus taught. If we went back to pushing marriage, much of this might stop. It worked in the time of Jesus.
Agree completely. It's a foolish notion. Children should grow up at least knowing the fundamentals of Christianity. I talk to people who have no idea. They've never heard of Adam and Eve, they don't know about sin, salvation, Jesus or anything to do with Christianity. Christians at least have the opportunity to teach their children.

I get the impression that many think it's pointless to marry and raise a family because the world is such a bad place. Well, we are supposed to be salt and light. The world won't get better if Christians hide themselves away. We could and should be an example to to the world. Noah was preaching right up until the door to the ark was sealed.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#5
Agree completely. It's a foolish notion. Children should grow up at least knowing the fundamentals of Christianity. I talk to people who have no idea. They've never heard of Adam and Eve, they don't know about sin, salvation, Jesus or anything to do with Christianity. Christians at least have the opportunity to teach their children.

I get the impression that many think it's pointless to marry and raise a family because the world is such a bad place. Well, we are supposed to be salt and light. The world won't get better if Christians hide themselves away. We could and should be an example to to the world. Noah was preaching right up until the door to the ark was sealed.
I am surprised at some Pastors. I remember talking to one woman at church and a Pastor told her to wait on the LORD for a spouse. Let the LORD pick your spouse. I showed her Numbers 36:6 "This is what the LORD commands for Zelophehad’s daughters: They may marry anyone they please as long as they marry within their father’s tribal clan. " She got a big smile on her face and said she would show that to the Pastor. I told her, don't let him get around this by telling you to give it back to the LORD. That isn't what the verse says.

I've heard Christian couples say, they were going to let the LORD decide how many children they would have. After 5 kids they realize they made a big mistake. But it was too late.
 

TheNarrowPath

Well-known member
Jul 17, 2022
1,012
546
113
#6
I didnt think of that as being Biblical. I thought it was a maturity/experience thing?
I have a niece turned 21. She has a boyfriend aged 20. They have been going out a year. Her Dad (my brother) is a former Christian, her mother is the daughter of a Christian minister. The good thing is that my niece told her boyfriend that she is a Christian. Her boyfriend is on the same path as her, they want to attend church, they want to learn more about God. I feel like its not my place to give them advice because Im not their parent, Im just happy so far she has a good head on her shoulders and is interested in coming to church.
 

Evmur

Well-known member
Feb 28, 2021
4,856
2,515
113
London
christianchat.com
#7
The idea of waiting until you are 25–30 years of age is NOT Biblical. The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.

we should NEVER read the Bible from the perspective of a modern-day American. Why? God is NOT an American, and American values are not necessarily Biblical values. Just because something is very American, that does not mean that the Bible approves of it.

This is why I say, study to show yourself approved. You have to look at the verses, the history and culture behind them.
totally true

The church should have thought about some kind of arranged marriage centuries ago ... doesn't have to be as rigid as Asian countries ... the Jewish arranged marriage was not totally rigid.

Probably wise parents do kind of manouvre their kids ....
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#8
totally true

The church should have thought about some kind of arranged marriage centuries ago ... doesn't have to be as rigid as Asian countries ... the Jewish arranged marriage was not totally rigid.

Probably wise parents do kind of manouvre their kids ....

Actually the bible is against arranged marriages. Kings were warned not to marry for money or power. In the past arranged marriages were loveless marriages.
 

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
Jul 18, 2017
24,167
12,763
113
#9
...if we allowed early marriage...
Well who is blocking anyone from early marriage? Individuals must take full responsibility for themselves.

The Bible does not indicate any particular ideal age for marriage, but common sense would dictate that at the very least the potential mates should have some maturity, and be prepared to handle the responsibilities of having a family and supporting it. So the earlier marriages could be between 20 and 25. For Christians the Bible also makes it clear that Christians should not marry unbelievers. In fact, all those planning to marry should get some spiritual counseling before they finalize their plans.

The other issues you have raised are not necessarily related to delayed marriages, but to a societal disregard for the meaning and sanctity of marriage. In Western societies there is a hidden assumption that divorce can follow marriage "just like that" if things don't "work out". This is not true for traditional cultures. But many Christians have also fallen into this trap, since there may not have been any solid Bible teaching on marriage and the home.
 

Hazelelponi

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2019
609
397
63
USA
#10
The idea of waiting until you are 25–30 years of age is NOT Biblical. The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.

we should NEVER read the Bible from the perspective of a modern-day American. Why? God is NOT an American, and American values are not necessarily Biblical values. Just because something is very American, that does not mean that the Bible approves of it.

This is why I say, study to show yourself approved. You have to look at the verses, the history and culture behind them.
Actually, even in Biblical days many men waited for marriage until they were a little older and more established. (25 or so I would think)

It was the women who were most likely to get married younger.
 

Lucy-Pevensie

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2017
9,261
5,618
113
#11
I didnt think of that as being Biblical. I thought it was a maturity/experience thing?
I have a niece turned 21. She has a boyfriend aged 20. They have been going out a year. Her Dad (my brother) is a former Christian, her mother is the daughter of a Christian minister. The good thing is that my niece told her boyfriend that she is a Christian. Her boyfriend is on the same path as her, they want to attend church, they want to learn more about God. I feel like its not my place to give them advice because Im not their parent, Im just happy so far she has a good head on her shoulders and is interested in coming to church.
By all means give them a prayer covering. You can do that without them thinking you are interfering. You could even
tell them you are praying for them. Based on what you've said about them, they would be likely to welcome that.
 

Lucy-Pevensie

Senior Member
Dec 20, 2017
9,261
5,618
113
#12
totally true

The church should have thought about some kind of arranged marriage centuries ago ... doesn't have to be as rigid as Asian countries ... the Jewish arranged marriage was not totally rigid.

Probably wise parents do kind of manouvre their kids ....
I'm trying to imagine my dad arranging a marriages for us when we were young. :LOL:
He didn't want boys getting anywhere near us.
 
J

Jackieboy100

Guest
#13
The idea of waiting until you are 25–30 years of age is NOT Biblical. The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.
No it is not biblical and that is the case because even the Christian dominant nations of the world are not governed by the ordinaces or statutes of the Bible. National constitutions are written by men and not God and they are being amended from time to time, all to suit whatever the present dominant views are. In other words, what the most powerful men (and now some women) want or feel will benefit them is what they will push. That is why many practices, including the act of marrying have evolved in accordance with mordernization, which was a major paradigm shift from what was recorded in the Bible.
 

p_rehbein

Senior Member
Sep 4, 2013
30,095
6,479
113
#14
The idea of waiting until you are 25–30 years of age is NOT Biblical. The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.
This is your assumption only. As such, it is moot at best, and misinformed at worst.

Give me the age Adam and Eve were when they were "married" please.....
 

Snacks

Well-known member
Feb 10, 2022
1,410
773
113
#16
The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.
America and its marxist politicians:
abortion on demand, 37 genders, participation trophies, punish ingenuity, reward complacency, open borders, soft on crime, stolen elections, attacks against Christianity . . .

I don’t see early marriage making a comeback anytime soon or the desire for it to happen. But I agree with you that godly marriages would help alleviate many of our problems.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#17
This is your assumption only. As such, it is moot at best, and misinformed at worst.

Give me the age Adam and Eve were when they were "married" please.....
The age of Adam and Eve has no meaning here. Marrying earlier would have an impact on this. At the time of Jesus peoAfter instituting a $1.5 trillion tax cut and signing off on a $675 billion budget for the Department of Defense, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Tuesday that the only way to lower the record-high federal deficit would be to cut entitlement programs like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.
This is your assumption only. As such, it is moot at best, and misinformed at worst.

Give me the age Adam and Eve were when they were "married" please.....
The age of Adam and Eve does not matter.
 

JohnB

Well-known member
Jul 31, 2022
2,078
456
83
Calif
#18
Well who is blocking anyone from early marriage? Individuals must take full responsibility for themselves.

The Bible does not indicate any particular ideal age for marriage, but common sense would dictate that at the very least the potential mates should have some maturity, and be prepared to handle the responsibilities of having a family and supporting it. So the earlier marriages could be between 20 and 25. For Christians the Bible also makes it clear that Christians should not marry unbelievers. In fact, all those planning to marry should get some spiritual counseling before they finalize their plans.

The other issues you have raised are not necessarily related to delayed marriages, but to a societal disregard for the meaning and sanctity of marriage. In Western societies there is a hidden assumption that divorce can follow marriage "just like that" if things don't "work out". This is not true for traditional cultures. But many Christians have also fallen into this trap, since there may not have been any solid Bible teaching on marriage and the home.
Raging hormones do not care about anyone's biblical view. it's a fact of life and in the time of Jesus they handled it right. Get married young. Just because two people are believers, do not make them a match.
 

Dino246

Senior Member
Jun 30, 2015
24,555
13,320
113
#19
The idea of waiting until you are 25–30 years of age is NOT Biblical. The modern American practice of delaying marriage until 30 has led to an epidemic of fornication, relationship breakups, broken hearts, STD's, wedlock births, and other disastrous problems that could be easily solved if we allowed early marriage.
While your first sentence is sound, your second is very much misguided.

Delayed marriage does not lead to any of these, necessarily, and certainly isn't the only cause. The root problem is sin, and the only solution is the Holy Spirit changing one's life and motivations from inside the redeemed heart. Early marriage is no solution when the participants are still steeped in sinful habits and patterns. The only difference with earlier marriage would be more people who are suffering in unhappy marriages...as they did when the average age of marriage was much lower. The solution is people getting their hearts right with God and their relationships right with people when they are young. Sadly, many parents haven't a clue themselves, so they are unable to teach, model, and foster such things.

By the way, "wedlock births" is missing a couple of words. Wedlock is exactly what you recommend; the phrase is "out-of-wedlock births". ;)

we should NEVER read the Bible from the perspective of a modern-day American. Why? God is NOT an American, and American values are not necessarily Biblical values. Just because something is very American, that does not mean that the Bible approves of it.
Agreed, wholeheartedly.

This is why I say, study to show yourself approved. You have to look at the verses, the history and culture behind them.
Generally I would agree with you. However, in this case, I don't. One does not need to "study" the texts on marriage to follow the wisdom taught in them; one only need obey: don't be sexually active outside of marriage. :)
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,247
25,716
113
#20
I've heard Christian couples say, they were going to let the LORD decide how many children
they would have. After 5 kids they realize they made a big mistake. But it was too late.
How was it a mistake? And, too late for what? :unsure: