Are there many true Christians to date

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#41
mm well, obviously you may not find many christians hanging out in bars...!

anyway. I think they are rare

pastors kids...think again. Some end up being rebellious, in fact PKs sort of have a reputation for it. I always hearing endless dramas and trouble caused by PK (daughters perhaps more than sons as daughters are under HUGE pressure to be 'perfect'. )
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,173
113
#42
people here seem to think that christians are just waiting around hoping for a date.

Not so, in fact most genuine christians dont care about that. They are busy spreading the gospel
 

stilllearning

Well-known member
Oct 4, 2021
495
265
63
#44
My sons find it difficult to find true christians sold out for Jesus
I reckon in response to your question, Are there many true Christians to date. I would have to say that is totally subjective, based upon what each individual would consider or define a true Christian.

Not saying or implying your sons do this by any means. However, anecdotally have observed that many folks eliminate others from the dating pool by their sometimes lofty criteria. Such as a woman may want a man who is over six foot, which is only about 15% of American males. Or want a man that makes over 100k a year again that is just a small percentage.

Men do it as well as they may only want a woman who may pass a certain beauty standard or weigh less than a certain amount or wear a particular dress size. So every criteria is going to eliminate possible prospects. That in and of itself is not bad as it can eliminate unhealthy relationships, but it can become bad when our criteria gets into the unreasonable spectrum.

Interesting on some of our criteria, lets take height for example. While only 15% of men are that height in the US. Of CEO's of fortune 500 companies 58% of them are that height. Which God ran up against that and had something to say when Samuel wanted to anoint a king based upon criteria of physical appearance. He said man judges the outside while God judges the heart.

I have oft heard from Christian woman that they want a Godly man a man that will have Godly leadership. So I often wonder and this goes for women as well as men. If what the problem is that we have been influenced by the world we live in. By which we live in a world of instant gratification and have it now. Drive thru windows, fast food, online ordering with express delivery. We live in a have it your way and get it now society.

So I often wonder has that influenced our mentality to believe that we have that same perspective when it comes to romantic relationships. Are we just waiting around at the finish line wanting the winners? When folks who have been married a lifetime are asked how did they do it. They answer such things as communication, never went to bed mad, and etc.

Undoubtedly each of their answers really is saying the same thing, we put the work in. Has our modern world crept in and now we all no longer want to put the work in but all want just the finished product? Is the problem with us as Christians is that we look on the outside and only want finished products instead of two becoming one and building a finished product together. Have we taken upon us the worlds mindset of wanting the finished product instead of a attitude of lets take us two raw materials and together put the work in and mold us into a finished product we can be proud of and God looks down and says it is good.

Have we eliminated possible prospects by merely looking for what is already done instead of being willing to do what needs to be done? So I would say for us men to find a woman who has a real heart for just wanting a Godly man. A woman who is willing to work with you and not against you. Two people working together it is my belief will find a way to iron out rough patches and will end up with a more customized personalized spouse of the one they truly wanted. As well as finding out along the way some of our expectations and criteria we had when we began was rather silly and unreasonable. I believe this will work for both the man and woman if they are willing to work together. So I have to wonder is the problem today as Christians when it comes to dating is that we want what is already built instead of doing the building.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,171
698
113
#45
I reckon in response to your question, Are there many true Christians to date. I would have to say that is totally subjective, based upon what each individual would consider or define a true Christian.

Not saying or implying your sons do this by any means. However, anecdotally have observed that many folks eliminate others from the dating pool by their sometimes lofty criteria. Such as a woman may want a man who is over six foot, which is only about 15% of American males. Or want a man that makes over 100k a year again that is just a small percentage.

Men do it as well as they may only want a woman who may pass a certain beauty standard or weigh less than a certain amount or wear a particular dress size. So every criteria is going to eliminate possible prospects. That in and of itself is not bad as it can eliminate unhealthy relationships, but it can become bad when our criteria gets into the unreasonable spectrum.

Interesting on some of our criteria, lets take height for example. While only 15% of men are that height in the US. Of CEO's of fortune 500 companies 58% of them are that height. Which God ran up against that and had something to say when Samuel wanted to anoint a king based upon criteria of physical appearance. He said man judges the outside while God judges the heart.

I have oft heard from Christian woman that they want a Godly man a man that will have Godly leadership. So I often wonder and this goes for women as well as men. If what the problem is that we have been influenced by the world we live in. By which we live in a world of instant gratification and have it now. Drive thru windows, fast food, online ordering with express delivery. We live in a have it your way and get it now society.

So I often wonder has that influenced our mentality to believe that we have that same perspective when it comes to romantic relationships. Are we just waiting around at the finish line wanting the winners? When folks who have been married a lifetime are asked how did they do it. They answer such things as communication, never went to bed mad, and etc.

Undoubtedly each of their answers really is saying the same thing, we put the work in. Has our modern world crept in and now we all no longer want to put the work in but all want just the finished product? Is the problem with us as Christians is that we look on the outside and only want finished products instead of two becoming one and building a finished product together. Have we taken upon us the worlds mindset of wanting the finished product instead of a attitude of lets take us two raw materials and together put the work in and mold us into a finished product we can be proud of and God looks down and says it is good.

Have we eliminated possible prospects by merely looking for what is already done instead of being willing to do what needs to be done? So I would say for us men to find a woman who has a real heart for just wanting a Godly man. A woman who is willing to work with you and not against you. Two people working together it is my belief will find a way to iron out rough patches and will end up with a more customized personalized spouse of the one they truly wanted. As well as finding out along the way some of our expectations and criteria we had when we began was rather silly and unreasonable. I believe this will work for both the man and woman if they are willing to work together. So I have to wonder is the problem today as Christians when it comes to dating is that we want what is already built instead of doing the building.
Amen, well put.
 
Oct 23, 2022
74
20
8
#46
A problem with todays dating is that Christian woman want a man with experiance. Which is understandable. Being a virgin is a turnoff for christian women in todays world. Its some sort of proof that he is not "good enough". They will think thoughts such as "why did he never marry? something must be wrong with him!".
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,799
8,103
113
#47
A problem with todays dating is that Christian woman want a man with experiance. Which is understandable. Being a virgin is a turnoff for christian women in todays world. Its some sort of proof that he is not "good enough". They will think thoughts such as "why did he never marry? something must be wrong with him!".
Howdy KJ91 and welcome to the forum.

I dunno... Maybe something IS wrong with me. But I never have seen much point in chasing girls. I'm 44 now and still rather happy with life.

But yeah, people do tend to assume something is wrong with you if no girl has snatched you up yet. :rolleyes:
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,171
698
113
#48
A problem with todays dating is that Christian woman want a man with experiance. Which is understandable. Being a virgin is a turnoff for christian women in todays world. Its some sort of proof that he is not "good enough". They will think thoughts such as "why did he never marry? something must be wrong with him!".
Thats how the world thinks too, scripture says your not supposed to do that until after your married, its a symbol of honor and virtue. Plus plus a pastor has to be a husband of one wife, so he should be saving himself for marrage.

Its like my exgirlfriend said, when you sleep with someone you sleep with their past too.
 
Oct 23, 2022
74
20
8
#49
Howdy KJ91 and welcome to the forum.

I dunno... Maybe something IS wrong with me. But I never have seen much point in chasing girls. I'm 44 now and still rather happy with life.

But yeah, people do tend to assume something is wrong with you if no girl has snatched you up yet. :rolleyes:
Thank you Lynx.

Well, guys are supposed to take charge and make the contact, so i guess thats why you never been with a woman.

A guy can be virgin for different reasons. Both good and bad reasons. But christian women will always assume its because of the wrong reasons. And hence, the virgin guys keep staying virgins. Its a bad cycle, never ending.
 
Oct 23, 2022
74
20
8
#50
Thats how the world thinks too, scripture says your not supposed to do that until after your married, its a symbol of honor and virtue. Plus plus a pastor has to be a husband of one wife, so he should be saving himself for marrage.

Its like my exgirlfriend said, when you sleep with someone you sleep with their past too.
Yes if you never found a woman it might be because God saved you for the right one or you yourself waited for the right one. But christian women today will assume the worst, they will think no woman ever wanted you, something is wrong with you etc.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,171
698
113
#51
Thank you Lynx.

Well, guys are supposed to take charge and make the contact, so i guess thats why you never been with a woman.

A guy can be virgin for different reasons. Both good and bad reasons. But christian women will always assume its because of the wrong reasons. And hence, the virgin guys keep staying virgins. Its a bad cycle, never ending.
It's sad and unfortunate, but that's the price to pay for a Christless world, it always gets worse never better
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,171
698
113
#52
Yes if you never found a woman it might be because God saved you for the right one or you yourself waited for the right one. But christian women today will assume the worst, they will think no woman ever wanted you, something is wrong with you etc.
If a Christian woman thinks that way than perhaps she is only Christian in lip and not in heart.
 

Missie

New member
Oct 18, 2022
26
16
3
#53
mm well, obviously you may not find many christians hanging out in bars...!

anyway. I think they are rare

pastors kids...think again. Some end up being rebellious, in fact PKs sort of have a reputation for it. I always hearing endless dramas and trouble caused by PK (daughters perhaps more than sons as daughters are under HUGE pressure to be 'perfect'. )
I think I have had a different experience. I am divorced but it was totalky my fault. I grew up in church and I knew better because I knew my husband was not saved. I did what I wanted to do. Since my divorce I have ran toward God with everything I have. I have seen our youth group run after God. My preachers son is hitting the streets doing ministry and preaching when asked. I am surrounded by a group of young people that are truly in love with God. That makes the difference. It doesn’t matter if you are a preachers kid or if you sit on the back row. What matters is your relationship with God! Trust me people are known by the fruits they bare. I think many times we compromise with things we know aren’t right just so we do not have to be alone. Don’t settle! I deal with broken women all time and I tell them you have got to get to a point to where you say He is enough! The Bible says to seek Him first and everything else will be added unto you. You also have to be ok if God says no. He is enough! The joy of the Lord is my strength! My joy does not come from man. I am not trying to be harsh. I know for myself I always had to have someone. I let my mate define me. I had to wake up and realize that I am the bride of Christ. My focus turned to wanting to see souls saved instead of focusing on a mate.
 

Gojira

Well-known member
Jul 20, 2021
5,668
2,295
113
Mesa, AZ
#54
A problem with todays dating is that Christian woman want a man with experiance. Which is understandable. Being a virgin is a turnoff for christian women in todays world. Its some sort of proof that he is not "good enough". They will think thoughts such as "why did he never marry? something must be wrong with him!".
That sounds like something a worldly woman would be concerned about. If a born again lady wants a man who'd sexually been around, not exactly sure where she is in her walk.
 

I_am_Canadian

Senior Member
Dec 8, 2014
2,171
698
113
#56
You echoed my words... before I said them.
Just another useless tallent lol its a great tallent but It will not do any good helping me find work to get off social assistance lol