Should women pursue men?

Questions reveal a lot about us.

If you think BOTH sexes aren't wanting to meet each other, think again. The question is, what are you seeking and why? Are you pursuing a relationship with another person in Jesus for fellowship and mutuality? Do you immediately want to "pair off" and be a "thing"? Are you lonely? Do you have lots of friends of the opposite sex?

We are, Paul says, "..not to be squeezed into the world's mould..." (Romans 12:2a). So what does that look like when it comes to asking others to relate? Lust is the predominant sentiment in the world and has made significant progress in the North American church, IMO. Look at the stats for how many Christian leaders can't stop lusting online or in real life.

Too many North American Christians have the emotional maturity of 13-year-olds (look at the stats gathered by Christian professionals like George Barna and Dr. Jim Wilder). How can we expect they will act maturely with the opposite sex? Look at our marriage retention rates compared to the world system! The problem is we are immature spiritually and emotionally.

Maturity emotionally is based on being loved well and synchronizing with others. Does that sound like you? Can you return from difficult positive or negative emotions quickly and deftly, or do you behave in ways you often need to "clean up"? These are signs you have areas of emotional maturity in which you are stuck. Do you characterize your relationships as based on love or fear, mainly?

If you have the kinds of issues I am describing above, chances are that you may not have the emotional maturity you need to be successful in a marriage relationship. If that's true, you need people who can help because they have that maturity. These people are referred to in the Bible as Elders. And before we jump passed the term "elder," let's make sure we know what an elder is.

An Elder has raised his kids to maturity. They are the husband/wife of one wife/husband. They have time, skill and inclination to help their community grow in emotional maturity. Look at what Paul says to Timothy about needing to pick elders as a young leader. These people don't need a title; they attract attention because they know how to live maturely. You often DON'T see them beetling off to the south in the colder times of the year. Instead, they stick around to support their community.

So yes, seek friends to relate to, and even more, seek people that are "upstream of you in terms of spiritual and emotional maturity so that you can be ready for a possible marriage relationship.

children grow up

so why are you not finding one
you know where a lot of children are...school. Its incredibly noisy. Go help in one.

Also children eventually grow up and leave home. I just saw a thread on CC Family that someone was asking how do I kick children out of the house. ?!

Your 1 up on me lol, Ive never read the book

It was #1 on the New York Times best seller list for 41 straight weeks. Written by Eric Segal. Very short book. You could probably read the entire book in 2 or 3 hours.

I have, shes looking to get out of prison next year. But I am also realistic in realizing that their is a possibility we may never meet in person because shes in the states.

Plus I am stuck trying to fix my life and all the mistakes my parents made raising me.

My parents never taught me how to have healthy relatiinships, or to build and maintain them. I gotta figure this out on my own.

My parents raised me to sit infront of the tv all day and not do anything so I have to learn to find and hold a job on my own.

My parents never gave me structure or discipline, so when I make changes to improve myself I always fall back to old ways.

The problem is that I know I have things to work on and fix but I know rhat I cant do it alone either.

It was #1 on the New York Times best seller list for 41 straight weeks. Written by Eric Segal. Very short book. You could probably read the entire book in 2 or 3 hours.

oh ok
I dont know if you kidding me or not.

No I'm not kidding, I've been writing her for 4 years in a women's maximum correctional facility in Tallahassee Florida.

I would be fine making the first step for a shy guy, but I think the guy should pursue afterwards. However, if the guy is not shy, I think he should pursue.

what was she in for?

was it for spreading the gospel in Tallahasse Florida?

shall I spoil the ending (skip this if you dont wanna know)

basically if you havent read it or seen the movie - its about a girl who meets a boy, boy is wealthy toff and girl not so wealthy, they overcome that obstacle and get married but then he finds out she is dying of leukemia. So even though he has pots of money, he cant make her live any longer.

This comes the strange phrase, repeated throughout the movie...Love means never having to say you are sorry. ?!

No, never really made sense to me.

I think the guy should get a dog, and the girl should get a dog as well. and they both throw sticks, and chase after the sticks.

I don't agree with 'love means never have to say you're sorry'.

If I remember correctly the last words of Love Story is 'He cried'. Not what I would call a happy ending.

Does it matter? No I write inmates because I'm board and just want someone to fellowship with.

Besides they appreciate the letters because it makes doing time a little easier.

just curious

obviously broke the law, but people can be in jail for various reasons.