Hate

Somebody hurt me really bad and I hate him. I never hated anybody before. Sure there were some people I disliked before but that was never anything like this. I am well on my way to hating myself now because I hold this hate inside. Hate is like a poison that grows inside you. I really do not like myself much anymore. Have any of you felt like this before? Does anyone know how to purge hate that lives inside you? I have no idea what to do and it seems to grow, not diminish. I need help.

I have had a lot of people hurt me badly over the years, so I can definitely relate. It has been said that holding hatred in your heart against someone is like drinking a cup of deadly poison and expecting the other person to die. In other words, as you seem to have already realized, the hatred is hurting you and not the person who hurt you.

How does one overcome it?

I can tell you the answer, but you might not like it.

Christians need to be dead to themselves and alive to God through Christ. If we can get to the place where this is a reality, and we can get there by God's grace, then we can learn to see the hurts which people have inflicted upon us in a totally different light. For one thing, we will come to realize that their sin against us was against God first and foremost. In other words, in order for someone to sin against us, they must also be sinning against God and breaking one of his commandments. By God's grace, we can turn the hatred that we feel towards that individual into compassion, or we can learn to pray for them because we realize how lost they truly are.

I know that this sounds hard, but it really is not if we are willing to do things God's way because he will provide the necessary grace for us to accomplish this is we are but willing to do so.

Hello HoneyBee . When we have difficult feelings such as what you are experiencing and describe,
what the Bible prescribes is to pray for them. In Matthew 5:44, Jesus says: “But I say to you, Love your
enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” This can be hard advice to take, but it comes straight
from the mouth of God. Love for enemies is the pinnacle of obedience to God. As the Sermon on the
Mount indicates, it is easy to love people who love you. But it demands a powerful work of God’s
Spirit to love those who are committed to harming you. <- I found that online. Praying for people is
a form of love for them. Yes, it can be difficult at times, if not most of the time, to pray for those who
have abused and/or hurt you. But consider this fact: it is hurt people who hurt people. Something
some have a hard time accepting is that everything happens for a reason. Most of the time we do
not know what those reasons are, and even if we did know, we may not like or agree with them.
We must put all that aside, and allow God to work on the person/people that for whatever reason,
we have such a hard time with. Giving them to God, and praying for them, will help relieve the burden.

Harbouring resentment toward others is like drinking poison hoping someone else will die.

Here’s an example of a prayer for dealing with a difficult person:

God, You know the struggle I’ve been enduring with this person. It would be so easy to walk away, but
my highest priority is to honour you in this situation. So, I’m asking for the strength and the courage to
endure and love even when I feel like giving up. Produce your character in me. Help me to be patient,
kind, long-suffering, slow to anger, compassionate, and loving. Remind me of the grace you extended t
o me when I was at my lowest, and help me love in that same manner. In Jesus Name, Amen. source

If you are willing to let go of the hate, ask God to heal you of it. Only he can do it. God bless

Precious friend, A Very Warm Welcome To Chat.
Only God Can Change us, purging our sins - Please Be Encouraged In His:

Grace, Peace, And JOY!

And then:

Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged And Edified In
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, And His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided (+ I and II). ← PG Rated "Approved" *
↑ replacing all bad thoughts With Saturation Of ↑ Good Scriptures! Amen?

+ RICH Blessings ♫ 😇 ↑

* PG = Perfect God / Parental Guidance:

I wanted to chime in here for what it's worth from someone older.

You hate, because you once loved. Hate is not actually the opposite of love. Indifference is the opposite. So it's important to understand that bc your emotions are taking over your body right now bc you're hurt. Time will actually heal it.... more time. It's easier said then done. Everyone goes through it. You are not alone.

To get rid of requires 2 things:

1. Positive self talk- see yourself as God sees you. Or at least self talk you would give a best friend or even a small child.

2. Pray for your enemies. Pray that you will be full of love.

Hope this helps.
God bless

The source of the hate, the reason for it can determine how hard or easy it is to forgive.
A bf/gf that dumped you or cheated on you is easier to forgive, than let's say some sort of abuse.

As a teen I had some anger issues and found I was getting bitter and angry over being hurt so much, by friends or gf's. Add to this a generally dim view of people in general and I began to feel hateful towards people as a whole.
I hadn't realized this was going on for a while, but when I finally did I decided to take action against it.
Really you have to work at it. It's something that may not happen over night, but may be a process.

It really takes you looking at the situation making you feel hateful, every day, perhaps multiple times a day, and making an active effort to let go, not of all of it at once, but a little bit at a time.
Accepting that you can't change what's happened. Allowing yourself to feel upset, to a degree, but fighting the urge to give in to it. Depending on the situation perhaps it takes thinking of the other person as damaged, as well.
Or perhaps they've been taught the behavior is acceptable by a parent or older sibling and are unaware (especially as a teen).
Also realize anger and hatred are symptoms of other feelings of hurt or fear. Anger and hatred are often forms of self defense, also. So figuring out what the emotion is, behind the anger, can also be a help.
So those are some of the things that can help with what you're feeling.

If you're talking about some form of abuse, that often requires some sort of counseling or therapy as abuse can be traumatic and cause a lot of internal confusion and conflict, on top of the main results of the abuse. And those are much harder to deal with alone.

I'm sorry to hear that you have been hurt to the point of hatred. My wife and I took in two teenage boys who came out of a very bad home. The oldest carried so much hatred and anger towards their abusers. It was very difficult as young parents having to quickly try to understand teenagers on top of mental illnesses. It was weird at first because I felt young enough to be like a cool 😎 older uncle lol but I knew they needed a responsible father figure. I also introduced them to Christianity and that led to the oldest being able to give his anger to God, to forgive because it was the only way to be free from such a burden. Give the anger and hate over to God, give the hurt over to Him, and let Him deal with it. Pray for God to work in the guy's life so that he may not hurt anyone else.

The concept of forgiveness comes from the fact that we all are sinners and hurt others. Our sin has not only hurt others but it has hurt God. But God forgives us of our sins as He sent His one and only Son Jesus Christ to die for our sins.

Jesus laid down His life for you so that you may live. So that you may be free. For He says all that is tired and weary they may find rest in Him. Jesus was crucified as He paid the sin debt with His life. He was buried and in 3 days rose again making evident that both sin and death had been defeated.

Once we give our life to Christ by asking Him into our lives by faith in who He is as Lord and Savior we gain the Holy Spirit that guides us spiritually. There will be things that spiritually do not make sense until one has gained the Holy Spirit. You gain the Holy Spirit upon your belief and acceptance of who Jesus is.

By His power, we trust that when we give our anger to Him, it will be dealt with in His way and His timing. We simply rest and focus on Him and in that rest, we gain peace.

We forgive because He first forgave us. We do not deserve His forgiveness but by the grace of God, we are given something we do not deserve.

You can have this peace today and know of a love like no other. You can be set free from the anger within. It is as simple as praying and believing that you want Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. A Savior because we are sinners and a Lord because we want to live in His guidance.

If you take this step, let Christians guide you to spiritual maturity and find fellowship in a local church where you can be baptized (a symbolism of your decision and spiritual truths within the act itself).

I pray you find this peace that surpasses all understanding and come rest in His loving embrace.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 6, 2023 - ANTIDOTE FOR THE POISON OF ANGER
Audio for ANTIDOTE FOR THE POISON OF ANGER

The only antidote for hurt, frustration, and anger is love and plenty of it. Jesus promises us love
that runs deeper than any wound. Will we receive it? Many of us reject Jesus’ offer of love. We
want love from the people we want love from – whether they are healthy enough to give us love
or not. Some of us would rather live in anger and frustration at the lack of another’s love for us
than open our hearts to the rich and freely given love of God.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you
as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness,
rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each
other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Eph. 4:30-32)

Hanging on to our bitterness and seeking revenge sickens our souls. Outbursts of anger are
like poison which, over time, will destroy us and harm our loved ones. Our anger may also cause
sickness in our loved ones. Anger can be dealt with by receiving love and forgiveness from God.
Jesus took the anger and violence in our hearts to the cross so that we could receive forgiveness and
healing in exchange. When we consider and experience the love that Jesus has for us, we’ll want to
pass it on to others. It’s time to let go of everything that hinders our healing and recovery. We need to
accept God’s forgiveness for the wrongs we have done, and in turn, forgive those who have wronged us.

So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ
merely from a human point of view. How differently we know him now! This means that anyone who
belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Cor 5:16-17)

Prayer: Loving God, I dare to love because You first loved me. Please help me get rid of the resentment
and anger that is stored deep in my soul. As You have forgiven me, I choose to forgive those who have
harmed me. I am grateful that Your love runs deeper than my wounds. Help me to love and care for
others as You love and care for me. Amen

©2023 Partners in Hope- shared with permission

We hate in others what we hate about ourselves the most.

However,
When someone hurts us....all bets are off.
We lash out in defense. Especially when we are forever harmed/maimed by this hurt.
And at some point we hate ourselves for how this person has had control over our lives and changed us not for the better.

And this is the turning point.
You can go through all the stages of grief. Sorrow over loss, anger, relief and etc.

You don't have to let this control you anymore. YOU have the choice to go forward and live. No it wasn't the life you had planned before the hurt...but it can still be just as rewarding and full. It's your choice.

A LOT of your PTSD soldiers are forever changed by the hate necessary to perform war and by those around them in a war zone. And I recommend talking with a PTSD counselor about this.

Within us all we have the capacity for great acts of selfless love and kindness....or incredible evil. The expression "......couldn't hurt a fly" is a farce. Completely untrue. What it means is really that someone regularly chooses to be kind.

I honestly think that hate was the thorn in Paul's side. Look at what he wrote in 2Corinthians 12: 20
For I am afraid that when I come, I may not find you as I wish, and you may not find me as you wish.

I fear that there may be quarreling, jealousy, rage, rivalry, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder (we've been taught that he must be referring to all that among them, but the previous verse hints that he includes himself and means among us.


And v. 21
I am afraid that when I come again, my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of their acts of impurity, sexual immorality, and debauchery.

Paul fears that he will behave 'indignantly' toward them, even though he himself has a thorn in his flesh (pride, jealousy, rage, arrogance? : a messenger of satan with the condemnation that, 'you're going to hell for that'!) of that which, as he expressed in v. 9, God's grace is sufficient.

I want to thank everyone who answered my call for help. I am embarrassed because I was blind as well as deaf and I could not understand the value of what you shared with me. This began to change when I answered a call given from the church pulpit. My youth pastor led me through a prayer and it changed me from someone trying to learn about God into a sinner saved by grace and started me on a journey to actually get to know God personally. That prayer left me a tearful mess but it is exactly what I needed - the part I was missing. Everything I thought I knew began to change. The hate building up in me that caused me to send this call for help began to loosen its grip and changed the fear I held inside. I lost that which can never be replaced but God has shown me that he can and will help me rebuild my life in Him. It looks like this is going to be a lifelong process and with so much to learn and relearn but day by day I will get there.

Thank you all again for all you shared with me. With a renewed mindset I can see the true value of the words you all shared with me and they do help. I am sorry it took me so long to tell all of you how much you mean to me.

Precious friend, you are Very Welcome!

Please Be Very RICHLY Encouraged And Edified In
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, And His Word Of Truth, Rightly
Divided (+ I and II). ← PG Rated "Approved" *

Grace, Peace, And JOY!… + RICH Blessings ♫ 😇 ↑

* PG: Perfect God / Parental Guidance

Thank you Jesus for answering this prayer. Keep going strong young Christian, keep moving forward.