Failing marriage/ill husband update

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Jordache

Senior Member
Mar 9, 2011
1,829
15
0
#1
Please continue to pray. For two months my husband had been locked up in a psychiatric hospital refusing to talk to me, and refusing to allow anyone to tell me anything about him. Two months to the day that he was first admitted he called and asked me to visit. I agreed and saw him a few days later. He looked great. He was clean shaven. His hair was cut and clean. He'd lost 30 lbs. He was doing well and our first visit went well. The 2nd visit was ok, but he broke down and checked out for about 45 minutes when I told him I wasn't going to let him come home until he proved to me that he wasn't gonna follow through outside of the hospital with all that he said he would AND that while I didn't mind reminding him every once in a while I was not going to remind him to do everything everyday. He really didn't like that and he shut down.
Immediately following, he stopped taking care of himself. He stopped running. And while I don't know
The exact details of how he regressed, I can say from experience he probably wouldn't get out of bed, stopped showering and other hygenic practices, etc.
In addition, he hung up on me 3x. The first was only a partial hang up. I was trying to tell him that he had my support, but that it wasn't going to look like he thought it should. He quickly said "I cant talk about this right now" and hung up. The second was because I told him I wasn't sure I could visit him one day because I had prior commitments that couldn't be rescheduled, though it was already set that I would visit the following day. Lastly, it was because I told him I didn't appreciate having to be made to feel like the bad guy for standing by my commitments. I didn't even get that far. I got 3 words out and he hung up. Mind you, all of these conversations were calm and cordial. There was no anger at least on my part.
The last detail is that my husband has been involved in two fights this past week alone. The first didn't escalate or cause injury because apparently when he punched my husband in the face he just laughed and the guys is now terrified of him. The second happened when his best hospital friend snapped over a
game of cards and started punching him in the head. He ended it with cut up lips.
Today I was supposed visit him but I dont think I'm going to. He's been violent in the past and one of three things could happen. 1). He minds his p's and q's because I'm physically there. 2) he becomes angry and violent. 3) I drive the hour to see him and he refuses to see me.
I'm not sure what to do. I just know I'm without my husband for the holidays because hes flipping his lid at everything and everyone.
 

damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,795
56
0
#2
Father in the name of Jesus deliver her husband from all this, inJjesus name amen
All for your glory
 
F

Fields001

Guest
#3
Praying for you and your husband. May Jesus strengthen you during this storm.
 

Jordache

Senior Member
Mar 9, 2011
1,829
15
0
#4
So i gathered the strength to call him again tris morning and he asid he was feeling better than yesterday. I thought i might go, but then i got a text from s friend who's daycare is cosed for the holiday and she needs a sitter. Maybe i'm overspiritualizing, but maybe its my way of escape from allowing myself to
Be his emotional punching bag. The other factor is that my company is on a forced vacation the last week of Dec.
Thus my check is going to be short. I also don't have the vacation days to cover the whole week.
I told him I wouldn't be able to come because I needed to make up some of the money I will be out before rent is due next month. He told me he couldnt handle it and he hung up.


And just a minute ago my job was canceled so I'm
Back to the question of to go or not to go.
 
Y

yaright

Guest
#5
So i gathered the strength to call him again tris morning and he asid he was feeling better than yesterday. I thought i might go, but then i got a text from s friend who's daycare is cosed for the holiday and she needs a sitter. Maybe i'm overspiritualizing, but maybe its my way of escape from allowing myself to
Be his emotional punching bag. The other factor is that my company is on a forced vacation the last week of Dec.
Thus my check is going to be short. I also don't have the vacation days to cover the whole week.
I told him I wouldn't be able to come because I needed to make up some of the money I will be out before rent is due next month. He told me he couldnt handle it and he hung up.


And just a minute ago my job was canceled so I'm
Back to the question of to go or not to go.
You're being too hard on yourself. Depression can be a sneaky thing. Find one part of the day in the house, or with friends, or work, or church; and do that part of the day with satisfaction. Do not worry about the things you struggle with; just do that one part, to the best of your ability. When you become stronger with that one part of your life; find something else that needs to be done and learn how to do those two parts in a manner that helps you see some sense of accomplishment. Each step teaches how to overcome the next, more difficult situation. It seems like you have it backwards (please pardon the bluntness). You are attempting the things which you cannot succeed at; and it is turning you against the things you care about, even yourself. If you can see how impossible it is for you to help your husband, consider how much more impossible it has become for him. This is an extremely difficult thing for anyone, especially this time of year. You will need your friends, your family and your Saviour more now than ever before.

My heart and prayer goes out to you and yours in this time of troubling.

God Bless you....a child of God...
 

damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,795
56
0
#6
Sister remember God is not moved by our emotions , but faith, start thanking that your husband is well, in the name of Jesus
 

shemaiah

Senior Member
Jan 28, 2011
2,233
28
0
24
#7
I agree with damombomb, I will also be praying for you and your husband. God bless
 

shekaniah

Senior Member
Aug 3, 2011
4,662
12
0
#8
If it's not too late...I would still go and visit him...you are covered by our prayers...take care and God bless.