Feeling very depressed and confused

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ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
323
3
18
#1
Yesterday was supposed to be a good day. Turned out horrible and then I had plenty of time to think and got overly depressed.

I feel like God has been leading me on a journey with a certain someone and keeps bringing me back to him giving me peace sometimes about me n him. Yet, I feel like I’m getting mixed signals sometimes from him and nothing was ever verbally stated about what type of relationship we’re in. I had asked him several months ago and he stated he doesn’t like labels and it’s strange to say we’re dating since we’ve been friends for so long. Our relationship has improved and he has told a few people that we are together but the person has had to ask more then once so in my mind, he’s trying to figure out if he wants people to think we are together or not. But, I was hoping after all this time that has passed since I last asked him, that he’d verbally tell me.

Am I looking too much into it?? Idk what to really think. I’m still feeling so confused many times and just wish he’d be open with me and tell me what he’s thinking and feeling. It’s not fair to me. I feel we are together bc of kissing/hugging/cuddling, etc, but sometimes when I see him, we can go a few times w/o kissing. Not that I don’t want to, but when he hug goodnight, he’s a lot taller then me. I can’t exactly reach up to kiss him but idk what to do.
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
6,023
247
63
#2
Father God you ordered ManiaStar's step in this matter and bless. Lord bless this prayer and let you be glorified. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
D

dalconn

Guest
#3
illegitimate physical relationships will always leave you empty and depressed...do it God's way and read His instruction manual
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
323
3
18
#5
What do you mean illegitimate relationship?
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,623
436
83
#6
you're almost 30yrs. old, what is holding you back from seeking the TRUTH that you
so need to live a life of peace and joy???
what do you really have to lose by just confronting him and asking for his 'truth' about your situation???
the worst is that you will 'move-on' into Christ's future for you and him for himself,
or, you will know where you stand and then get busy with living the blessed life that
your Saviour has blessed you with, it's your choice!...

time to grow-up, and move forward, instead of playing a worldly, fearful, life-style...




praying for you...
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#7
Yesterday was supposed to be a good day. Turned out horrible and then I had plenty of time to think and got overly depressed.

I feel like God has been leading me on a journey with a certain someone and keeps bringing me back to him giving me peace sometimes about me n him. Yet, I feel like I’m getting mixed signals sometimes from him and nothing was ever verbally stated about what type of relationship we’re in. I had asked him several months ago and he stated he doesn’t like labels and it’s strange to say we’re dating since we’ve been friends for so long. Our relationship has improved and he has told a few people that we are together but the person has had to ask more then once so in my mind, he’s trying to figure out if he wants people to think we are together or not. But, I was hoping after all this time that has passed since I last asked him, that he’d verbally tell me.

Am I looking too much into it?? Idk what to really think. I’m still feeling so confused many times and just wish he’d be open with me and tell me what he’s thinking and feeling. It’s not fair to me. I feel we are together bc of kissing/hugging/cuddling, etc, but sometimes when I see him, we can go a few times w/o kissing. Not that I don’t want to, but when he hug goodnight, he’s a lot taller then me. I can’t exactly reach up to kiss him but idk what to do.
Despite rumors to the contrary, men do not have telepathy, so do not know what a woman is thinking. And women do not have telepathy, so don't know what a guy is thinking.

You're asking the wrong people to tell you what he's thinking. Ask him.
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
323
3
18
#8
What makes it so tough is that we have been friends for several years before all this started. That’s what is making asking him extremely difficult.
 
Dec 31, 2017
32
1
8
#9
Unfortunately I can't give an concrete advice. But Jesus can. I can pray, that He will reveal his purpose for you, if you want. Do you?


In the Bible it written everything you need to know. Also about relationship and marriage.

I would also suggest you listen to some sermons about that. To get aligned with the way God sees the relationship between a man and a woman and the purpose of it.

Billy Graham, John Piper have many good sermons on that subject.

Also
Sermons | Grace Bible Church

Or you can get some helpful assistance and service by our Christian Sisters

https://youtu.be/YjZiLuSZylY

https://youtu.be/XAgx1ww8NTc
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
323
3
18
#10
Unfortunately I can't give an concrete advice. But Jesus can. I can pray, that He will reveal his purpose for you, if you want. Do you?


In the Bible it written everything you need to know. Also about relationship and marriage.

I would also suggest you listen to some sermons about that. To get aligned with the way God sees the relationship between a man and a woman and the purpose of it.

Billy Graham, John Piper have many good sermons on that subject.

Also
Sermons | Grace Bible Church

Or you can get some helpful assistance and service by our Christian Sisters

https://youtu.be/YjZiLuSZylY

https://youtu.be/XAgx1ww8NTc
Of course I want to know his purpose.

For now, I believe God has a purpose for me and this guy. God has told me quite a bit over the last several years and some of the things have happened as he said. The others haven’t happened yet but I know God is working as he continues to tell me to be patient and wait. That is another reason why idk if I should talk to him or not. Several months ago, I was building up my confidence to talk to him, but as I was walking down his driveway the one day, God audibly told me, don’t talk to him. Just wait. So, I swallowed up what I was feeling and wanting to say, and I didn’t speak to him.

Fast forward several months and I have the same feelings. I’m not going to speak to him unless God leads me to do so this time. I’m asking him for a very clear answer so I know whether to talk to him or not and that’s what I need
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
63,013
1,833
113
#11
Never ever date a friend.. It inevitably won't work out, and just turns awkward..
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
323
3
18
#13
I know several people who’ve married their best friend and it has worked out great. Even my uncle. Before he started dating my aunt, they were just friends for a long time and he had told me a year ago that the easiest decision to make is to date your best friend bc you already know them, you trust each other and it’s a lot less scary to tell them something bc you know they already love you.

So, dating a friend can be awkward at first but once you get over the awkwardness of it, it’s good.

Look at my parents, they were friends for 8 years before they started dating and they dated 9 yrs before they got married. Were there some problems in their relationship? Of course but they worked through it and now they’ve been married for 39 years now.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,450
423
83
#14
Of course I want to know his purpose.

For now, I believe God has a purpose for me and this guy. God has told me quite a bit over the last several years and some of the things have happened as he said. The others haven’t happened yet but I know God is working as he continues to tell me to be patient and wait. That is another reason why idk if I should talk to him or not. Several months ago, I was building up my confidence to talk to him, but as I was walking down his driveway the one day, God audibly told me, don’t talk to him. Just wait. So, I swallowed up what I was feeling and wanting to say, and I didn’t speak to him.

Fast forward several months and I have the same feelings. I’m not going to speak to him unless God leads me to do so this time. I’m asking him for a very clear answer so I know whether to talk to him or not and that’s what I need
So you are hearing voices?
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
323
3
18
#15
So you are hearing voices?
Voices? No. God speaking to me, yes. God has audibly spoke to me about 7-8 times in the last 17 years. And each time he spoke to me, I listened and guess what, if I had chosen to not listen to him, it would never have worked but since I did listen each time, it did work for out.
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#16
As long as you have trust issues you'll remain unstable.

You either know this is of God or you don't.

You say you've heard from Him yet you're in a panic.... Why? Because it's not happening as fast as you'd like?
 

ManiaStar

Senior Member
Nov 14, 2015
323
3
18
#17
As long as you have trust issues you'll remain unstable.

You either know this is of God or you don't.

You say you've heard from Him yet you're in a panic.... Why? Because it's not happening as fast as you'd like?
I do know this is of God only because of so many things that have happened and have worked out the way God told me they would. You could be right about me panicking bc it’s not happening as fast as I would like and often times when I panic, God has reminded me to be patient and wait. I think God has had to tell me to continue to be patient and wait about 10 times so far since a year ago. Most of those reminders weren’t audible. I just remember praying one time and asking God if I should stay with him or not bc idk what’s going on. That time God told me to relax, be patient and wait. That everything will work out as he told me and as he planned but that I need to be patient. Usually after each one of those experiences, I received deep peace which totally relaxed me and it helped to get my mind off the issue for awhile. I actually had been fine for a few months until a week ago in which God reminded me again but after what happened the other day (not btwn me and him), just threw me into a depression and got me thinking. And struggling to snap out of it which is why I’m my mind I’m thinking if I should talk to him or just let it be..
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,065
1,595
113
63
Florida
#18
I know several people who’ve married their best friend and it has worked out great. Even my uncle. Before he started dating my aunt, they were just friends for a long time and he had told me a year ago that the easiest decision to make is to date your best friend bc you already know them, you trust each other and it’s a lot less scary to tell them something bc you know they already love you.

So, dating a friend can be awkward at first but once you get over the awkwardness of it, it’s good.

Look at my parents, they were friends for 8 years before they started dating and they dated 9 yrs before they got married. Were there some problems in their relationship? Of course but they worked through it and now they’ve been married for 39 years now.
My policy is to only date someone that you would consider marrying and once you decide you don't waste precious time being tentative. I agree that you should only marry your best friend, someone you genuinely like as well as love. I really don't see waiting 8 years to decide whether or not you want to date and then another 9 years deciding whether or not you really love each other enough to become married. I don't believe in long engagements. In my time table I would be friends for 8 days, date for 9 weeks and then get married. You either know what you want or you don't and are willing to roll the dice. I'm glad that it worked out the way it did for your parents. Seems to me dating a friend would be less awkward then dating a total stranger. Always marry your best friend and don't waste precious years due to fear of commitment.
 

Tommy379

Senior Member
Jan 12, 2016
6,450
423
83
#19
My policy is to only date someone that you would consider marrying and once you decide you don't waste precious time being tentative. I agree that you should only marry your best friend, someone you genuinely like as well as love. I really don't see waiting 8 years to decide whether or not you want to date and then another 9 years deciding whether or not you really love each other enough to become married. I don't believe in long engagements. In my time table I would be friends for 8 days, date for 9 weeks and then get married. You either know what you want or you don't and are willing to roll the dice. I'm glad that it worked out the way it did for your parents. Seems to me dating a friend would be less awkward then dating a total stranger. Always marry your best friend and don't waste precious years due to fear of commitment.
Why waste that much time? Your time table is way too long.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
23,065
1,595
113
63
Florida
#20
I do know this is of God only because of so many things that have happened and have worked out the way God told me they would. You could be right about me panicking bc it’s not happening as fast as I would like and often times when I panic, God has reminded me to be patient and wait. I think God has had to tell me to continue to be patient and wait about 10 times so far since a year ago. Most of those reminders weren’t audible. I just remember praying one time and asking God if I should stay with him or not bc idk what’s going on. That time God told me to relax, be patient and wait. That everything will work out as he told me and as he planned but that I need to be patient. Usually after each one of those experiences, I received deep peace which totally relaxed me and it helped to get my mind off the issue for awhile. I actually had been fine for a few months until a week ago in which God reminded me again but after what happened the other day (not btwn me and him), just threw me into a depression and got me thinking. And struggling to snap out of it which is why I’m my mind I’m thinking if I should talk to him or just let it be..
God doesn't always tell someone to be patient, there comes a time when He tells you to act or forget about the whole thing.