God help me

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Concrete

Junior Member
Feb 3, 2018
2
0
0
#1
[h=2]
Re: Crushed and Defeated![/h]
I am 56 my oldest brother died in a car accident when I was in 7th grade we were very close I looked up to him then my dad got cancer and had 6 to 11 months before he past my middle brother and his girlfriend died in a double hit in run a car hit him into the road she went to help him then another car ran them both over and killed them, a year to the day we put my middle brother in the ground my dad died, my mom passed a fur years ago
When my oldest brother died I started smoking pot just to get away from the pain then went to drinking my marriage broke up I drank even more when my mom and dad got ill I should have been there more I should have moved in to my dads even if I had a 3 hour each way for work, my mom wanted me to move down where she lived but I couldn’t saying I just started my business and my children are up here. To this day I hate myself for not being there for them I mean they had the pain of losing 2 of their children then I found the internet and it took over had no desire but it just took the place of the booze my business is slow
I have to be out of where I live by March 31 have no money no where to go may lose my children meaning they may not talk to me I did not know I was in depression it sneaks up and you just don’t know it I have held all the pain in my life in and it’s going to cost me everything there has been many day that I figured the world would be better off with me not in it for years I have been coming home to a empty house I figured I am not worth anything all I ever wanted to do was to be a good father and a good person I tried but again I guess I failed at that
I pray and pray I am broken and I don’t want to feel like this
Dose anyone what the feeling is like feeling that you are going to lose everything I lost one family I am not strong enough to go through that again
I ask god I pray to god to come into my life and fix me and help me I can’t do it on my own I don’t think I am a bad person​
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
63,532
2,229
113
#2
Of course you're not a bad person. :) But happiness isn't found in drugs and alcohol. It only numbs the pain, not removes it.

Also, if you used capitalization and punctuation, it would be easier to read your posts..
 

levi85

Senior Member
Jul 2, 2013
6,103
333
83
#4
Lord bless concrete and this prayer, in Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 

Violet24

Senior Member
Apr 14, 2015
993
65
28
#5
Concrete, Some encouragement for you regarding all the emotional pain & emptiness your are dealing with...Jesus, your Heavenly Father is right there with you at this very moment. He hears the cry of your heart and your desperation for strength and healing from all you've been through. Jesus wants you to fully & completely lean into Him & rest at His feet. There is healing His wings & unconditional love for you. Bring all the pain to Jesus daily through prayer, and allow yourself to be in total surrender to your Heavenly Father. Abide in Him & draw close to Him, and He will draw close to you. He is a wonderful counselor & healer. He will strengthen every area of your life & help you to rebuild all that seems loss & broken. As you rest in His presence daily, and abide in His Word & TRUST Him to lead the way as each new sunrise comes. There are a couple songs I want to pass on to you, which I think will minister & encourage you in the Lord. Sometimes music can speak a beautiful prayer into ones heart & soul. A song by Jeremy Camp "There will be a day" and also A song from Hillsong "Lead me to the Cross"
 

blessedby1

Junior Member
Aug 15, 2017
23
0
0
#6
John:16: 33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
Jesus wrote that to us so that we would know that life will have its difficulties. It is normal to have difficulties. You have had your share of tremendous difficulties. But that is exactly why Jesus came from heaven to earth, to show the way.
For us, with all the heartache and pain you have had; and for all the heartache and pain I have had- our part is not to push those feelings down, or somehow repress them, or act as they don’t exist, nor should we try to numb ourselves with drugs or alcohol- instead we are to give our feelings over to God. He can deal with everything we give him.

1 Corinthians 5:10 says:
“...casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…”
We should not be holding onto thoughts that cause us misery, and pain, rather we should be giving them to Christ.

Concrete, you are correct, you can’t do it on your own...God never intended that for us. As believers we need to be calling on Him daily, even hourly and even minute by minute- when we do so, we learn to rely on Him for our strength, we learn to rely on Him for our perseverance, we learn to rely on Him for our hope.
Without suffering- maybe we wouldn’t call upon God as much; maybe we might be a little bit to independent from Him. Which is not good. As painful as suffering is, we actually need it, for the purpose of drawing us to Him.
The more we rely and have a strong relationship with Jesus, the more joy, hope and love we can experience in life. And remember, believers have God and His Son Jesus in our life- all the time.

Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
Psalm 61
 

Silverwings

Senior Member
Jul 27, 2016
821
60
28
#7
I am very glad you found this forum and hope it is helpful to you. I would recommend that in addition to this that you go to AA or NA or both, and also that you find a competent Christian therapist, one that you feel comfortable with, and try to get your life back on track. A grief counselor might be of help also. As for the living arrangement, if you have no money and no job, there is only one solution that I can think of and that is to find a homeless shelter, or you might be able to find someone to live with perhaps on Craigslist, in exchange for your help in some way. AAA & Na, are both free, and lifeskills (provided you have one in your area) is free to according to your income or lack of it, They can sometimes help you to find housing too. You can apply for foodstamps if you are homeless, and I encourage you to do so, also ask questions of every agency you solicit, of what other resources are available in your area. If it is limited maybe you should consider moving to an area that has more resources available to you. And post in here for prayer, as well as contacting as many prayer groups as possible, Facebook has a lot of them, that can be accessed by typing in Prayer in the search box. I pray that you will be able to find your way, and get back on your feet, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. God bless.
 

KBond

Senior Member
Jun 5, 2013
662
19
18
#9
I am praying for you, but it sounds like you also need a support group around you to help you stay thinking positively and help you to live a life free from substance abuse. Check out http://www.celebraterecovery.com/. It is just people like you meeting together usually at a local church and getting through life together. It is too hard to do it on your own. We are all sinners. You are no worse of a sinner than any of the rest of us. Your circumstances do not mean God is punishing you. God has forgiven you if you have received His forgiveness. Now you just need to learn the value of being a son of the Most High. God bless.