- May 16, 2013
I struggle with suicidal thoughts and I don't want them. I don't want to take my life I want to live for Jesus. I have battled with this before a few times and I've been prayed for about this before many times as well. For a time they leave sometimes for several months they are gone and then suddenly one day boom they are back again. I don't want to keep struggling with this. I do my best to avoid things that will trigger these thoughts because I don't want to invite them in but every time the subject of death comes up it starts the ball rolling again. There's only so much I can do to avoid the subject of death it's a part of life until Jesus comes back. Even Disney movies have death in them so I can't just live under a rock and avoid all humanity. I want this battle to be over and I keep struggling with a negative thought that says "it'll be gone for a time but it'll come back" and that sounds like a threat to me. I'm worried these horrible thoughts will just keep coming back over and over nagging me until they drive me past my breaking point and I don't want that to happen. So please pray that the suicidal thoughts will leave me forever and that I'll live for Jesus which is what I want.
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