Im going crazy :(

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Godistheone26

Godistheone26

Junior Member
#1
Sep 24, 2017
15
1
0
#1
Hello and God bless you all! My name is Arely so I been married to the love of my life for about 10 months now, we both use to go to church he reconciled and everything before I married him and things were great until mid June he stopped going to church he started smoking cigarettes again that's when all hell went loose I couldn't say do not do it because I did not want secrets or anyone doing these kind of things behind my back, he started working more and more which is why he could not go to church anymore, he put money first and then god, I understand that when a sheep comes back from the world it is harder but imagine you are just starting again in Gods path of course he was going to tumble, and that is what happened, things got ruff and well devil is not playing games.. he left he's job to go to another job where all his family member's work, lets just say his family sucks!!!!!!!!!! they would drink , talk about girls no respect so guess what? my husband started drinking and it just went bad from there he would not come home some nights because of this issue, and well I stopped going to church as well because I was mad at God on why he was making all these things happening, my husband was sent to NC and I couldn't go because I work, and well he didn't really want me to go. I didn't care until things got bad he wouldn't call sometimes when we would we talk it was to argue and I felt so alone, he got in a fight with my parents and he did not come back I saw him after a month without seeing him but it wasn't to talk it was just to spend a night together to be with him because we couldn't do anything else since he was drunk I been praying getting more into God but I see no changes in him we don't talk everyday he blocks me some days and in blocks me others it is very hard to even tell what we want</3 feeling hopeless
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#2
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
69
Tennessee
#2
I quit smoking two years ago for 3 months. One day, going to work I stopped at my local convenience store for my coffee. At the counter I also got a BIC lighter and a pack of smokes. I was attending church with my wife on Saturday but then my schedule at work got changed so I haven't been there in almost a year. Story is similar to a point. I used to drink but gave that up years ago because I saw the damage that it can do in relationships.

Since your husband started drinking maybe he can simply stop drinking if he knows that it's hurting you and the marriage. As far as the smoking is concerned that is an extremely hard addiction to overcome, if he is not otherwise abusive I would cut him some slack on this but insist that he smokes outside. Also, tell him that you would appreciate it if he would at least consider giving up smoking.

It is not altogether a bad thing for a husband to work more and harder to support his family but he needs to make time for you too.

There are several challenges that your marriage faces but at this point I don't see why they couldn't be readily resolved with the help of God.

Hopefully, you will find comfort, support and understanding from the members of this site. Glad to have you join our family. Welcome to CC.
 
N

Nick_Galusha

Banned
#3
May 2, 2017
64
0
0
#3
Godistheone26 said:
Hello and God bless you all! My name is Arely so I been married to the love of my life for about 10 months now, we both use to go to church he reconciled and everything before I married him and things were great until mid June he stopped going to church he started smoking cigarettes again that's when all hell went loose I couldn't say do not do it because I did not want secrets or anyone doing these kind of things behind my back, he started working more and more which is why he could not go to church anymore, he put money first and then god, I understand that when a sheep comes back from the world it is harder but imagine you are just starting again in Gods path of course he was going to tumble, and that is what happened, things got ruff and well devil is not playing games.. he left he's job to go to another job where all his family member's work, lets just say his family sucks!!!!!!!!!! they would drink , talk about girls no respect so guess what? my husband started drinking and it just went bad from there he would not come home some nights because of this issue, and well I stopped going to church as well because I was mad at God on why he was making all these things happening, my husband was sent to NC and I couldn't go because I work, and well he didn't really want me to go. I didn't care until things got bad he wouldn't call sometimes when we would we talk it was to argue and I felt so alone, he got in a fight with my parents and he did not come back I saw him after a month without seeing him but it wasn't to talk it was just to spend a night together to be with him because we couldn't do anything else since he was drunk I been praying getting more into God but I see no changes in him we don't talk everyday he blocks me some days and in blocks me others it is very hard to even tell what we want</3 feeling hopeless
Click to expand...
Whenever you have something good,the devil wants to steal it. If you want, you can private message me and i can tell you how i am dealing with the things happening in my family.
 
Godistheone26

Godistheone26

Junior Member
#4
Sep 24, 2017
15
1
0
#4
I totally agree he knows I did not like that but he still did it which I got over it, working a lot made it irrating for me because like you say there has to be time for me but there isn't just in the night which I would complain to him about but thank you I'm praying for him and many blessings to you <3
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#5
#5
Mad at God for what? Because your husband made choices of his own free will?
God is not a puppet master that determines what we all say and do. He granted us free will to think and act for ourselves. God won't force your husband to change, nor did He cause your husband to change.
Chances are your husband never really changed, but just pretended to to pacify you so he could marry you. He is showing you who he was all along. You're seeing his true colors.
It's uncommon for people to change so much in a short time.

Sadly you got suckered into this marriage by a liar and manipulator. Not God's fault, though.
You can keep praying, though it's not some magic trick that gives you want you want, especially in regards to people exercising their free will. You have to ask yourself how long you are willing to wait.

As a friendly tip. Use paragraphs and periods. A wall of text run on sentence of a post is difficult to read and understand.
 
levi85

levi85

Senior Member
#6
Jul 2, 2013
8,578
2,180
113
#6
Lord bless Godistheone26 and her husband. Lord remove the differences and bind with your love and you be glorified. Lord bless this couple. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!
 
KBond

KBond

Senior Member
#7
Jun 5, 2013
662
21
18
#7
I hope you will take the steps to go back to church. Without God and a community of Christians to support you, then you will continue to feel lonely and you will make bad choices for your life. I am praying for you and your husband to be reconciled, but your faith is way more important than your marriage. Don't let go of something great like God's love for you because of a mere man who lacks the capacity to truly love you for the amazing woman you are.
 
Godistheone26

Godistheone26

Junior Member
#8
Sep 24, 2017
15
1
0
#8
I sure am still attending church trying to distract myself from what's going on. To learn how to love and chase my Savior before I love and chase a man, all the prayers needed, May God bless thank you for those kinds words.
 
S

snowqueen

Junior Member
#10
Sep 28, 2017
2
0
0
#10
Oh sweetheart. I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Marriage is so much work. Sometimes it is exhausting! I want to say kuddos to you for trying to keep communication open. That's an excellent start. Don't stop trying to communicate no matter how hard things are. I would also encourage you to stay in church yourself, even if your husband doesn't go. It's important to have that brother and sister supportive community. Do you think your husband would agree to go to counseling? If he isn't willing or is uninterested, pray. Pray hard that God would get a hold of him and his heart. That he would feel the love of God again. I have heard there's a good podcast about being spiritually unmatched. It's available here and could be helpful. I am praying for you and your husband. Keep us posted. Blessings to you.
 
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