- Feb 3, 2018
Hello guys, I am struggling very bad with mental oppression and I am at the end of being strong. I am coming to realize that I am not a good person and everyone always seem to confirm this. I have tried giving out encouragement, love, and light to others because I know how it feels to know pain and experience a sense of worthlessness. I also have tried calling out for help, but no one really knows how to help. I feel like once I do receive encouraging words, I do feel better.. I start having hope again.. then BOOM.. something comes and takes it away, then I am back to square 1. When I do feel like this, I felt like God was not there and he did not love me, but He is and he does love me, I just can't figure out how to handle my life. I can't even enjoy my life due to anxiety. I have a problem with anger and this has been since childhood.. I have a explosive temper once I have reached a breaking point like today. After, I feel so full of shame. That person is NOT me and it's not who I want to be. I am so frustrated with everything right now. All I want is to isolate myself. I feel different, I feel horrible, I feel like I do not belong. I am at my wits end here. I know someone is reading this and I hope you do not judge me, this is me opening up to how I feel. Sometimes, I am better at writing how I feel then talking about it. I hold things in, I do not trust people to tell them what is going on.. (fear of being judged) or looking at me differently. but can someone please pray for me, I am trying to be strong here. To be a great mom, and to fulfill God's purpose, but I am scared for myself at the moment. This will be my last post for awhile. Thank you for everyone's kind words in advance, God sees you.. and I pray God will lead the right person to this post to pray for me and my family. Thank you so much.
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