My emotions during daddy's cancer

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ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
Apr 1, 2014
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#21
Daddy is having a hard time. Last night he thought he was falling away from God because he felt doubt and fear and wasn't sure he believed in God despite praying and trusting in God and expect ect.

Just like I had in like 2012. I had to had medicine, and right now Dad has decided to take medicine for anxiety to help. His brain chemistry is being attacked and changed, and I keep telling him that. It's like "no but this situation is different" just like I had.

I truly think I went through my issues to help daddy. I thank God for that. That it wasn't for no reason as I sometimes thought.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#22
Ask him to make a list of positive things that God has done and is doing for him through all this.. If anything, daddy is getting CLOSER to God through all this. :) Tell him it's normal to feel these things when a person is as sick as he is right now. Last of all, read him Luke 1:37 and Philippians 4:13. And tell him we're all pulling for him. :)


Daddy is having a hard time. Last night he thought he was falling away from God because he felt doubt and fear and wasn't sure he believed in God despite praying and trusting in God and expect ect.

Just like I had in like 2012. I had to had medicine, and right now Dad has decided to take medicine for anxiety to help. His brain chemistry is being attacked and changed, and I keep telling him that. It's like "no but this situation is different" just like I had.

I truly think I went through my issues to help daddy. I thank God for that. That it wasn't for no reason as I sometimes thought.
 

ArtsieSteph

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#23
I almost feel like I am too tired to do anything. I think he needs to like you said take down his thoughts and promises. It's just so hard cuz I'm in constant fear that there will be something happen the next day or the next couple hours. I have to trust God with my daddy and let go because God loves him more than I do. It's just like I feel like we could be ok the brink of something and yet I don't know how to help
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#24
Go take a good, long nap. Daddy will be fine. He's in the palm of God's hand.. :) Stop giving the devil a foothold into your fear, Steph.


I almost feel like I am too tired to do anything. I think he needs to like you said take down his thoughts and promises. It's just so hard cuz I'm in constant fear that there will be something happen the next day or the next couple hours. I have to trust God with my daddy and let go because God loves him more than I do. It's just like I feel like we could be ok the brink of something and yet I don't know how to help
 

ArtsieSteph

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#25
Thank you blue. I'm having a hard time sleeping but I'm trying...
 

ArtsieSteph

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#26
Dad has been having big struggles and starting to seek help from others without including me. For some reason that is panicking me that I’m not in the loop of things. I told him he needs to be able to talk to people outside of just me but now that he is I’m like-

“NAY. AT LEAST NOT WHILE IM HERE, DONT MAKE ME WAIT IN THE WAITING ROOM WHILE UOU TALK ALONE WITH THR DOCTOR I CANT HANDLE THIS.”
 
M

Miri

Guest
#27
To be honest Steph, I’m the sort of person who prefers privacy when speaking to
medics. If it was me I would not want anyone with me either.


If the roles were reversed, you would want the freedom to put yourself first during such
appointments. You can’t do that if other family members are present as you end up thinking
of their needs instead of your own. As a result you might not ask all the questions
you want to ask. Does that make sense.

Dont take it personally.

Lord we pray for wisdom and peace for Steph, that she will rest in you and have
everything over to you. Lord be her strength at this time.

Amen.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#28
This may sound harsh, but you're not daddy's mother.. You're his daughter. Daddy IS capable of talking to his doctor on his own. :) There may be some things he wants to talk to his doctor about, that you don't have a need to know about.. You're a support person for him, but you're not a medical professional, and therefore don't need to be privy to all his medical details..


Dad has been having big struggles and starting to seek help from others without including me. For some reason that is panicking me that I’m not in the loop of things. I told him he needs to be able to talk to people outside of just me but now that he is I’m like-

“NAY. AT LEAST NOT WHILE IM HERE, DONT MAKE ME WAIT IN THE WAITING ROOM WHILE UOU TALK ALONE WITH THR DOCTOR I CANT HANDLE THIS.”
 
Dec 16, 2012
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#29
This is actually very true. When my grandmother had nurses come and visit to attend to her, I always left the room. The nurses needed space for their job, their tools, their communication in a small enough room and I was just in the way, so I stayed in a drawing room when they came.
 

ArtsieSteph

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#30
Makes sense. And part of it was later he let me go in by myself tha way if there were things that I needed to talk about too tha I could get em out. Worked well.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#31
Well, that's good. Now go to bed and get some rest. :)
 

ArtsieSteph

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#32
Honestly Blain being here for the past few days has calmed me so much like I had a little bit of panic that was dad related yesterday and I had almost forgotten what that felt like.
 

ArtsieSteph

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#33
Blain left, and for some reason my emotional tired came back. I don't know why, I guess cuz I'm super sad. It was a weird kinda sad though, like I just felt....down. Like that's the best way I know how to describe it really... I know it's good for Blainy to be back obviously but it's like......I dunno.

I sad. XD But I gotta get back to taking care of daddy.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#34
Steph, I don't mean this to sound harsh, but Daddy is not an invalid. Daddy can take care of himself for a couple hours. Let your mom help him, while you get back to taking care of YOU.. You're burning out fast and won't be any help to Daddy if you get sick..

Blain left, and for some reason my emotional tired came back. I don't know why, I guess cuz I'm super sad. It was a weird kinda sad though, like I just felt....down. Like that's the best way I know how to describe it really... I know it's good for Blainy to be back obviously but it's like......I dunno.

I sad. XD But I gotta get back to taking care of daddy.
 

ArtsieSteph

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#35
Yeah I appreciate it....sadly he was kinda taking care of himself like the whole week.... Or rather Mom was helping. I just sort of let myself be lazy and that was not good. I am not totally innocent in that part.

It's weird it's like my brain is resetting to what my usual life is. Very strange. And tot tell the truth, I've had problems with that since I was young as far as "vacations." For me this was an emotional vacation as it were. When I was young and we went somewhere, I would go through an emotional separation of "ok this isn't your life, you have to go back home" and it would legitimately bother me.
 

ArtsieSteph

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#36
Still kind of down, but doing better… But I find myself unintentionally dealing with “why is my life not how I want to be and why am I not where I want to be” emotions right now
 

Jenizona

Senior Member
Aug 8, 2015
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#37
Still kind of down, but doing better… But I find myself unintentionally dealing with “why is my life not how I want to be and why am I not where I want to be” emotions right now
I'm almost 20 years older than you, and I still have those feelings lol. :-D Just keep moving in the right direction. :)
 

ArtsieSteph

Senior Member
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#38
I guess the hard thing is trying not to be honey of God in what is going on.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
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#39
I guess the hard thing is trying not to be honey of God in what is going on.
Sweetie that is only normal is in fact a growing process in trust and faith in God. Do you think I was able to suddenly have the kind of trust in him I do? I had to go through several trials of trust and faith just to get half way from where I am. Remember God doesn't always answer our prayers how we expect, if you ask him to help you to trust him and to grow in faith often times he gives you an opportunity or a situation in which you need to lean on him in both of these things