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Everyone has been through hardships. And I kind of thought like you in some ways. It seems like I knew the Lord because I could quote some scripture and I went to church, but its all wrong. God is a loving everlasting merciful God. BELIEVE IT. Its the truth. God wants you no matter how you feel or how you see yourself as. He is NOT just standing by and watching you suffer, he is up in heaven cheering you on. I know you can make it and so does God.
My mom had cancer and it got really bad. It is just as hard for the people around someone sick, then it is for the person who was sick. She had stage four cancer and should be dead right now. A lot of doctors are amazed she is alive and walking. She had cancer in her bones, on her brain, in a lot of different organs, and wrapped around her spine. You see, my mom being sick and my Dad at work made the us kids have to do a lot of work themselves. I was ten when she first got sick, but around 12 and 13 when she became paralyzed from the waist down. For that period of time, she couldn't get out of bed and walk. She eventually came through and walked again.
I took care of my younger sister a lot. Basically did a mom's job. Took care of her, took care of myself, took care of my mom, took care of the cleaning and dinner and packing lunches. It was hard and I troubled with depression. I even started drinking when I was 13 for a while. My older brother mainly took care of my mom cuz my Dad was at work so much and he would try to get a lot of homeschooling done later in the evenings. My brother is only two years older than me but him having to take care of my mom while dad was at work made his schooling be pushed off till towards the end of the day.
Faith = persistence. You can't have faith without willing to keep working and seeking God. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET. Words matter and that means you need to speak what you want. Say aloud I AM HEALED. I DON'T SUFFER FROM SUICIDE THOUGHTS. Say over and over and over and don't quit! Never ever ever quit! Believe it and make a conscious decision to believe that you are healed. Thank the Lord for your healing every day! It's been five years since my mom was first sick and she NEVER gave up. She spoke it every single day and still does. And now she's alive....and she can walk...and it's a GOD given miracle. There is one headed your way if you stay persistent.
One more thing.....God will use you. He uses the most unlikely people for the most unlikely jobs. He loves you so much! You are HIS kid and he does not want you to suffer. You might not believe it, but if you think it has been told to you a billion times, then that means it is TRUE! And don't take our word for it, keep seeking and you will find. The truth is in the sword, your bible. Read it every day. A lady once told me that God will pick you up and take you out of your hardships at the right time. YOU might feel it is the right time, but God doesn't run on our agenda, he runs on his own. He will help you and fill your heart with his grace, patience, mercy, peace, love, comfort, and more if you wait on his timing. He knows what is best and he'll do it when everybody around might think it is impossible for you to get out of this situation, so that when you are brought out of it, they KNOW it was a miracle form God.
You are in my prayers.
My mom had cancer and it got really bad. It is just as hard for the people around someone sick, then it is for the person who was sick. She had stage four cancer and should be dead right now. A lot of doctors are amazed she is alive and walking. She had cancer in her bones, on her brain, in a lot of different organs, and wrapped around her spine. You see, my mom being sick and my Dad at work made the us kids have to do a lot of work themselves. I was ten when she first got sick, but around 12 and 13 when she became paralyzed from the waist down. For that period of time, she couldn't get out of bed and walk. She eventually came through and walked again.
I took care of my younger sister a lot. Basically did a mom's job. Took care of her, took care of myself, took care of my mom, took care of the cleaning and dinner and packing lunches. It was hard and I troubled with depression. I even started drinking when I was 13 for a while. My older brother mainly took care of my mom cuz my Dad was at work so much and he would try to get a lot of homeschooling done later in the evenings. My brother is only two years older than me but him having to take care of my mom while dad was at work made his schooling be pushed off till towards the end of the day.
Faith = persistence. You can't have faith without willing to keep working and seeking God. CHANGE YOUR MINDSET. Words matter and that means you need to speak what you want. Say aloud I AM HEALED. I DON'T SUFFER FROM SUICIDE THOUGHTS. Say over and over and over and don't quit! Never ever ever quit! Believe it and make a conscious decision to believe that you are healed. Thank the Lord for your healing every day! It's been five years since my mom was first sick and she NEVER gave up. She spoke it every single day and still does. And now she's alive....and she can walk...and it's a GOD given miracle. There is one headed your way if you stay persistent.
One more thing.....God will use you. He uses the most unlikely people for the most unlikely jobs. He loves you so much! You are HIS kid and he does not want you to suffer. You might not believe it, but if you think it has been told to you a billion times, then that means it is TRUE! And don't take our word for it, keep seeking and you will find. The truth is in the sword, your bible. Read it every day. A lady once told me that God will pick you up and take you out of your hardships at the right time. YOU might feel it is the right time, but God doesn't run on our agenda, he runs on his own. He will help you and fill your heart with his grace, patience, mercy, peace, love, comfort, and more if you wait on his timing. He knows what is best and he'll do it when everybody around might think it is impossible for you to get out of this situation, so that when you are brought out of it, they KNOW it was a miracle form God.
You are in my prayers.