Super confused

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blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#41
Hmmm.. What is really weird is, that he showed up in Japan when you went there with your friend. He's keeping tabs on you some how. :confused: And it's fairly easy (or so I've been told) to get a phone number even when it's been changed. Do you have your own personal computer to use at work? Do you use it for bookings and such? It's awfully strange that he shows up wherever you are.

I've changed my phone and phone number when I moved, so I dont think he did? Also, all booking confirmations on that Seattle trip were done through company property, so I don't think he could have hacked that. I guess maybe he could have hacked my expedia or something regarding personal trips? If hes stalking me, then this thread just turned into something way uglier and sinister.
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#42
You have no future with a married man. Remember, he took an oath before God to cherish, love and be faithful to another women. Mr 10:9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." (RSV)

Mt 16:4 A wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and there shall no sign be given unto it, but the sign of the prophet Jonas. And he left them, and departed. Do you really think God would contradict Himself and give you a sign.

I beg you, turn form this temptation and sin and do what is correct in the eyes of God.
Thank you.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#43
Okay, I'm officially spooked. LOL.. Seriously though, if he's using all his money to support his wife, her family AND his family, then how does he still have enough money to book flights to Seattle and Japan, stay in expensive hotel rooms and all the rest of the expenses? :confused:

He was 25, and I was 23 when this all happened four years ago. He'll be thirty this November. He said it was something about joining the families to pool in more missionary funds, and their parents agreed on the marriage before they even met the first time. His parents bought an engagement ring and told him to propose the first time they met.

He hasn't tried to move there because hes basically supporting the family through funding ( his parents, inlaws, and wife)... so it really doesn't make sense for him to move there. He would have jack squat and have to start from the bottom up when hes making good money here in the states.

Thank you~ I have been distracting myself with a lot and busy with rebuilding my life out here. It has been good, and it's really "those days" where I just end up feeling down, or when we do see each other and all the hurt and feelings come rushing back.
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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480
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#44
If you come across each other, run the opposite direction lol.

I think the best prayer we can offer is for God to heal your heart and mind and for this guy to make an effort to have a relationship with his wife.
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#45
Okay, I'm officially spooked. LOL.. Seriously though, if he's using all his money to support his wife, her family AND his family, then how does he still have enough money to book flights to Seattle and Japan, stay in expensive hotel rooms and all the rest of the expenses? :confused:
He's definitely not using all his money for funding LOL. He does project management with a large company, so he does have money to go on trips... I hope? The Seattle one was also a work trip for him* we have also met in Japan, Denver, Kentucky, and the funeral in Chicago (much more normal).
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#46
Hmmm.. What is really weird is, that he showed up in Japan when you went there with your friend. He's keeping tabs on you some how. :confused: And it's fairly easy (or so I've been told) to get a phone number even when it's been changed. Do you have your own personal computer to use at work? Do you use it for bookings and such? It's awfully strange that he shows up wherever you are.
I only use my company computer and phone for work related stuff. So for my vacation, maybe he could have hacked my personal computer?If he hacked into company property and company networking, that's a whole new ballgame of creepy...not that hacking into my personal computer wouldn't already be creepy
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#47
He's definitely not using all his money for funding LOL. He does project management with a large company, so he does have money to go on trips... I hope? The Seattle one was also a work trip for him* we have also met in Japan, Denver, Kentucky, and the funeral in Chicago (much more normal).
Otherwise, I don't know what to say. I'm getting creeped out. Thank you, I think this is helping me get over him :) Hahaha ....
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#48
If you come across each other, run the opposite direction lol.

I think the best prayer we can offer is for God to heal your heart and mind and for this guy to make an effort to have a relationship with his wife.
Thank you :)
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,821
1,731
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#49
Coming across each other once might be a coincidence, but meeting you in what? 4 or 5 different states, and even another country. THAT is NOT coincidence.. I would call that covert surveillance..lol

He's definitely not using all his money for funding LOL. He does project management with a large company, so he does have money to go on trips... I hope? The Seattle one was also a work trip for him* we have also met in Japan, Denver, Kentucky, and the funeral in Chicago (much more normal).
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#50
Coming across each other once might be a coincidence, but meeting you in what? 4 or 5 different states, and even another country. THAT is NOT coincidence.. I would call that covert surveillance..lol
Now i'm legitimately scared. I'm on a work trip right now and i'm too scared to go out of my hotel.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#51
If he's good with computers, it would be easy for him to hack any of your computers, even your company one.. You say you ran across him in Japan, Kentucky, Illinois and Denver, Colorado. Do you really think that is just a coincidence? I sure don't.


I only use my company computer and phone for work related stuff. So for my vacation, maybe he could have hacked my personal computer?If he hacked into company property and company networking, that's a whole new ballgame of creepy...not that hacking into my personal computer wouldn't already be creepy
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#52
If he's good with computers, it would be easy for him to hack any of your computers, even your company one.. You say you ran across him in Japan, Kentucky, Illinois and Denver, Colorado. Do you really think that is just a coincidence? I sure don't.
I guess I've been pretty blindsided by my feelings. But now that you mention it, other than the funeral, it does seem pretty fishy. And scary.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
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#53
Honestly, I'm scared for you. :/ If you happen across him on this trip, you'll know it isn't a coincidence. My advice is, get a non-traceable Tracfone, and do all your booking and whatnot on it. Tracfone's cost about $20 or so. You'll need to get a Tracfone prepaid minutes card too.

Now i'm legitimately scared. I'm on a work trip right now and i'm too scared to go out of my hotel.
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#54
Honestly, I'm scared for you. :/ If you happen across him on this trip, you'll know it isn't a coincidence. My advice is, get a non-traceable Tracfone, and do all your booking and whatnot on it. Tracfone's cost about $20 or so. You'll need to get a Tracfone prepaid minutes card too.
Thank you, will do.

Welps, that's one way to start getting over someone.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,821
1,731
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#55
LOL.. Yupp.. Even his story about being forced to marry a foreignor sounds fishy. American parents usually don't FORCE their adult children to do anything, much less marry a foreignor. Is it possible he's been playing you all this time? Just something to consider.

Thank you, will do.

Welps, that's one way to start getting over someone.
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#56
LOL.. Yupp.. Even his story about being forced to marry a foreignor sounds fishy. American parents usually don't FORCE their adult children to do anything, much less marry a foreignor. Is it possible he's been playing you all this time? Just something to consider.
His parents aren't American. His heritage is Japanese, and it's much more common for arranged marriages, especially in the church, because of how few followers there are in Japan. I guess I can understand too, because my family is from Korea, and I've been forced on blind dates with "serious intention" pressure from my family too. Because of that, I never really questioned his story, and I still don't really question it? I'm more scared now of the stalking.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,821
1,731
113
#57
Ahh, okay. Well, still something is fishy here...

His parents aren't American. His heritage is Japanese, and it's much more common for arranged marriages, especially in the church, because of how few followers there are in Japan. I guess I can understand too, because my family is from Korea, and I've been forced on blind dates with "serious intention" pressure from my family too. Because of that, I never really questioned his story, and I still don't really question it? I'm more scared now of the stalking.
 

Ugly

Senior Member
Apr 19, 2011
20,648
627
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#59
Please pray for clarity in my situation.

So it began 5 years ago. I was dating a missionary's son, and his family is overseas. Flashforward about a year, his family asks him to marry a girl in the area they are serving in. He didn't decline. I was bitter and hurt, but knew I had to get over it.

For the past four years, we have been struggling. He hasn't been faithful, and I have been having a hard time being accountable with him (his wife is still overseas, which doesn't help). We've tried cutting our contract cold turkey, and even blocked each other in social media. However situations always arise where we find ourselves together, and even though our contact remains chaste, our emotions and conversations are not.

Last year, I prayed that if God intends for us to be together, He should give us a clear sign. If not, then we have to let go. I asked God that if He wants us to keep praying for each other, then the orchid plant my ex gifted me will bloom 3 flowers before the end of the year. Up until then, that orchid has not bloomed for three and a half years, despite the fact that I've been faithfully tending to it. Within a couple weeks of my prayer, the orchid plant began budding, and you guessed it: I ended up with 3 blooms.

Despite this sign giving us confirmation of our future, we're left even more confused. How do we even pray for each other at this point? Isn't praying for "us" praying for divorce or his wife's death? How can this situation even work? How can God not intervene in their marriage before it came to this if He intended for us to be together?
When you're involved with someone that's married you pretty much center your prayers and outlook around seeking confirmation that this is what God intends. But I can tell you that Nothing you see happen is a sign from God. Nothing. You're flat out lying to yourself of you think for even a second God is behind your adulterous relationship.
The reality is you want what you want, right or wrong, and will look for any tiny excuse to justify it. One of these days you're going to look back and spend the rest of your life asking yourself "how could I have been so stupid?". And that whole regret will play over and over and over the rest of your life.

Also, have you considers if his wife is in another country that he's using you and if he ever had to go back for good he would leave you behind? Have you ever thought if he's married and cheating that he has already shown he's not faithful so what makes you so special that he would be faithful to you if you got together? Or even now? I mean he agreed to marry another woman while with you. He's already cheated on you.

It's up to you to decide if you're going to do the right thing or continue sinning and suggest God is for, and aiding, you in your sin. And to suggest that you're incapable of keeping apart is bull. Even if you run into one another by chance nothing requires you stop and talk or get together again later. That's Choice on your end. So let's not pretend you're together because you can't help it.
 
Apr 14, 2018
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#60
When you're involved with someone that's married you pretty much center your prayers and outlook around seeking confirmation that this is what God intends. But I can tell you that Nothing you see happen is a sign from God. Nothing. You're flat out lying to yourself of you think for even a second God is behind your adulterous relationship.
The reality is you want what you want, right or wrong, and will look for any tiny excuse to justify it. One of these days you're going to look back and spend the rest of your life asking yourself "how could I have been so stupid?". And that whole regret will play over and over and over the rest of your life.

Also, have you considers if his wife is in another country that he's using you and if he ever had to go back for good he would leave you behind? Have you ever thought if he's married and cheating that he has already shown he's not faithful so what makes you so special that he would be faithful to you if you got together? Or even now? I mean he agreed to marry another woman while with you. He's already cheated on you.

It's up to you to decide if you're going to do the right thing or continue sinning and suggest God is for, and aiding, you in your sin. And to suggest that you're incapable of keeping apart is bull. Even if you run into one another by chance nothing requires you stop and talk or get together again later. That's Choice on your end. So let's not pretend you're together because you can't help it.
Thank you.

I'm definitely asking God to aid us in my relationship with him as brother and sister, and to alleviate us of the feelings of romance that we have for each other. The points you've pointed out have been discussed in the thread, if you are curious to understand my prayer request.