When you don’t know what to pray for anymore

Husband moved out a week ago, after an ugly fight.

With God’s grace, we arranged to meet peacefully last night with our 13-year-old son. We confessed that we have handled ourselves badly. We also prayed together as a family before me and husband hugged and prayed for each other. Husband is still staying out.

I used to pray for husband’s repentance and to come home. However, last night, I realised husband is remorseful but he did not offer to stop contacting the other woman (she lives overseas) nor ask to reconcile. He admitted that he was a wretched man and he deserves to die. He cried and said he doesn’t want to break up the family. It seems he knows he is wrong but would rather be punished than change.

Husband has always been close to God. He serves in church and wakes up early to do his bible studies. We also read the bible and do daily devotion as a family every night.

Up till now I have not approached my pastors for help as I do not want to hurt my husband. I am also looking out for another church - how do I go to my church alone when we have been attending it as a family for almost 20 years?

Husband has said he will be asking to step down from his duty in church as it is not right even though he will still help out.

I see God’s wisdom in this arrangement. With the peace that He has given me, I realised that it is not just the affair that is causing the separation - the woman is not even staying in the same country! There are issues that me and my husband have to work on.

So now everyday as I wake up to another round of emptiness, I look to God and wonder “what do I pray for now?”

Lord please bless this prayer, In Jesus Holy name, Amen!

I just prayed for you sis...I still believe that God will restore back your marriage. I will continue to pray for you ❤




God bless you and your family ❤

Your pastors and counselors won't let this go public, so do seek a trusted pastor for support. Hopefully you can find an experienced older woman to confide in. It's up to you to decide to voluntarily let it be known. Resist spiraling down in shame, as the older people in your church are sure to have seen this before and will have empathy and sympathy for you. They know the separation and lack of seeking counsel is your husband's fault because it's his duty to adore you and to not change as the shifting shadows. Keep respecting him as that is your duty. I think you should continue attending your church, and when the news does get out somehow, your REAL friends will stick by your side and you will be blessed by that. I suggest you pray for God's spiritual and emotional support, for your marriage to be miraculously healed, and for your husband to repent and re-commit. We know God is in agreement with that. Ask and keep on asking. I've seen marriages seemingly irresistibly pried apart, and marriages that have been miraculously restored even after separation. I will pray the prayers I suggested. I will print this as a desk reminder and keep you in prayer, I promise.

Perhaps give your husband time. As humans we tend to look at the present and forget that things can change. Your husband may need time to get to the point he needs to be to make right choices. Just because he hasn't done it when you think he should doesn't mean he won't. Keep praying for him and keep praying for guidance. No matter what your husband decides God already knows and is working things out for you even now.

Pray for Gods mercy and for his perfect will to be done.