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May 25, 2015
5,860
516
113
#1
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


134781803_10157296339281887_1783302424884282685_n.jpg You will get out.
 

UCA4J

Well-known member
Nov 15, 2020
1,293
229
63
Newcastle, NSW, Australia
#2
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


View attachment 224078 You will get out.
you win 🏆
 

up

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2019
4,102
2,459
113
#3
that's awesome, very happy and proud of you!!
BTW, you can text me with book length texting😁
 

shineyourlight

Senior Member
May 25, 2015
5,860
516
113
#4
that's awesome, very happy and proud of you!!
BTW, you can text me with book length texting😁
Haha, well, aren't you just the sweetest ;)

After all the healing I've experienced, though, I text the way I want to regardless :p
 

up

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2019
4,102
2,459
113
#5
Haha, well, aren't you just the sweetest ;)

After all the healing I've experienced, though, I text the way I want to regardless :p
oh snagppage!
thank you kindly and aren't we all sweet lol...
like the way you conveyed that - also, just give me a pinch on my cheek with a smile, I don't mind 😊😉
aaans, do you re-read your texts after you sent them to see if they make sense, sometimes my texting cracks myself up!
😀
 

shineyourlight

Senior Member
May 25, 2015
5,860
516
113
#6
oh snagppage!
thank you kindly and aren't we all sweet lol...
like the way you conveyed that - also, just give me a pinch on my cheek with a smile, I don't mind 😊😉
aaans, do you re-read your texts after you sent them to see if they make sense, sometimes my texting cracks myself up!
😀
Not really - it really depends on the person. I think if I'm texting someone I care for, I over-analyze my texts. I think that's the woman in me. We tend to be overthinkers sometimes. ;) :p
 

up

Well-known member
Oct 8, 2019
4,102
2,459
113
#7
Not really - it really depends on the person. I think if I'm texting someone I care for, I over-analyze my texts. I think that's the woman in me. We tend to be overthinkers sometimes. ;):p
great answer, I getcha...
as a man i overthink too when talking/texing/replying and I do get shy sometimes too and yet somedays, ahhh, not so much lol...
if that makes sense... when I care for someone
😉😊😇
 

shineyourlight

Senior Member
May 25, 2015
5,860
516
113
#8
great answer, I getcha...
as a man i overthink too when talking/texing/replying and I do get shy sometimes too and yet days ahhh, not so much lol...
if that makes sense... when I care for someone
😉😊😇
Yeah, I don't think I get shy - but sometimes, I rethink about the text and think that I shouldn't have sent it. Haha.
 

BrotherMike

Be Still and Know
Jan 8, 2018
1,299
1,374
113
#9
Good for you in having the confidence to get out of a situation you didn’t want to be in. Two years ago Dec 2018 I did the same. I got out of a toxic situation that I knew I didn’t want to ever be in. Manipulation, deceit, extreme laziness, co-dependent of her mom and would tell her lies to have her say things to me that was not true, whenever I did something good she would belittle it, she really only wanted me for my help and the help I gave was not enough she wanted more so she could just relax and text her mom all day. I had enough and I walked out. I learned some valuable lessons and I will never ignore red flags again. The meme is so true, we have the power to make choices to make sure we are not mistreated and treated with kindness and respect. We don’t have to put up with abuse. Thank you for sharing your story and I pray it gives those who are reading this going through abuse to get help and if need be get out.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
33,562
11,325
113
66
Tennessee
#10
EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS NEVER, EVER OKAY.


You CAN get out.
You WILL get out.
You ARE going to be okay.

Two years ago on this day, I ended a relationship to where on the outside, people thought we were the cutest together. I stood by him in job searches, I stood by him in his hard times, and I stood by him right after graduating college. And I did it with a smile on my face in front of people.
But, behind closed doors, I was faced with belittling, verbal, and emotional abuse. He took off his mask.

He gaslighted, making me question my sanity after he would do something awful, he would give me silent treatments, withhold physical touch, yelled at me in public because my texts were either too short, too medium, or too long.....and he kept me isolated from my family and from my friends and made my mind think that they were against me....because HE said so.

Until one day, I said, "Enough!"

I got out.
I went to counseling.
I started healing.
I didn't give up. I prevailed.

Two years ago, I started this healing journey and today, I can tell you: I am healed, I am whole, and I will NEVER take that path ever again.

You are NOT alone, even though you are scared.
You. are. loved.


View attachment 224078 You will get out.
You have given wise counsel based on your own experience.
 
Mar 13, 2014
33,562
11,325
113
66
Tennessee
#12
I certainly agree with you my friend. There is always the risk of heartbreak when entering a relationship. She does seem to be well on the road to recovery from this most abusive relationship. In the end it may turn into a positive as she is learning more about herself and what are important things to look for when considering entering into a loving and enduring relationship. It took me years to recover from my divorce in 1984 after 6 1/2 years of physical and verbal abuse.
 
May 25, 2015
5,860
516
113
#13
Aw, shucks. You'll make me blush.

I certainly agree with you my friend. There is always the risk of heartbreak when entering a relationship. She does seem to be well on the road to recovery from this most abusive relationship. In the end it may turn into a positive as she is learning more about herself and what are important things to look for when considering entering into a loving and enduring relationship. It took me years to recover from my divorce in 1984 after 6 1/2 years of physical and verbal abuse.
Aw, thank you! Those are sweet words :)

It actually opened up my eyes to my Dad's narcissism. As an adult, I've had healthy relationships, but I was in a dark season of my life: My aunt just committed suicide, and I ended my relationship with my parents temporarily. I was in a season where I felt alone and scared, and I was vulnerable. I started dating a guy too quickly (which is unlike me), and I regretted it within a month but I stayed for a year.

After the breakup, I was a mess. Not that I wasn't glad the relationship was over, but something in me was bonding with someone who was toxic (It's called trauma bonding and it's when ongoing cycles of abuse in which the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment creates powerful emotional bonds that are resistant to change.) I knew I needed to work on that and to end the trauma bonding and work on myself.

Lots of healing, lots of self-care and self-affirmations, and lots and lots of Jesus. And I'm standing whole and strong and I will never go back to that place ever again.