Another testimony about anger

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Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#1
I was born in a horrible place, surrounded by horrible people, who often did the most horrific things. Because of this environment, I was very angry; because of that anger, I survived. I had to fight a whole school bus full of white kids once, and not only did I get kicked off the bus for defending myself, but I got expelled from the fourth grade as well. Earlier that day,a blonde, blue-eyed six grader had threatened to kill me with a baseball bat. "Do it," I said quietly. He had no idea why I wasn't afraid. He didn't understand that his evil was tiny and pitiful compared to what I'd already seen. That boy had never had to live in a world where every woman and girl he knew had been, or would be raped and or beaten, some multiple times. He never had to fight for his life against grown men for no reason. He'd never had to realize that every man he knew was likely to try and beat him, rape him, or kill him because they'd all been in prison. He never had to learn that life was only less miserable if he was crazier and or tougher than everyone else around him. He didn't know that the world belonged to him and his people, and that we would only get some if we were crazy enough to take it by force. But he would learn. Yes, I was so very angry for so many years. I remember, 12 years old and 150 pounds, watching 6 foot, 200 pound man hitting my 5 foot, 100 pound cousin while their two children screamed and cried. My eyes turned red, and I blacked out. When I came to, I had him by the throat, and was punching his mangled face with my bloody right fist. "Please don't hit me any more," he begged through his sons. As I stood up, I saw that he'd pissed himself. "If you EVER touch this woman again, I'll kill you! Understand!!" "Yes," he cried, "just don't hurt me any more.". From then on, people feared me, except for some of the crazier ones, but they came around. I remember shaking my fist at the sky, thinking, I'm so angry I could kill the whole world. All the murder, beatings, rape, child molestation, and every other evil thing I'd seen so much from the time I was a little child kept making me angrier and angrier-until one day I realized I was sick unto death. At that moment, I reached my hands up to the sky, because I thought that was where God was, and when I cried out to him, He answered!!! I felt an immediate peace, and all that anger was gone, poof! I realized I needed something to replace it, so I ran down the street to Evaleen's house and knocked on her door. That tiny woman's eyes were.so piercing, and I was so confused! " You go to church, right?" I stuttered. Her eyes lit up, as she realized something had happened. "Yes! I'm going at 6 tonight. I'll pick you up.". "OK," I mumbled, as I went back to my drug dealer boss's house. I still get angry today, but it's nothing like it once was, and God's Holy Spirit convicts me whenever I try to hold on to it. He brings me to tears now-instead of violence. He gave me a new heart that can't even say cross words without feeling pain for those who hear them. I can cry for the hurts of others today, and for the joy of being filled with His Spirit today. Reading His Word fills me with joy. Praying for others fills me with joy. Witnessing to the lost fills me with joy. Even when I can't feel that joy, I know by faith that I have it, and when I remember that truth it returns to me again and again, a joy that passes understanding, a joy unspeakable and full of glory! Glory be to God our Father, in the name of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, amen!
 

Hungry

Senior Member
Nov 26, 2012
1,185
42
48
#2
I was born in a horrible place, surrounded by horrible people, who often did the most horrific things. Because of this environment, I was very angry; because of that anger, I survived. I had to fight a whole school bus full of white kids once, and not only did I get kicked off the bus for defending myself, but I got expelled from the fourth grade as well. Earlier that day,a blonde, blue-eyed six grader had threatened to kill me with a baseball bat. "Do it," I said quietly. He had no idea why I wasn't afraid. He didn't understand that his evil was tiny and pitiful compared to what I'd already seen. That boy had never had to live in a world where every woman and girl he knew had been, or would be raped and or beaten, some multiple times. He never had to fight for his life against grown men for no reason. He'd never had to realize that every man he knew was likely to try and beat him, rape him, or kill him because they'd all been in prison. He never had to learn that life was only less miserable if he was crazier and or tougher than everyone else around him. He didn't know that the world belonged to him and his people, and that we would only get some if we were crazy enough to take it by force. But he would learn. Yes, I was so very angry for so many years. I remember, 12 years old and 150 pounds, watching 6 foot, 200 pound man hitting my 5 foot, 100 pound cousin while their two children screamed and cried. My eyes turned red, and I blacked out. When I came to, I had him by the throat, and was punching his mangled face with my bloody right fist. "Please don't hit me any more," he begged through his sons. As I stood up, I saw that he'd pissed himself. "If you EVER touch this woman again, I'll kill you! Understand!!" "Yes," he cried, "just don't hurt me any more.". From then on, people feared me, except for some of the crazier ones, but they came around. I remember shaking my fist at the sky, thinking, I'm so angry I could kill the whole world. All the murder, beatings, rape, child molestation, and every other evil thing I'd seen so much from the time I was a little child kept making me angrier and angrier-until one day I realized I was sick unto death. At that moment, I reached my hands up to the sky, because I thought that was where God was, and when I cried out to him, He answered!!! I felt an immediate peace, and all that anger was gone, poof! I realized I needed something to replace it, so I ran down the street to Evaleen's house and knocked on her door. That tiny woman's eyes were.so piercing, and I was so confused! " You go to church, right?" I stuttered. Her eyes lit up, as she realized something had happened. "Yes! I'm going at 6 tonight. I'll pick you up.". "OK," I mumbled, as I went back to my drug dealer boss's house. I still get angry today, but it's nothing like it once was, and God's Holy Spirit convicts me whenever I try to hold on to it. He brings me to tears now-instead of violence. He gave me a new heart that can't even say cross words without feeling pain for those who hear them. I can cry for the hurts of others today, and for the joy of being filled with His Spirit today. Reading His Word fills me with joy. Praying for others fills me with joy. Witnessing to the lost fills me with joy. Even when I can't feel that joy, I know by faith that I have it, and when I remember that truth it returns to me again and again, a joy that passes understanding, a joy unspeakable and full of glory! Glory be to God our Father, in the name of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, amen!
Amen Brother. May your pain teach you but not control you. Anger is just a chemical reaction to fear, enabling your body to take action. Figuratively, it loads the gun, but we pull the trigger. Trusting in God eliminates fear, stopping the gun from being loaded. Peace is truly achieved by faith management, not anger management. Be blessed.
 
L

loyaldisciple

Guest
#3
I was born in a horrible place, surrounded by horrible people, who often did the most horrific things. Because of this environment, I was very angry; because of that anger, I survived. I had to fight a whole school bus full of white kids once, and not only did I get kicked off the bus for defending myself, but I got expelled from the fourth grade as well. Earlier that day,a blonde, blue-eyed six grader had threatened to kill me with a baseball bat. "Do it," I said quietly. He had no idea why I wasn't afraid. He didn't understand that his evil was tiny and pitiful compared to what I'd already seen. That boy had never had to live in a world where every woman and girl he knew had been, or would be raped and or beaten, some multiple times. He never had to fight for his life against grown men for no reason. He'd never had to realize that every man he knew was likely to try and beat him, rape him, or kill him because they'd all been in prison. He never had to learn that life was only less miserable if he was crazier and or tougher than everyone else around him. He didn't know that the world belonged to him and his people, and that we would only get some if we were crazy enough to take it by force. But he would learn. Yes, I was so very angry for so many years. I remember, 12 years old and 150 pounds, watching 6 foot, 200 pound man hitting my 5 foot, 100 pound cousin while their two children screamed and cried. My eyes turned red, and I blacked out. When I came to, I had him by the throat, and was punching his mangled face with my bloody right fist. "Please don't hit me any more," he begged through his sons. As I stood up, I saw that he'd pissed himself. "If you EVER touch this woman again, I'll kill you! Understand!!" "Yes," he cried, "just don't hurt me any more.". From then on, people feared me, except for some of the crazier ones, but they came around. I remember shaking my fist at the sky, thinking, I'm so angry I could kill the whole world. All the murder, beatings, rape, child molestation, and every other evil thing I'd seen so much from the time I was a little child kept making me angrier and angrier-until one day I realized I was sick unto death. At that moment, I reached my hands up to the sky, because I thought that was where God was, and when I cried out to him, He answered!!! I felt an immediate peace, and all that anger was gone, poof! I realized I needed something to replace it, so I ran down the street to Evaleen's house and knocked on her door. That tiny woman's eyes were.so piercing, and I was so confused! " You go to church, right?" I stuttered. Her eyes lit up, as she realized something had happened. "Yes! I'm going at 6 tonight. I'll pick you up.". "OK," I mumbled, as I went back to my drug dealer boss's house. I still get angry today, but it's nothing like it once was, and God's Holy Spirit convicts me whenever I try to hold on to it. He brings me to tears now-instead of violence. He gave me a new heart that can't even say cross words without feeling pain for those who hear them. I can cry for the hurts of others today, and for the joy of being filled with His Spirit today. Reading His Word fills me with joy. Praying for others fills me with joy. Witnessing to the lost fills me with joy. Even when I can't feel that joy, I know by faith that I have it, and when I remember that truth it returns to me again and again, a joy that passes understanding, a joy unspeakable and full of glory! Glory be to God our Father, in the name of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, amen!
Is that why you and I go at it sometimes brother ? Sounds like we both been through a few scuffles. I admire your courage in writing that. Happy to see you wised up and found the right path. Now don't ever let anything take you off it.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,821
1,731
113
#4
Sorry Didy, I couldn't read the wall of text. :( Oh, Magenta, you're needed.. lol
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#6
Is that why you and I go at it sometimes brother ? Sounds like we both been through a few scuffles. I admire your courage in writing that. Happy to see you wised up and found the right path. Now don't ever let anything take you off it.
The only reason, sir, I ever debated with you is because you clearly lacked any empathy or compassion for women. Did you formerly go by the name Pontiac? You can lie to me, but don't lie before God.
 

longtrekker

Senior Member
Sep 23, 2014
287
41
28
#7
.
Hi Didymous

Thanks for the wonderful testimony – it shows Gods great power! I'm glad u found your way to CC - we're the better for it.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,930
1,485
113
63
Florida
#8
That was a great testimony brother. You have spent a great deal of time in a horrible environment and by the grace of God you were delivered from the anger at having seen such evil cruelty. Glory to God our Father, in the name of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ indeed. Amen to that. Thank you for having the courage to tell this story as I know that it had to be painful for you to do so.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#9
.
Hi Didymous

Thanks for the wonderful testimony – it shows Gods great power! I'm glad u found your way to CC - we're the better for it.
Hi, long trekker,thank you. I'm blessed to be here with so many wonder-full people.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#10
That was a great testimony brother. You have spent a great deal of time in a horrible environment and by the grace of God you were delivered from the anger at having seen such evil cruelty. Glory to God our Father, in the name of His Son, our Lord Jesus Christ indeed. Amen to that. Thank you for having the courage to tell this story as I know that it had to be painful for you to do so.
Thank you sir, and praise God!
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
1,695
77
48
#11
Hello Didy, your testimony will help so many! Thank you for sharing it with all of us. :)

Hurting people will ONLY listen to other people that really know their pain and how to break free from it!

Get ready, a lot of people now know that you know their pain - they will listen to you and God will give you the words to say.

You are loved and accepted! I am blessed to call you, brother!

So glad you reached up to the sky for the Lord! Smart move!! :)
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#12
Hi, lion hugger lady! Thanks for stopping by. Always good to see you!
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,606
424
83
#13
Hello Didy, your testimony will help so many! Thank you for sharing it with all of us. :)

Hurting people will ONLY listen to other people that really know their pain and how to break free from it!

Get ready, a lot of people now know that you know their pain - they will listen to you and God will give you the words to say.

You are loved and accepted! I am blessed to call you, brother!

So glad you reached up to the sky' for the Lord! Smart move!! :)
=========================================================

this Loving 'heart-felt' Post was obviously replied to by an un-loving- Poster -
who is an imposter and an advocate for un-Godlyness...be on your guard, times are changing, and so
are the majority who are addicted to the 'spirder's -web-',,,'...
this is 'the real 'TELL'...
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
62,821
1,731
113
#14
Obviously you misunderstood the reply.. I didn't see anything unloving in his reply to Lafftur. Why do you say he's an imposter and an "advocate for ungodliness"?


=========================================================

this Loving 'heart-felt' Post was obviously replied to by an un-loving- Poster -
who is an imposter and an advocate for un-Godlyness...be on your guard, times are changing, and so
are the majority who are addicted to the 'spirder's -web-',,,'...
this is 'the real 'TELL'...
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,930
1,485
113
63
Florida
#15
Obviously you misunderstood the reply.. I didn't see anything unloving in his reply to Lafftur. Why do you say he's an imposter and an "advocate for ungodliness"?
I didn't either. She is always saying that it's time to fix dinner for her Lion. I guess that makes her a Lion hugger. Absolutely nothing inappropriate in his reply.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#16
Amen Brother. May your pain teach you but not control you. Anger is just a chemical reaction to fear, enabling your body to take action. Figuratively, it loads the gun, but we pull the trigger. Trusting in God eliminates fear, stopping the gun from being loaded. Peace is truly achieved by faith management, not anger management. Be blessed.
Hi, Hungry, and thanks for your input. God has helped me densely with everything I once suffered from(flashbacks, anxiety and or panic attacks, all the biochemical problems, etc..,). PTSD was a huge problem at first, but He also helped minimize that. God can do all things, and I'm happy with the changes He did and is still doing in me.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#17
=========================================================

this Loving 'heart-felt' Post was obviously replied to by an un-loving- Poster -
who is an imposter and an advocate for un-Godlyness...be on your guard, times are changing, and so
are the majority who are addicted to the 'spirder's -web-',,,'...
this is 'the real 'TELL'...
Loyal disciple, I appreciate your input. I've never had issue with you-only the way you seemed to value lording it over women more than considering their feelings, but I'm done with speaking to you about that. I'll ask you again, though: Did you formerly go by the username Pontiac, are not?
 

Miri

Senior Member
Jul 22, 2012
7,975
809
113
UK age 49
#18
Great testimonh Didymous.


It reminded me of the book, “The cross and the switch blade”.

I dont know if you have ever read it, its about how a pastor went to preach
the gospel to the gangs, who were full of murdereous thoughts, drugs, rape etc.
 

Didymous

Senior Member
Feb 22, 2018
2,509
64
48
#19
Yes! I read that when I was a child, long before I was saved. Dave Wilkerson, I believe, was the pastor, and Nicky Cruz was the main gang member.
 

Lafftur

Senior Member
Apr 18, 2017
1,695
77
48
#20
Hi, lion hugger lady! Thanks for stopping by. Always good to see you!
Didy, thank you for your very sweet reply! Always good to see you, too!

Your CC friend, the "Laughing Lion Hugger" ;)