I Believe Because He Made Me Believe!

I can not take any credit for what the Lord has done to me, nor have I fully realized what He has really done!

I have had my mind blown away by many things he has done, each one changed me!

Many of of the things left me undone, speechless, and in awe of a very awesome God!

And I give all the glory to Jesus, who chose to reveal Himself to me in such a mighty way as this!

I Believe Because He made me Believe!

I did not ask Him to do all these things, He chose to do them to me!

Before I even reached the age of eighteen the Lord powerfully came into my life and revealed Himself to me.

My childhood was full of abuse, not just by my family, but by many different sources, but mostly by men.

By the time I was eighteen I had been molested at least four times,
been raped at least three times, one of which came from a mentally ill man that raped me in a abandoned house,
then took me home to my family and moved in.
For about a week and a half, this man took my whole family hostage and continued to rape me, even in front of them.
I was twelve when this happend!

I was the age of seven when the Lord first revealed Himself to me,

He came to me as a child forsaken, very lonily, and very much already abused,

A child already dead inside,
lost and without hope,
full of fear, and no one to save me!

At the age of seven I lived in constant fear of my own father,
I really thought that he was going to kill me!

My spirit was broken, and I was a child dead inside, all hope was gone!

But the Lord had mercy on me!

He revealed Himself to me through this woman I had never met before.

She came out of no where, and invited me to a vacation bible study she was having at her house. I asked her what it was, and she told me it was a place where you could learn about God your Father.

I was like, What do you mean, God my Father?
She just said, " come and see!"

I ran in and asked my father if I could go, of course, he said, "NO!"

But something made me go anyway and I sneaked to her house!

As the lady began to share about God, His presence filled the room and He came into my heart, a touch I had never felt before, love!

The most amazing thing, Love, it changes things!

From that day on, I became a Daddys girl!

At the age of seven I spent my days talking to God, and walking on the beach.
Just me and my Daddy!
I asked Him all kind of things that a little girl would ask her father.
Daddy, "Why did you make one sea shell look like this, and the other look like that?
Why did you put sand on the beach?
Why does my father hate me so much, all I want to do is have him hold me, and love me?

The Lord did hold me in my time of great need, and it caused me to believe!

I was filled with the baptism of the Holy Ghost and speaking in tongues when I was twelve years old.
I did not even know what it was!
I was filled in the basement of a convolestant hospital when a woman laid hands on me and prayed!

It is also when my life started being bumbarded with a series of attacks and things were the most challenging to my faith.

By the age of ten I had already been smoking pot and drinking!
By the age of thirteen I was a daily drinker!

What else would a person do to cope with all the things I had gone through. I was a child and I thought as a child.
I self medicated myself! The Lord did not turn His back on me because of it, in fact, He's the one who gave me what I needed to overcome it.
My fear of men was overwelming and very much controled me!

At the age of sixteen I tried to make the vivid pictures of my repeated abuse stop, I began drinking really heavy, and at the time I did not know that drinking could kill you, if you drank to much.
All I was interested in was not dealing with the pain.

I drank myself to death!
This was the first time I died.
I woke up in the hospital with this black man sitting by my side, waiting for me to wake up!
The fist thing I heard when I woke up was this black man asking me,
"Do you know what kind of miralce you are?"
Of course, I just looked at him, puzzled!
I did not know what had happend, all I knew is that I had been drinking!
He said, that it was medically impossible for me to be here or to survive what had happend to me.
He said that I should be dead, or a veggie with major brain damage for the rest of my life.
He told me that when a persons blood alcohol level reaches 4.5 there heart, lungs and brain shuts down, usaully resulting in death from the alcohol poisioning.
He told me that when they first brought me in to the hospital, I had a level of 7.5 and that I had also overdosed on speed.

At the age of seventeen I died again,
I had been drinking again, not much though, but alcohol and hot tubs don't go good together, I found out!
I was with some friends, sitting in a hot tub.
My friends decided they were done sitting in the hot tub and decided to go inside the house.
I told them that I was enjoying it still,
I told them to just go inside and I'll be there in a minute.
About twenty minutes after my friend went inside, the said they started to question where I was, and went to look outside.

What they found was me floating face down in the water!
I was dead!
What happend next, change my life!
I saw myself floating face down in the water! From above!
My first reaction to seeing myself floating face down was confusion,

I was like, "That's me!
No it's not! I said,
but as I looked, I saw my friends come out of the house and heard thier screams, Oh God No! No! Oh God Lee don't do this to me!

As this was going on, I felt the presence of God behind me, when I went to turn, a voice told me not too, and He said, to me,
Death is not what it seems!
The next thing I know I'm surrounded by paramedics, and police!
When they took me to the hospital I did not even have a drop of water in my lungs, nor did I have any brain damage from being dead so long. It was two weeks later that I check myself into a drug rehab. for teens.

I have been out on my own since I was seventeen, the drug rehab. center made sure that I would not return to my parents.

At the age of seventeen I was so full of the fear of men that I would sit up at night with a shot gun waiting for some man to come in my window to hurt me all over again.

I had vivid pictures of my abuse that haughted me everyday.
Post Tramatic Stress a monster!

You might ask, where was God, in all this, and I will tell you,

He was with me!

How else could I be telling you this story!

I am now fourty two years old, and free from all fear!

I should be dead,

I should be a veggie, unable to move,

I should be crazy and lost in some hospital somewhere, full of meds.

It has been a long road, with many turns, and twists, many ups and downs.

I have faced many things, most of the time alone, at least where people have been concerned.

The only sure and stable thing in my life has been my Father God, and my friend Jesus!

They have always kept thier words to me, I will never leave you, nor forsake you!
I have become more than an overcomer, and I have come to believe, there is nothing impossible to those who believe in the name of Jesus!

If I was to tell you all the things the Lord has done for me, it would take me at least a year.

This story is not even a fourth of it,
I'm 42, this is only eighteen years of it.

My life has been full of signs and wonders,
I believe!
Because He made Me Believe!

Thanks for sharing, Alicia. Truly, even when we go astray alot, as you have testified, Jesus Christ is for Alicia as He is Our Good Shepherd into leading us back to Himself to learn of Him through the scriptures and of all His promises to us so that our love may abound more and more in the knowledge of Him since Jesus is our first love, the Bridegroom.

I bet your nickname would shine more of your faith in Christ Jesus if it was "JesusForAlicia".

As we walk in Christ Jesus, may He continue to help us prune away those things that distract and take our eyes off of Him so that we may be found resting in Him and abiding in Him... and may He help us in our witnessing as well so that the hearers may do the same by His grace.

John 20:28And Thomas answered and said unto him, My LORD and my God. 29Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed. 30And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book:

I had always wondered why those signs were not written so much, but then those are the after affects of the Gospel for believing in Jesus Christ. So that is why signs are not preached, but the Gospel of Jesus Christ for as verse 29 testifies.. "blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed".

John 3: 6That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit. 7Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again. 8The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh, and whither it goeth: so is every one that is born of the Spirit.

Hebrews 11:1Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen....6But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Ephesians 1: 12That we should be to the praise of his glory, who first trusted in Christ. 13In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise, 14Which is the earnest of our inheritance until the redemption of the purchased possession, unto the praise of his glory. 15Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints,

Galatians 3: 14That the blessing of Abraham might come on the Gentiles through Jesus Christ; that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith. .......26For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. 27For as many of you as have been baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

I only post this because not everyone will experience the same thing you did with God. That is probably why John did not bother to write about all those other signs that Jesus did because blessed are they that believe without signs for them to believe in Jesus and know they are saved. As you bear witness, may the Lord help you preach Him as the Good News to those that hear so that none of them walk away disappointed that God was not as "personal" as He was with you by those signs and wonders. Indeed, as you have experienced others like in the "Holy Laughter" movement, you can lean on Jesus to help you prune away those words that may be confused with that which you had declared was not of the Lord.

People look for assurances, but signs are not the way. It is by learning of Jesus through the scriptures of all His promises to us that we can learn to rest in Him as being His. Some believers will continue to look for signs whenever they become "carnal" for proof that everything is all right between them and God, but again... they should be resting in His promise of 1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

I have had prophetic dreams since I was a tot as the Holy Spirit in me was showing me things to come as they have come true, are coming true.. and well, because not all dreams are prophetic... still.. the ones that point to my relationship with Him, will come true as I trust Him to prevent me from falling and to present me faultless to His glory as the Good Shepherd He is as well as My Saviour. So like just because I post a reference of what God is dealing with me (John 16:13-14), that does not mean He will do it with everybody so that is why I do not speak of that much... as I need to decrease so that He may increase as I bear witness of my faith in Jesus Christ so that sinners may see their hope in Him and be converted to Him by believing in Him. That is the only way they can be saved... and blessed are they that have not seen Him nor any signs and wonders, but believe anyway.

You and I can get so excited with what God is doing with us and our lives, but not all my dreams were from God as some of them were of the devil... yukkie.... and vile... ugh... so then just because I am getting prophetic dreams.. that doesn't mean that all my dreams come from the Lord just as any further signs and wonders ... and maybe even some of the ones you had experienced before but yet to prune away as not of Him once the Lord shows you the commonality of the "holy laughter" movement to "discern" by His grace... so that your eyes are always on Him and nothing else nor serving nor testifying to glorify anything else in His name so that others that hear you, will only have their eyes on Jesus also.

The Lord has been with me even when I was tossed hither and thither by the deceitful doctrines of man, afflicted by other spirits, tempted by other spirits, "wowed" by other spirits and even sowing to the flesh, but the Lord Jesus is faithful as He led me out of all of that and as the song of Amazing Grace goes in the last stanza... through many dangers and toils and snares....I have already come.. tis grace that brought me safe this far and grace shall lead me Home.

So trust the Lord to continue to be Your Good Shepherd and put the right words on your mouth to speak so that those that hear will place their hopes in Him and believe, not needing any sign for assurances for blessed are they that have not seen Jesus, and yet believe.

I am trusting the Lord to help me speak less of my prophetic dreams so that my faith in Him may shine increasingly to bring Him the glory as Saviour and none towards my prophetic dream that it would take away that glory from Him as Saviour in case any hearer would think they need prophetic dreams to know that they are saved.

So as you read this below, not only is it a testimony of our life in Christ, but also of our reliance on Him to help us serve Him just as He helps us to live as His each day while resting in the fact that we have been bought with a price and sealed as His thus we are saved and thus His to present faultless to His glory.

Romans 9: 15For he saith to Moses, I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. 16So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy. 17For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. 18Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth.

Romans 10:8But what saith it? The word is nigh thee, even in thy mouth, and in thy heart: that is, the word of faith, which we preach; 9That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. 10For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. 12For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. 13For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. 14How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? 15And how shall they preach, except they be sent? as it is written, How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, and bring glad tidings of good things! 16But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Esaias saith, Lord, who hath believed our report? 17So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Psalm 19: 13Keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression. 14Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.

I trust Him to help me bear witness of Him so that sinners may place their hopes on Him to be converted to Christ by faith alone. Amen.

I don't really understand what your trying to tell me!

Can I ask You,

Why do you believe?

God Bless for sharing. How wonderful a father we have in God our father. He takes all and makes it good. He also is the only true father I have ever known. What a gift he has given us all. God bless. pickles

I have a memory of meeting Jesus when I was a tot. I do not know if it was a dream or a vision. In it, I loved being with the Lord, but my mother and father was crying for me to come back. I saw Jesus as He opened the book of the things to come if I had gone back. I was grieved with what I had seen when I became a teenager and as an adult. I said that I did not want to be seperated from Him, but my mother and father screamed all the more as other people behind them did also. The Lord answered "I'll see what I can do...", before I closed my eyes in tears and grieving over my future sins.

Was this incident before I woke up, being strangled by my own bedsheets? I know not. But I could see how it would have been since it was such a freak accident that my mother would have been blamed as suspicions would go around the family about who had done it. My death would have destroyed the family because I was concieved for the purpose of providing a child for my uncle... my dad's sister's husband. So wife sharing happened so that I may be a child for a childess couple. I even came across an argument of my realtives in the family room where they were making my mother cry. I being a tot, inquired as they try to say that she did a bad thing. I said that God will forgive her and so should they. They said that if I knew what she had done, I would not forgive her either, but I insisted that God will forgive my mother and that God loved her.. as I did too.

However, as time went on, I was kept as my mentality was not accepting that I belonged to another couple. They tried to "dump" me off at my uncle's house... as my inside was grieved as if I was being rejected. My mother had temper tantrums in the past yelling at me on a few occasion.. only a few.. that she had wished I was never born... so that was enough to make me feel alienated. It is a horrible feeling.

Anyway, more clues cropped up about my sordid beginnings.... but just sharing as to why if I had died that early morning in my bed by my own bedsheets, things would have gone south for the family as a whole.

From that time forth, God was answering my prayers as to why I was here ... one of those moments when I felt like.. why am I alive then? He had been showing me prophetic dreams that started coming true the moment we moved from Iowa to Pennsylvania. Even the night we moved, I dreant a dream that happened the exact same way the next morning, signifying from the Lord that the stage was set, the players were in place, and the die was cast.

On a few occasions since that time.. as an adult, I had asked the question again.. why am I here? I got the same answer several time.. "So that they may know why they were left behind."

So then as I am explaining all that the Lord has done for me, as dreams are coming true at a rapid pace like a woman in travail with child even now, I could talk about that which will profit no one because it is not happening to them. Not everyone will have dreams that turn prophetic or have a memory of meeting with Jesus in showing the future. And even as I am sharing this now... the reason why I believe... still... I believe. I could allow the evolution theory or false teachings to mislead me away from my faith in Jesus or I could have been overcome by my sowing to the flesh in the past, but Jesus is keeping me from falling as the faithful Good Shepherd He is.

So as I lean on Him to help share that which my brothers and sisters in Christ need to hear for their own relationship with the Lord.. what is of faith and what is not... what is sowing to the flesh.. and how one walks IN the Spirit... how any supernatural testimony on the internet or in person isn't going to be well received because it is not happening to them to profit nor help them grow in their relationship with the Lord as it could take their eyes off of Him to look for proof that they are His since there are so many spectacular testimonies that would sow doubts, causing many to ask,"why not me?"

Blessed are they that have not seen Him nor any signs and yet believe anway.

So then, by His grace, I shall speak less of myself and more of Him so that others may get to know Him and the power of His resurrection by living by faith in the Son of God and all His promises to us. I am not saying that what He did for us isn't important to us, but what He did for others is important for the them to hear, and we need to share that Good News more.

John 3:28Ye yourselves bear me witness, that I said, I am not the Christ, but that I am sent before him. 29He that hath the bride is the bridegroom: but the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice: this my joy therefore is fulfilled.
30He must increase, but I must decrease.

So as our joy is fulfilled since we believe, let us preach Him so that others may receive the same joy by believing in Him also without allowing anyone to use what God has done for us personally as a distraction.... since they could have made a big deal about John the Baptist since his origin is spectacular as well as his calling.

1 Corinthians 2:2For I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.

I should have e-mailed those posts to you and not put it out there for others to read.

I apologize for giving you an exhortation to be a better witness in public. I was thinking of those reading it as many are doubting their salvation unless something spectacular happens to them. Then I was thinking of how you may be witnessing to others in regards to that supernatural incident.

I do believe you are my sister in Christ and that the Lord has brought you through many dangers, toils, and snares, and like me.. it took Him some while for me to be made aware of some snare before I had to put it away... like the commitment to follow Christ.

I was led to believe that believing was not enough and that I was to show the seriousness of my belief in Jesus by "making " Him Lord of my life and so by making a public commitment to follow Jesus.. I did.

For the longest time, the Lord was trying to tell me something, but I wasn't able to receive the correction. I had quit the deacon twice for I felt like a fraud. I kept making a "re-commitment to follow Christ" but kept on failing.

Until one day in 1994, I had picked up a pamphlet that convicted me of the words of my mouth. It was by Bill Rudge Ministries as on the back of it, it led me to make a covenant with my mouth and so I did to not cuss ever again for I had picked up that habit to release some steam at the warehouse where I had worked whenever I was alone. But the very next day, I was worse than I ever was before.

Even the devil seemed to be putting thoughts in my head that I wasn't His for if I was His, God would have helped me keep my covenant with my mouth.

I stopped listening to the devil and asked the Lord why He wasn't helping me. He answered. It was not an audible voice, but from within: a silent still voice... "You made the covenant. You said you were going to do it. I made the Covenant and I said I am going to do it. All I asked from you is to believe on Me."

So I was humbled that day. Later .. as Promise Keepers was the talk of the two Bible studoes I was going to, I felt led to warn them. One catholic mason testified "Well, isn't a commitment like a promise?" That was the day that I was able to receive what the Lord was trying to tell me.

He set me free from my commitment to follow Christ as it will not be lord over me, but Jesus shall be. I have been restored to that relationship of trust whereas I live by faith in the Son of God so I can rest in Him and all his promises to me in helping me live as His as covered in His Covenant.

So.. do not be surprised if there are some things in your testimony that needs pruning away to be better witnesses of Him. I had seen a woman walk away from the Lord because she had believed that she had to get her life in order first before coming to Jesus. That commitment to follow Christ really make sinners look in themselves as seeing that they are not able. Thankfully, the Lord led me to tell her to come to Jesus as she was, a sinner in need of being saved from her sins. Sometime later, she did that as I thank Jesus for that as only He can cause the increase.

And I have read people had walked away from Jesus because they did not receive another baptism of the Holy Spirit that came with tongues and so they felt rejected and believed they were of the devil as they went into the occult.

So it is in that, I write to you an exhortation to be a better witness as only God can help us to be. It took Him a long time to correct my speech and to be a better witness.

Anyway.. I had thought I would e-mail this to you as well as post this apology in the thread. I hoped I did not discouraged you, but just to make you aware of how we.. even I.. in our witnessing... needs pruning so that others may see the hope and faith in Jesus Christ.

I love you in Christ Jesus

Baruch

Thank you for being so transparent and sharing with us. I hope others will be touched by your testimony, not because of eloquence of words but because of the power of God that radiates through the words of your testimony.

Thank You!

It's all about the grace of God,

and who I believe in, Jesus!

Jesus is the author and finnisher of my faith!

I keep my eyes on Him, and He raises me above the storm!

In His presence there is no fear,

and if my mind stays on Him,

I walk in peace even during the most troubling times.

I have found that when I look to anyone other than Jesus, for my answers, or my help,
I start to sink,
just like Peter did, when he got out of the boat and walked on the water!


I can say that everything the devil has meant for my harm, has been turned to my good!

In fact, If He had known what it was going to do,

he would of never done it!

The devil without even knowing it,

helped my faith grow.

He has defeated himself in my life!

Jesus has become my one true Love,

He is my everything!

My all and all!

That´s an awesome Testimony ! Thank you for sharing it!