If we are insane, it is for God's sake

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Apr 2, 2020
1,144
425
83
#1
So I guess this testimony is about how God used bipolar disorder to draw me to Him. I'm not going to go all the way back, but one of my biggest fears was the fear of abandonment. Because of this I kept mostly to myself and wouldn't get too close to anyone, and anyone who made the mistake of trying I would drive away and anything good in my life I would do everything I could to get it off my hands as quickly as possible. I fell into a job and worked just enough to keep myself alive and started drinking. I spent two years doing nothing but drinking and working just enough to not be homeless or hungry. And then one day after a girl I verbally abused on a dating website apologized to me and shook up my world with that act of grace I stopped drinking and picked up a Bible. I became obsessed with it and spent all the free time I had reading it. And I got some very strange ideas. Like that I wasn't supposed to sleep or eat because I was a new creature. This obviously led to some insane behavior, including me causing a scene in a movie theater by standing with my arms in the air shouting "MY WILL IS GODS WILL". I was arrested, held for a few hours and released in the middle of the night in a bad neighborhood. I wandered for a while barefoot and shirtless going through all sorts of crazy thoughts about the author of life until my family found me and took me to the mental hospital. There in the midst of my stupor someone, I'm not sure exactly who, told me that Jesus loved me. Again my world shattered, I broke down and cried and all of the crazy thoughts left me. After being held a few days I was released and I started going to church and kept it up for a while along with regular Bible reading but I fell off, drank again and started arguing with atheists about whether God existed or not online. I was pretty good at those arguments, got a few of them to not have any objections and admit that it was their sin that they were refusing to give up(one literally declaring "Well, I'm not quitting smoking weed.") but that was how I spent most of my days, drunk and beligerant. And then I stopped again, fell into another cycle though this time with much more clarity until the whole world fell away and shifted. I read a verse(matthew 11:23) and decided to put it to the test. I shouted at the mountain, I commanded it to move. Apparently my neighbors disapproved, because the next thing I knew I was being talked into an ambulance to be taken to a hospital. I promptly signed my name Jesus Christ because I was hid in Him and I awaited my fate. While waiting, I decided to ask for a Bible. The hospital staff dug around and found one somewhere, I open it up and see the copyright date is my birth year and the cover is my favorite color. I read this Bible, but this time I'm deliberate. I ask God what to read and He tells me Hebrews, so I stay in Hebrews through my whole stay in the hospital. Along the way I preach the gospel, handed over my Bible for a young woman to read and sit with her while she sobs, and even get seranaded by the devil. I come out stronger than before and with a clearer idea of what it means to follow Jesus. This time I come out and begin to volunteer to help and other acts of service looking for opportunities to share the gospel. About two weeks after getting out of the hospital I'm reading Matthew and I get to Matthew 11:23 and guess what? An earthquake in the mountain I shouted at. Through my illness God also revealed to me who I was supposed to marry, but this story is long enough. So that's the story of how God used my disease to draw me to Him.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#2
That is one heck of a testimony my friend:D Even through falling many times in your journey God continued to use you and while you may have appeared insane to others you were being drawn closer and closer to God. Even when being drunk God used you, even when in a mental hospital God used you and you kept at it regardless of the opposition.

I have to admit I would not have the guts to do all of that but perhaps that is simply your calling. It reminds me of the power and authority we have in Christ
 
Apr 2, 2020
1,144
425
83
#3
That is one heck of a testimony my friend:D Even through falling many times in your journey God continued to use you and while you may have appeared insane to others you were being drawn closer and closer to God. Even when being drunk God used you, even when in a mental hospital God used you and you kept at it regardless of the opposition.

I have to admit I would not have the guts to do all of that but perhaps that is simply your calling. It reminds me of the power and authority we have in Christ
I'm not sure I would describe much of what I did as having guts. If there was a boldness to my actions it was the Spirits leading and making me to stand. All I can say is I am thankful God was more stubborn in pursuing me than I was running away from Him.
 

Blain

The Word Weaver
Aug 28, 2012
19,177
2,539
113
#4
I'm not sure I would describe much of what I did as having guts. If there was a boldness to my actions it was the Spirits leading and making me to stand. All I can say is I am thankful God was more stubborn in pursuing me than I was running away from Him.
That is usually how it works lol. I can be very stubborn sometimes and God knows my hard headiness well but he is a persistent one XD