My Testimony

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MichaelOwen

Senior Member
Nov 6, 2017
737
41
0
#1
I was really nervous about writing this, but I know the Lord is giving me the strength and the courage to type it. For the longest time, I have struggled with pride, and I still fight it from time to time, and I feel the best way to get rid of pride is to spit it out, because if you swallow, you still have it.....and this may be lengthy, but please bear with me on it.

Firstly, I want to apologize to anyone I may have offended on here with any posts I have made, and I ask for your forgiveness, and if I have been mean or have been out of character with anyone, I truly apologize.

My name is Michael Owen White, I was born in the city of Huntsville, Alabama, and I was raised in the southern tips of the Appalachian mountains in a small rural town named New Market. I grew up fast, as so many of us did, and I was raised with true southern boy roots (southern accent to boot), lived on a small farm tucked in between the valley of two mountains. My parents, God bless them, were, and still are, very traditional Christians, and have been since the late 70's and early 80's, as their parents were very traditional southern Christian folk, the likes of which are a dying breed in today's generations. They brought me up to say yes ma'am, and no ma'am, and yes sir and no sir, and if I was rude and didn't reiterate those words, I got a hand to the mouth or a slap on the rear to straighten me out.

When I was younger, I wasn't necessarily a hellion so to speak, but I wasn't necessarily the nicest kid you could want to associate with. If someone picked on me or made me mad, I spat in their face, or bit their hand, or kicked them, just being a kid acting out, not knowing any better. If my mother or father got word of me doing something and getting in trouble at school......at home, it was punishment times 2. I would be quiet a lot of times, but then get carried away with things, and sometimes I would be a loud mouth kid asking WAY too many questions about things. But the whole time, my parents made it a point to keep me and my older brother in church and raise us up the way the felt the Lord was leading them in their heart. I wasn't always so kind to them either, I talked back so much, and I always pitched a fit when things didn't go my way or I didn't get what I wanted. But looking back, I realize how truly blessed I was with parents like them, they stood on the Word and the showed so much love to me and my brother and I was truly blessed.

When I was 10 years old, I remember I was outside the church we were members at, at that time, and I was playing on a playground, and I slipped and hit my head, but I remember thinking, that, I would like to know who God is and I talked to one of the youth ministers about wanting to God and this man named Jesus, and he shared John 3:16 with me, and at the time, I didn't understand it, but I accepted what he was saying, but I never believed it in my heart....yet I thought I was saved at that point. Then in 2003, we switched churches and I found myself just getting out of middle school and going toward high school, and I was in a state of depression and loneliness, finding myself being off to myself, even at the church we were attending, I found myself separating myself from the youth groups and adults. Even had this nice beautiful young girl named Kassandra, who was as nice as you could ever want in a woman, try and ask ME out on dates and to hang out and stuff, yet I still stayed off to myself. Went to a Christian conference in Nashville, TN and again, I thought I was saved, but I was only caught up in the emotion of the event. And then I entered high school.

Even in high school, I was a huge introvert, staying to myself as always, but I also found myself entering into the JROTC program and remained in the program til I graduated in 2007. It was also in 2007 that I met a young lady, Leanna. She was the first person I really developed feelings for, and she was (unfortunately) the first person I made the mistake of being with out of marriage, and sadly, she wouldn't be the last, and that just led me down an extreme spiral. I started focusing on the wrong things (women, popularity, etc.), I didn't have my mind or heart where it should have been. And this WHOLE time, there I am thinking I was a saved man of God....how foolish of me. And I'm still going to the same church with my parents and family and fellow church members.

I got into college and only got one year under my belt, and the biggest reason I didn't finish was because of my own selfish reasons, focusing still on the wrong things. I wasn't doing drugs or drinking or anything like that, but chasing after women.....yeah, I am as guilty as ever on that. And it wasn't beyond me to make up a little fib about myself or something to try and impress someone either. And all of that did me absolutely no good, whatsoever. Still spiraling. Trying to fill things in my life that are completely temporary and trying to please myself only.

I found myself having to work, bouncing from job to job, and then I got a driving job for a government subcontractor called SES (Science and Engineering Services.) I did my best while I was there, I tried my darndest to be one of the best employees they had, but again, at the time, I found myself in the whole online dating scene (which is a big mistake by the way.) I had been on so many dates with so many different woman, and none of them panned out. Whether it was by me, or by they just losing interest, I was going nowhere, until I met a woman named Nichole, from Chattanooga, Tennessee. We started talking, and things just really took off from there. I wasn't really looking for a relationship, I for my selfish reasons was looking for someone just fool around with, just to keep on the side and do my own thing. But, we developed a relationship, and after only knowing her for no more than three months, we had a child coming our way.

My first mistake, panicking hearing about it, and not putting my best foot forward. I regret not doing that, because I keep thinking to myself if I had, I would have saved myself a ton of heartache down the road, but I believe it was meant to be, to happen that way for a reason. I kept trying to justify the thought of, Well, since she lives in another state and I really have no bound on me, I can still do what I want to......and I found myself doing just that. Hanging out with friends I had known for the longest time, ( and yes some women), and even going to the extreme of taking out a loan for one of my friends to pay a lawyer so she could keep her house and her children...(if I could only reach back and stop myself). So many weekends I could have and should have went there to be with her and care for her and get ready for this child....and I didn't do it....because of my selfish stupid ways, I didn't do it. I helped with a few things, but I should have done more, and I regret not doing more. My daughter Lorelai was born October 21st, 2015 at 11:55 in the morning. And my heart glowed with the very first look upon my beautiful baby girl, and in my heart, I knew something had to change, something was not right at all. I knew this was all coming to a head. And when she found out I had been talking and chatting to other women, even though most of them were friends, she lost it, and for that, I don't blame her. I was selfish, prideful and exceedingly stupid. And our relationship went on the fritz from that point on.

It was the next year, and I was troubled the whole winter, battling with the loneliness and depression my heart was feeling, while at the same time knowing I had a baby girl in Tennessee and a relationship with the mother on the fritz. I knew something needed to change. On March 21st, 2016, my heart was troubled to the point that I knelt down by my bed and I prayed for Jesus to forgive me and to truly save my soul, that I believed in my heart He was the only person who could truly save me from myself and keep me safe. And during that prayer....I felt the weight of the world get lifted off of my shoulders...the most amazing feeling I have ever felt in my entire life, and I felt that right then and there, and knew, Jesus saved my soul. But I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I wanted to show EVERYONE that I was a changed man, that Christ had saved me, and I followed Him in baptism at my church.

It wasn't long after this that things took a turn for the worse. Nichole was threatening to end the relationship and cease talking to me, SES let me go because of a small mistake I had made months prior, and all the friends I had suddenly were turning their backs on me and walking away. I was told that, when we come to truly know Jesus as our savior and profess Him in front of others, that's when Satan comes at you with everything he has got. And he did just that. I was sad, and confused and lost, but I prayed in my heart that the Lord would show me the way to go in my heart, and I believe he did just that. I had told Nichole that since her dad's cancer had come back and her mom's health was in question, that I would not ask her to move here, where I am. Instead, I assured her that we could work through things, and I that I would move there and pick up work and a place to live and turn the next page. And I did that. But what I didn't know was that by this time, Nichole's heart was so seared by everything, nothing really phased her.

But I made the move and found myself in Spring City, Tennessee, and I found work in Dayton, Tennessee, working for La-Z-Boy Manufacturing as a final assembler. I moved there in April of 2016, and me and Nichole's relationship I thought was starting to get back on the right track, I was even getting to see my daughter every other day it seemed like and she and my daughter would even come and stay a week or so with me at the apartment. I was so thankful for that. I just felt things were truly turning around. Then, one day, me and her got into a little quarrel about me spending a day with my parents, and she lost it again, and went right back to talking about how she was starting not to feel the same towards me. But I assured her I was a changed man, that I was not the same, but I still don't think she really noticed. And one day in August, she took my daughter and her things from the apartment and went back to live with her parents. And from that point on, it was nothing but hostility towards me.

I felt nothing but loneliness and depression and just despair from that point on. It was hard to eat, in fact, in one weeks time, I had lost 15 pounds of weight, crying myself to sleep at night, late nights on the phone with my mother because I had literally no support system there, and the heartache I was feeling was unreal. I truly felt that everything I was working toward was unfairly ripped away from me. But I started to pray and eventually found myself feeling better. Then one night, I went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and I needed to return to Alabama to pick up an insurance card for my pick up from my parents, and while on the way home, I lost control on the interest and rolled 7+ times, and I remember the driver door opening and my legs flailing out of the truck, and I was waiting for what should have been the last breath I was going to take. But the Lord kept me safe through it, and I ended up only suffering a mild concussion, a shifted clavicle and burn marks from the seatbelt, and that was it. I was truly blessed.....and this set things in motion for me to come back to Alabama, because with the medical bills, there was no way I could hold it up where I was it. And when my told my ex about it, she just didn't care at all. Her and her family would not let me see my daughter, and if I was granted a chance, it was always on their terms, their convenience, and if my schedule didn't meet theirs, there was no way I was seeing her. I got to see my little girl one last time before I returned to Alabama, and even then it was brief and Nichole wouldn't even look at me, I could just feel the anger and bitterness she had towards me. But, I moved back to Alabama.

I found a job in a warehouse at a car dealership really quickly, and I found myself back in church and reconnecting with my family and the church family I had missed and slowly everything I sacrificed to move up there, started to come back into the picture. I was focusing more on what the Lord had planned for my life, and striving to do things more His way than mine. Wasn't long, I got the opportunity to work for Boeing Aerospace, and I quickly jumped on that, and they hired me. I still feel so blessed to be a part of this company, and to be in a field I love, which is aviation. I have tried to talk to my ex about trying to be co-parents to our daughter, but she refuses to talk in any way, and I have finally let it go and given it completely over to the Lord. It hurts not getting to be a part of my daughters life right now, but I hope and pray the Lord will turn that around one day and I pray for Nichole's heart every day I can.

I can sleep at night knowing that when it got really gritty, the Lord gave me the strength and, carried me at times, to move forward and put my best foot forward and do what a Godly Christian man should do, and I didn't throw it away, I embraced it, and it was thrown back into my face. I'm not bitter about it, I've learned so much on this journey through my walk of life, and I know there is still so much more for me to learn. I know I'm not done yet, and the Lord has a plan for me. I'm not a perfect person, and I know I never will be, and I know I still have to fight my fleshly body and desires, and I know I'm gonna make mistakes. But I know Jesus truly saved my soul, and I am truly blessed and thankful forevermore for that. I truly don't deserve, not after everything I have put my family and friends through, I truly do not deserve anything.....but I'm extremely thankful.


To anyone who has not walked this road and those younger than me.....don't do it.....keep your eyes and your heart guarded, and keep your focus on Jesus Christ, and let Him direct you in the path He has laid out for you. Seek Him with your whole heart, it's so true when you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you. And He truly loves and cares for you....no matter what you have done. And please know that I love each and every one of you, no matter where you are in the world, and I am always here for you.

May the Lord keep and bless all of you.


 

NoNameMcgee

Senior Member
May 6, 2017
4,648
692
113
#2
A very touching testimony Michael....
thank you very much for this

and for as much as it's worth
i believe i've seen Him working in you even on CC

i have no doubt in my mind He has protected you and had His hands working in your life to guide you where you are today

we all have made some serious mistakes...

but God loves you brother
like a Father loves his child


may He bless you greatly and in His perfect timing allow you to be a light to your daughter
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
22,518
1,148
113
63
#3
I read your entire amazing testimony and was really quite impressed. Things aren't too bad as you have an excellent job and seemed to have learned from your mistakes. Really, you haven't done anything that is terribly bad such as out of wedlock sexual encounters. Many have done the same thing and have traveled down the same rough road, myself included. It won't be easy but do your best to be a part of your daughter's life and be faithful in financial support for her as that is now your obligation and responsibility.

Seems to me that you are absolutely on the right spiritual track as a result of your many years of reflection, contemplation and action on what God has impressed on your heart.

I understand about how you feel about online dating but also know that I met my wife on this site and we have been happily married for over 3 years now. You seem like a lonely guy to me but if it is your desire to one day settle down with your heart's desire God may help you on this as He has helped me.

I have had some adventure on my spiritual journey as well, some good, some bad but the experience, with God by my side has proved invaluable. Right now I'm in the adventure of being married to a wonderful woman brought to me by God. Many such journeys are possible. May yours be likewise if this is what is in your heart.
 

Sherril

Senior Member
Jan 28, 2017
184
181
43
#4
The beauty of our God as He is able to change us, even knowing the amazing power of the salvation of Jesus for our souls, freedom comes through Jesus our Lord, He is our strength, He is our hope, Jesus is our rest...powerful testimony of the power of God and of a surrendered life...God wants 1st place in our hearts over any other...surrendered, submitted, letting go and letting God do His will in our lives...We adore you Abba all that you are, Father all we need is in you...Jesus thank you for your love as you have laid your life down to redeem us from sin. Father God what Joy you bring, Papa..Abba..God. Keep looking to Jesus stay focused on Gods will knowing His heart and His plan that He has for you....Love in Christ Sherril[HR][/HR]Jeremiah 29:11-13[HR][/HR] (KJV)[SUP]11 [/SUP]For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
[SUP]12 [/SUP]Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.
[SUP]13 [/SUP]And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.
 
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HannahA

Senior Member
Sep 16, 2017
132
12
18
#5
That's a great testimony brother
seek Him trust Him wholeheartedly and God will certainly restore every aspects of your life
God bless you
 

1simus

Junior Member
Feb 13, 2018
6
0
0
#6
Hi Michael Owen,
Thank you so much for this testimony. It is very uplifting. Even though there’s a lot of tragedies in your life, the one thing that stands out is that you are faithful to the Lord. And that is everything! I don’t have any human advice that can be better than what Jesus has for you. Nurture your love for the Lord and you’ll be okay. I encourage you to read Hebrews 11, the Hall of Faith, where they didn’t get what they were promised but they were nevertheless faithful. Your story is a story of redemption. And if you keep asking Him, He might give you what you want if it is in accordance with His plans for you.
 

joefizz

Senior Member
Apr 23, 2017
13,460
359
83
25
#7
I was really nervous about writing this, but I know the Lord is giving me the strength and the courage to type it. For the longest time, I have struggled with pride, and I still fight it from time to time, and I feel the best way to get rid of pride is to spit it out, because if you swallow, you still have it.....and this may be lengthy, but please bear with me on it.

Firstly, I want to apologize to anyone I may have offended on here with any posts I have made, and I ask for your forgiveness, and if I have been mean or have been out of character with anyone, I truly apologize.

My name is Michael Owen White, I was born in the city of Huntsville, Alabama, and I was raised in the southern tips of the Appalachian mountains in a small rural town named New Market. I grew up fast, as so many of us did, and I was raised with true southern boy roots (southern accent to boot), lived on a small farm tucked in between the valley of two mountains. My parents, God bless them, were, and still are, very traditional Christians, and have been since the late 70's and early 80's, as their parents were very traditional southern Christian folk, the likes of which are a dying breed in today's generations. They brought me up to say yes ma'am, and no ma'am, and yes sir and no sir, and if I was rude and didn't reiterate those words, I got a hand to the mouth or a slap on the rear to straighten me out.

When I was younger, I wasn't necessarily a hellion so to speak, but I wasn't necessarily the nicest kid you could want to associate with. If someone picked on me or made me mad, I spat in their face, or bit their hand, or kicked them, just being a kid acting out, not knowing any better. If my mother or father got word of me doing something and getting in trouble at school......at home, it was punishment times 2. I would be quiet a lot of times, but then get carried away with things, and sometimes I would be a loud mouth kid asking WAY too many questions about things. But the whole time, my parents made it a point to keep me and my older brother in church and raise us up the way the felt the Lord was leading them in their heart. I wasn't always so kind to them either, I talked back so much, and I always pitched a fit when things didn't go my way or I didn't get what I wanted. But looking back, I realize how truly blessed I was with parents like them, they stood on the Word and the showed so much love to me and my brother and I was truly blessed.

When I was 10 years old, I remember I was outside the church we were members at, at that time, and I was playing on a playground, and I slipped and hit my head, but I remember thinking, that, I would like to know who God is and I talked to one of the youth ministers about wanting to God and this man named Jesus, and he shared John 3:16 with me, and at the time, I didn't understand it, but I accepted what he was saying, but I never believed it in my heart....yet I thought I was saved at that point. Then in 2003, we switched churches and I found myself just getting out of middle school and going toward high school, and I was in a state of depression and loneliness, finding myself being off to myself, even at the church we were attending, I found myself separating myself from the youth groups and adults. Even had this nice beautiful young girl named Kassandra, who was as nice as you could ever want in a woman, try and ask ME out on dates and to hang out and stuff, yet I still stayed off to myself. Went to a Christian conference in Nashville, TN and again, I thought I was saved, but I was only caught up in the emotion of the event. And then I entered high school.

Even in high school, I was a huge introvert, staying to myself as always, but I also found myself entering into the JROTC program and remained in the program til I graduated in 2007. It was also in 2007 that I met a young lady, Leanna. She was the first person I really developed feelings for, and she was (unfortunately) the first person I made the mistake of being with out of marriage, and sadly, she wouldn't be the last, and that just led me down an extreme spiral. I started focusing on the wrong things (women, popularity, etc.), I didn't have my mind or heart where it should have been. And this WHOLE time, there I am thinking I was a saved man of God....how foolish of me. And I'm still going to the same church with my parents and family and fellow church members.

I got into college and only got one year under my belt, and the biggest reason I didn't finish was because of my own selfish reasons, focusing still on the wrong things. I wasn't doing drugs or drinking or anything like that, but chasing after women.....yeah, I am as guilty as ever on that. And it wasn't beyond me to make up a little fib about myself or something to try and impress someone either. And all of that did me absolutely no good, whatsoever. Still spiraling. Trying to fill things in my life that are completely temporary and trying to please myself only.

I found myself having to work, bouncing from job to job, and then I got a driving job for a government subcontractor called SES (Science and Engineering Services.) I did my best while I was there, I tried my darndest to be one of the best employees they had, but again, at the time, I found myself in the whole online dating scene (which is a big mistake by the way.) I had been on so many dates with so many different woman, and none of them panned out. Whether it was by me, or by they just losing interest, I was going nowhere, until I met a woman named Nichole, from Chattanooga, Tennessee. We started talking, and things just really took off from there. I wasn't really looking for a relationship, I for my selfish reasons was looking for someone just fool around with, just to keep on the side and do my own thing. But, we developed a relationship, and after only knowing her for no more than three months, we had a child coming our way.

My first mistake, panicking hearing about it, and not putting my best foot forward. I regret not doing that, because I keep thinking to myself if I had, I would have saved myself a ton of heartache down the road, but I believe it was meant to be, to happen that way for a reason. I kept trying to justify the thought of, Well, since she lives in another state and I really have no bound on me, I can still do what I want to......and I found myself doing just that. Hanging out with friends I had known for the longest time, ( and yes some women), and even going to the extreme of taking out a loan for one of my friends to pay a lawyer so she could keep her house and her children...(if I could only reach back and stop myself). So many weekends I could have and should have went there to be with her and care for her and get ready for this child....and I didn't do it....because of my selfish stupid ways, I didn't do it. I helped with a few things, but I should have done more, and I regret not doing more. My daughter Lorelai was born October 21st, 2015 at 11:55 in the morning. And my heart glowed with the very first look upon my beautiful baby girl, and in my heart, I knew something had to change, something was not right at all. I knew this was all coming to a head. And when she found out I had been talking and chatting to other women, even though most of them were friends, she lost it, and for that, I don't blame her. I was selfish, prideful and exceedingly stupid. And our relationship went on the fritz from that point on.

It was the next year, and I was troubled the whole winter, battling with the loneliness and depression my heart was feeling, while at the same time knowing I had a baby girl in Tennessee and a relationship with the mother on the fritz. I knew something needed to change. On March 21st, 2016, my heart was troubled to the point that I knelt down by my bed and I prayed for Jesus to forgive me and to truly save my soul, that I believed in my heart He was the only person who could truly save me from myself and keep me safe. And during that prayer....I felt the weight of the world get lifted off of my shoulders...the most amazing feeling I have ever felt in my entire life, and I felt that right then and there, and knew, Jesus saved my soul. But I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I wanted to show EVERYONE that I was a changed man, that Christ had saved me, and I followed Him in baptism at my church.

It wasn't long after this that things took a turn for the worse. Nichole was threatening to end the relationship and cease talking to me, SES let me go because of a small mistake I had made months prior, and all the friends I had suddenly were turning their backs on me and walking away. I was told that, when we come to truly know Jesus as our savior and profess Him in front of others, that's when Satan comes at you with everything he has got. And he did just that. I was sad, and confused and lost, but I prayed in my heart that the Lord would show me the way to go in my heart, and I believe he did just that. I had told Nichole that since her dad's cancer had come back and her mom's health was in question, that I would not ask her to move here, where I am. Instead, I assured her that we could work through things, and I that I would move there and pick up work and a place to live and turn the next page. And I did that. But what I didn't know was that by this time, Nichole's heart was so seared by everything, nothing really phased her.

But I made the move and found myself in Spring City, Tennessee, and I found work in Dayton, Tennessee, working for La-Z-Boy Manufacturing as a final assembler. I moved there in April of 2016, and me and Nichole's relationship I thought was starting to get back on the right track, I was even getting to see my daughter every other day it seemed like and she and my daughter would even come and stay a week or so with me at the apartment. I was so thankful for that. I just felt things were truly turning around. Then, one day, me and her got into a little quarrel about me spending a day with my parents, and she lost it again, and went right back to talking about how she was starting not to feel the same towards me. But I assured her I was a changed man, that I was not the same, but I still don't think she really noticed. And one day in August, she took my daughter and her things from the apartment and went back to live with her parents. And from that point on, it was nothing but hostility towards me.

I felt nothing but loneliness and depression and just despair from that point on. It was hard to eat, in fact, in one weeks time, I had lost 15 pounds of weight, crying myself to sleep at night, late nights on the phone with my mother because I had literally no support system there, and the heartache I was feeling was unreal. I truly felt that everything I was working toward was unfairly ripped away from me. But I started to pray and eventually found myself feeling better. Then one night, I went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, and I needed to return to Alabama to pick up an insurance card for my pick up from my parents, and while on the way home, I lost control on the interest and rolled 7+ times, and I remember the driver door opening and my legs flailing out of the truck, and I was waiting for what should have been the last breath I was going to take. But the Lord kept me safe through it, and I ended up only suffering a mild concussion, a shifted clavicle and burn marks from the seatbelt, and that was it. I was truly blessed.....and this set things in motion for me to come back to Alabama, because with the medical bills, there was no way I could hold it up where I was it. And when my told my ex about it, she just didn't care at all. Her and her family would not let me see my daughter, and if I was granted a chance, it was always on their terms, their convenience, and if my schedule didn't meet theirs, there was no way I was seeing her. I got to see my little girl one last time before I returned to Alabama, and even then it was brief and Nichole wouldn't even look at me, I could just feel the anger and bitterness she had towards me. But, I moved back to Alabama.

I found a job in a warehouse at a car dealership really quickly, and I found myself back in church and reconnecting with my family and the church family I had missed and slowly everything I sacrificed to move up there, started to come back into the picture. I was focusing more on what the Lord had planned for my life, and striving to do things more His way than mine. Wasn't long, I got the opportunity to work for Boeing Aerospace, and I quickly jumped on that, and they hired me. I still feel so blessed to be a part of this company, and to be in a field I love, which is aviation. I have tried to talk to my ex about trying to be co-parents to our daughter, but she refuses to talk in any way, and I have finally let it go and given it completely over to the Lord. It hurts not getting to be a part of my daughters life right now, but I hope and pray the Lord will turn that around one day and I pray for Nichole's heart every day I can.

I can sleep at night knowing that when it got really gritty, the Lord gave me the strength and, carried me at times, to move forward and put my best foot forward and do what a Godly Christian man should do, and I didn't throw it away, I embraced it, and it was thrown back into my face. I'm not bitter about it, I've learned so much on this journey through my walk of life, and I know there is still so much more for me to learn. I know I'm not done yet, and the Lord has a plan for me. I'm not a perfect person, and I know I never will be, and I know I still have to fight my fleshly body and desires, and I know I'm gonna make mistakes. But I know Jesus truly saved my soul, and I am truly blessed and thankful forevermore for that. I truly don't deserve, not after everything I have put my family and friends through, I truly do not deserve anything.....but I'm extremely thankful.


To anyone who has not walked this road and those younger than me.....don't do it.....keep your eyes and your heart guarded, and keep your focus on Jesus Christ, and let Him direct you in the path He has laid out for you. Seek Him with your whole heart, it's so true when you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you. And He truly loves and cares for you....no matter what you have done. And please know that I love each and every one of you, no matter where you are in the world, and I am always here for you.

May the Lord keep and bless all of you.


Your testimony is similar to my start with Jesus and it's steadily getting worse for me,reminding me to not put so much trust in "people".
That's crummy how you can't see your daughter but, "you never know" God may "surprise" you by leading your daughter to "seek you out" I didn't know if I would find my mother again but by way of Facebook ironically I first found one of my brothers and lived with my mother afterward,the past is "bothersome" but your future is still filled with blessings!
 

Chester

Senior Member
May 23, 2016
2,056
84
48
#8
Thanks for sharing, Michael.
 

BillG

Senior Member
Feb 15, 2017
5,091
572
113
#9
Michael Owen,

My precious brother in Jesus.
I resonate with a lot of your post.
Particularly with regards to "seeking out the ladies"
I did that as a Christian. It was my way of seeking love, albeit false love.
I didn't know right from wrong.
But also it was the world I was bought up in. I won't go into that part of my life.

But I carried so much guilt as a believer.
What set me free?

Healing.
I needed healing from my past and hurts but also healing from the guilt of the ladies I messed about with.

I'm not trying to usurp your testimony. Just letting you know to an extent I resonate with you.
If I'm honest I'm still waiting for a knock on the door, well not waiting but it wouldn't surprise me.

When I open it I'm asked "Are you Bill Gillan?
"Yes I am, and you are?
"Oh I'm your kid"

I did say to my wife that one day this may happen, before we got married. That means I told her of my past.

A worship song I like.

Forgetting my sorrow, forgetting my shame
'Cause You took it form me, I'm not the same

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I know You saved my soul
I know You made me whole

[Chorus 1]
You make me happy, You make me free
You heal my sickness and give life to me
I know You saved my soul
I know You made me whole

[Verse 2]
You gave me power, You gave me the keys
You shared Your spoil from Your victory

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I'm free now to save my soul
And I'm here now, You made me whole

[Chorus 2]
I'm free now 'cause You saved my soul
I'm here now 'cause You made me whole

Having read your testimony and having come to know your heart I know God is going to use you.
He will use you to help others who are going through what you have been through what you have.
The good works predestined you to do from the beginning of time.

Don't let it daunt you but embrace it and seek after it. That's your calling.

Thank you for your testimony.

As I said to you before and it's still stands.
I do not think less of you.

Love you bro.

Your brother in Jesus.

Bill.

I love the following worship song

[video]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cXKvdgGFfAc[/video]
 

oldethennew

Senior Member
Feb 28, 2016
7,474
317
83
#10
'We will all come-out to meet Him when He comes'...
 

Deade

Senior Member
Dec 17, 2017
2,646
618
113
72
#11
Michael, thank you for sharing. Jesus tells us we will have trouble with the world. John 16:33: "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

 

GOP

Senior Member
Jul 12, 2015
1,657
64
48
#12
Wow! Wow! Wow! Thank you my precious brother for sharing this with us. It's for the Glory of GOD our Lovely FATHER, and again I say thank you for taking your precious time to write all this and to share it with us.
I really love what you said, "I have tried to talk to my ex about trying to be co-parents to our daughter, but she refuses to talk in any way, and I have finally let it go and given it completely over to the Lord. It hurts not getting to be a part of my daughters life right now, but I hope and pray the Lord will turn that around one day and I pray for Nichole's heart every day I can." Bro, Keep on praying for her and keep on trusting the LORD. For the LORD is Faithful"To anyone who has not walked this road and those younger than me.....don't do it.....keep your eyes and your heart guarded, and keep your focus on Jesus Christ, and let Him direct you in the path He has laid out for you. Seek Him with your whole heart, it's so true when you draw near to Him, He will draw near to you. And He truly loves and cares for you....no matter what you have done. And please know that I love each and every one of you, no matter where you are in the world, and I am always here for you."

Bro, thanks for advising your beloved brethren. Glory to GOD our HOLY FATHER. For it is written, "
Declare the Glory of the LORD among the nations, His marvelous works among the peoples! "
Blessed be our PRECIOUS LORD JESUS forever and ever. Amen!
 

Mel85

Senior Member
Mar 28, 2018
3,398
995
113
#13
Powerful testimony. Thank you for sharing.

Blessings.
 

wade1989

Junior Member
Nov 4, 2016
17
1
0
#14
Awesome testimony man. We have a lot in common. Except I was drunk behind the wheel and god spared my life. I’m also from Alabama. Keep your faith, God’s timing is perfect. Strive to be more and more like him each and every day, I still fall in the same traps and temptations of this world. It makes me question my salvation . I pray for you and your daughters relationship.

God Bless