C
From the time I was an infant, I have always lived with my grandma and grandpa. My mom was 17 when she had me, and decided a life of drugs and crime was way more important than raising my older sister and me. My grandpa told my dad if he ever came around me again that he would shoot him. My dad took him serious and stayed away. So, my sister and I along with an older cousin were raised by my grandparents. My grandpa has been disabled from as far back as I can remember which causes him a lot of pain, making him grumpy and mean a lot. My grandma and grandpa took us too church every Sunday and Wednesday for years. I was 7 when I gave my heart to God. Shortly after, my grandpa's mom passed away.
My grandpa went into a depression and he quit taking us to church. He was always angry and bitter. He would scream at us and tell us how stupid, fat, and ugly we were. We were rarely spanked, but when we were it was out of anger and sometimes went way too far. I hated living in that house after that. My grandpa never hugged us and told us that he loved us; it was always how worthless we were. He would tell us they he should have made our mom take us with her, or that he should have given us away when we were babies. My grandma however would tell us she loved us and give us hugs, but she would get angry from my grandpa's fits too. My sister and I never got along. I always longed for a 'sisterly' relationship, but I hated her. She was extremely manipulative and deceitful. Let's just say that she made some bad choices as a teen. I was the last one to stop going to church, I finally quit going at 14. I loved God, but felt like such a liar and hypocrite because of my home life. I used to lie in bed at night and pray that God take me away from my family and place me in a Christian home, and that God would show me what being a true Christian meant. The past churches I had attended had a lot of fakes.
My sister got pregnant when she was 15, and I hated her for that. I hated her for bringing an innocent child into our 'hell hole' I hated my grandpa for being such a jerk, and I hated my mom and dad for leaving me with him. However, I loved my grandma. She was very special to me and despite it all tried to teach me right. After my sister had her baby, my nephew, it changed me inside. I never knew the love that I could feel for a child, even at the young age of 14. I loved that baby, and cared for him like he was my own. My nephew passed away at 2 months and 13 days. I woke up to my sister screaming "my baby, my baby"; I knew in my heart he was gone. I pleaded with God not to take him away. My nephew passed away of SIDS, and I had to learn to adjust to life without him...the one person that I loved more than anything the world. Losing Brendon put a fear in me like I had never known. Before my nephew was born I absolutely loved children. I was always playing with them and babysitting. After Brendon's death, I wouldn't have anything to do with them. The few times I was talked into babysitting, I constantly had my hand on their back to make sure they were still breathing.
By my senior year in High School all I could talk about was moving out of my house. My grandpa said I would never leave, but I was certainly determined to prove him wrong. Before I left my grandma asked me if I would take her to church, they were having a revival and she wanted to go. I knew if I didn't take her, then she wouldn't get to go. Church was the last place I wanted to go. I was a good kid; I made good grades and never got into the party scene...however I wanted nothing to do with church. But, because I loved my grandma I went.
That night completely changed my life. The preacher called me out and told me to come up front. I went and that night God delivered me from all the hate and pain I had been going thru. I physically felt the hate leave my body. I was no longer angry, I no longer hated my family, and for once in my life I felt loved. The pastor later told my grandma that he had never seen anyone’s physical appearance change so much after God delivering them from their sins. I rededicated my life back to Christi that night, and I have never been the same since. That pastor, to this day (eight years later), still asks my grandma if I am still serving God.
Shortly after that night I moved out of my house to start college. God immediately sent me a Christian friend who invited me to the church. I instantly fell in love with the people, and the church was full of people who were truly serving God! They were not just pretending to love God on the weekends; they live their daily lives to be holy to God. I still attend to this day...8 years later!
God had answered my prayers on showing me what being a true Christian meant. I also had the opportunity to live with my pastors for over a year, God had answered my prayers of living with a true Christian family. I had finally truly experienced 'Love'. God also took away the fear that losing Brendon had put in my heart. A couple years ago, my grandpa was saved! He is no longer that bitter hateful man that I grew up with. He and my grandma are serving faithfully in a local church. My sister, however, is not serving God. We do not have that 'sisterly bond' yet but I KNOW that it is coming! It is only a matter of time before God wins in her life.
My grandpa went into a depression and he quit taking us to church. He was always angry and bitter. He would scream at us and tell us how stupid, fat, and ugly we were. We were rarely spanked, but when we were it was out of anger and sometimes went way too far. I hated living in that house after that. My grandpa never hugged us and told us that he loved us; it was always how worthless we were. He would tell us they he should have made our mom take us with her, or that he should have given us away when we were babies. My grandma however would tell us she loved us and give us hugs, but she would get angry from my grandpa's fits too. My sister and I never got along. I always longed for a 'sisterly' relationship, but I hated her. She was extremely manipulative and deceitful. Let's just say that she made some bad choices as a teen. I was the last one to stop going to church, I finally quit going at 14. I loved God, but felt like such a liar and hypocrite because of my home life. I used to lie in bed at night and pray that God take me away from my family and place me in a Christian home, and that God would show me what being a true Christian meant. The past churches I had attended had a lot of fakes.
My sister got pregnant when she was 15, and I hated her for that. I hated her for bringing an innocent child into our 'hell hole' I hated my grandpa for being such a jerk, and I hated my mom and dad for leaving me with him. However, I loved my grandma. She was very special to me and despite it all tried to teach me right. After my sister had her baby, my nephew, it changed me inside. I never knew the love that I could feel for a child, even at the young age of 14. I loved that baby, and cared for him like he was my own. My nephew passed away at 2 months and 13 days. I woke up to my sister screaming "my baby, my baby"; I knew in my heart he was gone. I pleaded with God not to take him away. My nephew passed away of SIDS, and I had to learn to adjust to life without him...the one person that I loved more than anything the world. Losing Brendon put a fear in me like I had never known. Before my nephew was born I absolutely loved children. I was always playing with them and babysitting. After Brendon's death, I wouldn't have anything to do with them. The few times I was talked into babysitting, I constantly had my hand on their back to make sure they were still breathing.
By my senior year in High School all I could talk about was moving out of my house. My grandpa said I would never leave, but I was certainly determined to prove him wrong. Before I left my grandma asked me if I would take her to church, they were having a revival and she wanted to go. I knew if I didn't take her, then she wouldn't get to go. Church was the last place I wanted to go. I was a good kid; I made good grades and never got into the party scene...however I wanted nothing to do with church. But, because I loved my grandma I went.
That night completely changed my life. The preacher called me out and told me to come up front. I went and that night God delivered me from all the hate and pain I had been going thru. I physically felt the hate leave my body. I was no longer angry, I no longer hated my family, and for once in my life I felt loved. The pastor later told my grandma that he had never seen anyone’s physical appearance change so much after God delivering them from their sins. I rededicated my life back to Christi that night, and I have never been the same since. That pastor, to this day (eight years later), still asks my grandma if I am still serving God.
Shortly after that night I moved out of my house to start college. God immediately sent me a Christian friend who invited me to the church. I instantly fell in love with the people, and the church was full of people who were truly serving God! They were not just pretending to love God on the weekends; they live their daily lives to be holy to God. I still attend to this day...8 years later!
God had answered my prayers on showing me what being a true Christian meant. I also had the opportunity to live with my pastors for over a year, God had answered my prayers of living with a true Christian family. I had finally truly experienced 'Love'. God also took away the fear that losing Brendon had put in my heart. A couple years ago, my grandpa was saved! He is no longer that bitter hateful man that I grew up with. He and my grandma are serving faithfully in a local church. My sister, however, is not serving God. We do not have that 'sisterly bond' yet but I KNOW that it is coming! It is only a matter of time before God wins in her life.
