The Suicidal Christian

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Jul 8, 2017
75
114
33
#1
Someone needs to hear this tonight. ❤️

I am going to bare my heart and hold nothing back because God has used my life stories to help others time and time again.

As with everyone else who had to endure this, the four months of isolation were hard for me. I am an extreme extrovert to a fault. I need to be close to people. I also rely heavily on a lot of people for support because of the overwhelming trials (blessings) that God has given my family.

Then suddenly, it was a crime to be with people. School was canceled without warning. Church stopped meeting. Friends stopped visiting. Even most of my children’s critical support services stopped providing services.

In a nut shell, four months of isolation from family and friends drove me to the point that thoughts of suicide to escape the overwhelming responsibilities and loneliness crept into my mind every. Single. Night. It became an unhealthy coping mechanism for me; a horrible “back up plan” that gave me a false sense of relief when I was at the end of my human strength to go on.

Suicide, you say? *gasp!* I thought you were a Christian?!?

Yes, even Christians face this very strong temptation. Biblical heroes faced this very strong temptation. And you know what? God NEVER condemned them for it. He reminded them that he is God and that he was there in their darkest moment. God understands when we are at our limits and gently brings us back with his promises.

So what helped me fight this thorn in the flesh that relentlessly tormented me every night? First, I reached out to other believers I could trust and asked them to pray for me. Somehow opening up about the struggle gave it far less power. I knew that other believers were interceding on my behalf while my prayers came out too jumbled and broken for me to comprehend (but God knows my heart, and knew what I needed). Second, I found an unruly bunch of outlaws who ignored social distancing and included me on a very large painting project (you know who you are 😉 ). The face to face fellowship was PARAMOUNT to my mental well-being.

*gasp!* But THE ‘RONA!!!

Look, I had more chance of dying alone by my own hand than I did from contracting a virus, so I took my chances.

Third, and probably THE MOST IMPORTANT I started writing down verses that reminded me of the promises of God and placed them on the table by my bed. That way, when Satan tried to take me out of the ranks of God’s earthly army I could remind myself that SATAN IS A FLIPPIN’ LIAR and no matter how hard life gets, God is strong enough to be my rescue and my place of peace.

Fourth, I started excepting that being tempted was not a sin in itself (even Jesus, who was sinless, was tempted). It’s what we DO with that temptation that matters. If I were to give in to that temptation, I would be sending a message to my children, my family, my friends, my community and the WORLD that my faith in God had limits. That maybe it was all hype, and when reality hit hard God didn’t show up for me. Is that the legacy I wanted to leave in my passing; that God was not enough for me in heavy trials? Heck no.

Christian, Satan KNOWS your weaknesses in your flesh. He wants you OUT of the battle. You are God’s warrior, and you are a threat to the enemy. If he can convince you that God has left you in your darkest hour, and he can convince you to end your life, he will. He knows his fate is sealed, so he’s mad as a hornet and wants to drag down as many people as he can take with him. If you go through heavy trials and cling to God instead of running away, you ruin Satan’s plans. Others might see your perseverance and faith and accept Christ because of your testimony. That makes Satan VERY angry. That’s why even Christians are tempted with suicide. Satan wants us and our testimony gone.

Remember, just because you may not FEEL God’s presence during a trial doesn’t mean he has abandon you! He gives us heavy trials so we can learn to put our trust wholly in him. Trust me, I know it’s near impossible to force yourself to remember this when your heart is shattered in a million pieces, your stomach is full of bricks, and your eyes run out of tears. But he will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. And that is a promise he will always keep.
 

Attachments

Redt

New member
Dec 9, 2018
1
1
1
#2
Hi, peace be upon you, Hippie( I hope it's your name)

I really would love to bless you for you shared us this testimony...I really felt good after reading it fully.
 

Encouragement

Well-known member
Aug 25, 2020
1,215
1,110
113
#5
Someone needs to hear this tonight. ❤️

I am going to bare my heart and hold nothing back because God has used my life stories to help others time and time again.

As with everyone else who had to endure this, the four months of isolation were hard for me. I am an extreme extrovert to a fault. I need to be close to people. I also rely heavily on a lot of people for support because of the overwhelming trials (blessings) that God has given my family.

Then suddenly, it was a crime to be with people. School was canceled without warning. Church stopped meeting. Friends stopped visiting. Even most of my children’s critical support services stopped providing services.

In a nut shell, four months of isolation from family and friends drove me to the point that thoughts of suicide to escape the overwhelming responsibilities and loneliness crept into my mind every. Single. Night. It became an unhealthy coping mechanism for me; a horrible “back up plan” that gave me a false sense of relief when I was at the end of my human strength to go on.

Suicide, you say? *gasp!* I thought you were a Christian?!?

Yes, even Christians face this very strong temptation. Biblical heroes faced this very strong temptation. And you know what? God NEVER condemned them for it. He reminded them that he is God and that he was there in their darkest moment. God understands when we are at our limits and gently brings us back with his promises.

So what helped me fight this thorn in the flesh that relentlessly tormented me every night? First, I reached out to other believers I could trust and asked them to pray for me. Somehow opening up about the struggle gave it far less power. I knew that other believers were interceding on my behalf while my prayers came out too jumbled and broken for me to comprehend (but God knows my heart, and knew what I needed). Second, I found an unruly bunch of outlaws who ignored social distancing and included me on a very large painting project (you know who you are 😉 ). The face to face fellowship was PARAMOUNT to my mental well-being.

*gasp!* But THE ‘RONA!!!

Look, I had more chance of dying alone by my own hand than I did from contracting a virus, so I took my chances.

Third, and probably THE MOST IMPORTANT I started writing down verses that reminded me of the promises of God and placed them on the table by my bed. That way, when Satan tried to take me out of the ranks of God’s earthly army I could remind myself that SATAN IS A FLIPPIN’ LIAR and no matter how hard life gets, God is strong enough to be my rescue and my place of peace.

Fourth, I started excepting that being tempted was not a sin in itself (even Jesus, who was sinless, was tempted). It’s what we DO with that temptation that matters. If I were to give in to that temptation, I would be sending a message to my children, my family, my friends, my community and the WORLD that my faith in God had limits. That maybe it was all hype, and when reality hit hard God didn’t show up for me. Is that the legacy I wanted to leave in my passing; that God was not enough for me in heavy trials? Heck no.

Christian, Satan KNOWS your weaknesses in your flesh. He wants you OUT of the battle. You are God’s warrior, and you are a threat to the enemy. If he can convince you that God has left you in your darkest hour, and he can convince you to end your life, he will. He knows his fate is sealed, so he’s mad as a hornet and wants to drag down as many people as he can take with him. If you go through heavy trials and cling to God instead of running away, you ruin Satan’s plans. Others might see your perseverance and faith and accept Christ because of your testimony. That makes Satan VERY angry. That’s why even Christians are tempted with suicide. Satan wants us and our testimony gone.

Remember, just because you may not FEEL God’s presence during a trial doesn’t mean he has abandon you! He gives us heavy trials so we can learn to put our trust wholly in him. Trust me, I know it’s near impossible to force yourself to remember this when your heart is shattered in a million pieces, your stomach is full of bricks, and your eyes run out of tears. But he will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. And that is a promise he will always keep.
Wow such a touching testimony.The devil is such a rotten liar and just imagine the devastating trauma your children would have to go through from flooding their precious mother and the sheer agony your family and friends would have to experience and endure.
Most of all the sheer heartbreak your loving heavenly father would experience of losing his sweet precious child who he sent his son to die for..to then save you,protect you in life,forever by your side in times of trouble,to have plans I his heart for you.....and then to loose you due to the lies of the enemie..😢😢😢..
You would be gone without realising the tremendous pain and suffering left behind..praise God for your most precious life..🙏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
 

Fundamental

Active member
Aug 10, 2020
540
223
43
#6
God bless you Secondhandhippie. The Lord is our strenght and greater then anything we face in life.
 

Runningman

Well-known member
Mar 4, 2020
724
655
93
#7
Someone needs to hear this tonight. ❤️

I am going to bare my heart and hold nothing back because God has used my life stories to help others time and time again.

As with everyone else who had to endure this, the four months of isolation were hard for me. I am an extreme extrovert to a fault. I need to be close to people. I also rely heavily on a lot of people for support because of the overwhelming trials (blessings) that God has given my family.

Then suddenly, it was a crime to be with people. School was canceled without warning. Church stopped meeting. Friends stopped visiting. Even most of my children’s critical support services stopped providing services.

In a nut shell, four months of isolation from family and friends drove me to the point that thoughts of suicide to escape the overwhelming responsibilities and loneliness crept into my mind every. Single. Night. It became an unhealthy coping mechanism for me; a horrible “back up plan” that gave me a false sense of relief when I was at the end of my human strength to go on.

Suicide, you say? *gasp!* I thought you were a Christian?!?

Yes, even Christians face this very strong temptation. Biblical heroes faced this very strong temptation. And you know what? God NEVER condemned them for it. He reminded them that he is God and that he was there in their darkest moment. God understands when we are at our limits and gently brings us back with his promises.

So what helped me fight this thorn in the flesh that relentlessly tormented me every night? First, I reached out to other believers I could trust and asked them to pray for me. Somehow opening up about the struggle gave it far less power. I knew that other believers were interceding on my behalf while my prayers came out too jumbled and broken for me to comprehend (but God knows my heart, and knew what I needed). Second, I found an unruly bunch of outlaws who ignored social distancing and included me on a very large painting project (you know who you are 😉 ). The face to face fellowship was PARAMOUNT to my mental well-being.

*gasp!* But THE ‘RONA!!!

Look, I had more chance of dying alone by my own hand than I did from contracting a virus, so I took my chances.

Third, and probably THE MOST IMPORTANT I started writing down verses that reminded me of the promises of God and placed them on the table by my bed. That way, when Satan tried to take me out of the ranks of God’s earthly army I could remind myself that SATAN IS A FLIPPIN’ LIAR and no matter how hard life gets, God is strong enough to be my rescue and my place of peace.

Fourth, I started excepting that being tempted was not a sin in itself (even Jesus, who was sinless, was tempted). It’s what we DO with that temptation that matters. If I were to give in to that temptation, I would be sending a message to my children, my family, my friends, my community and the WORLD that my faith in God had limits. That maybe it was all hype, and when reality hit hard God didn’t show up for me. Is that the legacy I wanted to leave in my passing; that God was not enough for me in heavy trials? Heck no.

Christian, Satan KNOWS your weaknesses in your flesh. He wants you OUT of the battle. You are God’s warrior, and you are a threat to the enemy. If he can convince you that God has left you in your darkest hour, and he can convince you to end your life, he will. He knows his fate is sealed, so he’s mad as a hornet and wants to drag down as many people as he can take with him. If you go through heavy trials and cling to God instead of running away, you ruin Satan’s plans. Others might see your perseverance and faith and accept Christ because of your testimony. That makes Satan VERY angry. That’s why even Christians are tempted with suicide. Satan wants us and our testimony gone.

Remember, just because you may not FEEL God’s presence during a trial doesn’t mean he has abandon you! He gives us heavy trials so we can learn to put our trust wholly in him. Trust me, I know it’s near impossible to force yourself to remember this when your heart is shattered in a million pieces, your stomach is full of bricks, and your eyes run out of tears. But he will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. And that is a promise he will always keep.
1 Peter 5:8-9 "8Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering."

We are reminded that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the forces of darkness. We are not alone, our brothers and sisters deal with similar struggles and we can draw encouragement from each other.

Jesus is our High Priest who lived the life of a human, experienced temptations and even cried a time or two. He still loved us enough to go all the way. Even though the cup passing from him may have been preferable, it was an easy choice to give God the Father the glory. He died for us, rose again, and ascended to Heaven where he took up post at the right hand of God.
 

Moses_Young

Well-known member
Sep 15, 2019
1,307
761
113
#10
So what helped me fight this thorn in the flesh that relentlessly tormented me every night? First, I reached out to other believers I could trust and asked them to pray for me. Somehow opening up about the struggle gave it far less power. I knew that other believers were interceding on my behalf while my prayers came out too jumbled and broken for me to comprehend (but God knows my heart, and knew what I needed). Second, I found an unruly bunch of outlaws who ignored social distancing and included me on a very large painting project (you know who you are 😉 ). The face to face fellowship was PARAMOUNT to my mental well-being.

*gasp!* But THE ‘RONA!!!

Look, I had more chance of dying alone by my own hand than I did from contracting a virus, so I took my chances.
Well done. The bullies-in-office who advocated for lockdown have a lot to answer for, and I believe there were far more deaths caused by the silly, ineffective precautions than saved from the invisible virus which had such deadly symptoms, you couldn't even tell if you had it without getting a special test.

I look forward to the day when each of these so-called scientists, government bureaucrats, politicians, media presenters etc. is held personally liable for the suffering they have caused with coronahoax, and sued to bankruptcy and beyond, to be paying the massive debt to society back for the rest of their sorry lives.

To God be the glory that he kept you during this difficult period.
 

Papou

Active member
Aug 9, 2018
220
76
28
#11
Great testimony ! Strong Faith ! And outstanding writing skills !
 
Mar 25, 2020
157
91
28
#12
Someone needs to hear this tonight. ❤️

I am going to bare my heart and hold nothing back because God has used my life stories to help others time and time again.

As with everyone else who had to endure this, the four months of isolation were hard for me. I am an extreme extrovert to a fault. I need to be close to people. I also rely heavily on a lot of people for support because of the overwhelming trials (blessings) that God has given my family.

Then suddenly, it was a crime to be with people. School was canceled without warning. Church stopped meeting. Friends stopped visiting. Even most of my children’s critical support services stopped providing services.

In a nut shell, four months of isolation from family and friends drove me to the point that thoughts of suicide to escape the overwhelming responsibilities and loneliness crept into my mind every. Single. Night. It became an unhealthy coping mechanism for me; a horrible “back up plan” that gave me a false sense of relief when I was at the end of my human strength to go on.

Suicide, you say? *gasp!* I thought you were a Christian?!?

Yes, even Christians face this very strong temptation. Biblical heroes faced this very strong temptation. And you know what? God NEVER condemned them for it. He reminded them that he is God and that he was there in their darkest moment. God understands when we are at our limits and gently brings us back with his promises.

So what helped me fight this thorn in the flesh that relentlessly tormented me every night? First, I reached out to other believers I could trust and asked them to pray for me. Somehow opening up about the struggle gave it far less power. I knew that other believers were interceding on my behalf while my prayers came out too jumbled and broken for me to comprehend (but God knows my heart, and knew what I needed). Second, I found an unruly bunch of outlaws who ignored social distancing and included me on a very large painting project (you know who you are 😉 ). The face to face fellowship was PARAMOUNT to my mental well-being.

*gasp!* But THE ‘RONA!!!

Look, I had more chance of dying alone by my own hand than I did from contracting a virus, so I took my chances.

Third, and probably THE MOST IMPORTANT I started writing down verses that reminded me of the promises of God and placed them on the table by my bed. That way, when Satan tried to take me out of the ranks of God’s earthly army I could remind myself that SATAN IS A FLIPPIN’ LIAR and no matter how hard life gets, God is strong enough to be my rescue and my place of peace.

Fourth, I started excepting that being tempted was not a sin in itself (even Jesus, who was sinless, was tempted). It’s what we DO with that temptation that matters. If I were to give in to that temptation, I would be sending a message to my children, my family, my friends, my community and the WORLD that my faith in God had limits. That maybe it was all hype, and when reality hit hard God didn’t show up for me. Is that the legacy I wanted to leave in my passing; that God was not enough for me in heavy trials? Heck no.

Christian, Satan KNOWS your weaknesses in your flesh. He wants you OUT of the battle. You are God’s warrior, and you are a threat to the enemy. If he can convince you that God has left you in your darkest hour, and he can convince you to end your life, he will. He knows his fate is sealed, so he’s mad as a hornet and wants to drag down as many people as he can take with him. If you go through heavy trials and cling to God instead of running away, you ruin Satan’s plans. Others might see your perseverance and faith and accept Christ because of your testimony. That makes Satan VERY angry. That’s why even Christians are tempted with suicide. Satan wants us and our testimony gone.

Remember, just because you may not FEEL God’s presence during a trial doesn’t mean he has abandon you! He gives us heavy trials so we can learn to put our trust wholly in him. Trust me, I know it’s near impossible to force yourself to remember this when your heart is shattered in a million pieces, your stomach is full of bricks, and your eyes run out of tears. But he will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. And that is a promise he will always keep.
I needed to hear this today. And no, I'm not suicidal. Although I am a loner and I found myself talking about it to my family in a heated conversation. I don't want to share about it here. Thank you for giving testimony to God and to those who look to Jesus everyday for guidance. I think whatever impossible circumstances we've been put through in life, God will make a way out of it because we believe in Him.

And that's what happened in my case. I have crossed very hard times right from the start of my life and still battling it out everyday. I guess, I should forget about fighting by myself and ask God to do the fighting. And God did give me rest after the troubled times and there were always good memories to make after the difficult times had passed. So, I know never to give up. Life itself isn't permanent. If I feel too weak or feel I am not up to it, if I feel that nothing's going right for me, I know that it's not my place to throw in the towel. That's God's job. He's my manager. Until then, however hard life gets, however much it hurts, there's only one way to go. That's forward.

You can get horses ready for battle, but it is the Lord who gives victory. - Proverbs 21:31
 
#13
This is so beautifully written, and you're right: I did need to read it. I came here to post a prayer for who knows what, but it was already answered in reading your story. Thank you, and please also know that I'd be here for you anytime. I don't care if I don't know your name and we've never met. If Jesus would do it, I want to tell Satan to stuff his anxiety and I want to do what Jesus did! <3