A
but where would they live?
That's a quote (if I remember it correctly) from Fiddler on the Roof.
I wrote the following on the long distance relationship thread, but no one answered my question:
Am I right that when I was doing internet dating and I was contacted by a guy who lives far away that he's thinking that if we hit it off on-line (and visits) and a relocation is in order that chances are the guy is thinking that it's more likely that I'll move to him than he'll move to me simply because he's the guy and I'm the girl? Or, to put it another way, when I was contacted by a guy who lived far away, I assume this is what was going through his head "Maybe she'll fall in love with me solely based on e-mails and the occasional visit, and then she'll quit her job where she's worked so hard to get to where she is, uproot her life where God has planted her, and move to wherever I live just so she can be near me." Am I wrong to assume that's what he's probably thinking? Or if he's not from Canada he assumes that I'll jump at the chance to get married even if it's from a guy I don't know on the other side of the world who hardly speaks English. It's difficult to be close friends with me if one isn't really good at English because I talk really, really fast. And when I'm tired my accent gets thick. I was at a friend's house late at night once and her cousin was there from Scotland and by 11:30 at night he said he couldn't hardly understand me because of my accent. I don't know. Either way I get offended when guys contact me from far away wanting a relationship. Am I wrong to feel that way? Am I being too cynical?
Basically, my question is, do you, gentlemen, think I am right in thinking that when a guy contacts a girl on-line for dating, let's say she lives in the same country but really far away, does he assume that if it works out that she's more likely to move to him than he is to her just by virtue of him being male or making more money? I mean, I think in sociology we learned that couples are more likely to move for a husband's job than a wife's job. I would be willing to move if I was married and my husband's job required it and there was no way of getting around it (that's how my parents ended up out west). BUT, I would never move for a guy that I was not already married to.
And I also want to bring up the topic of international relationships. I've said before that I think there a bad idea. The only way I'd ever be open to an international relationship is if they guy already had the approval of my parents. I mean, I get that it's very romantic (or at least some people think so) to give up one's life in whatever country they live in and move to another country to be with the one they love. A friend of mine did that, and it's really hard. It's hard because he knows the language and the culture and she doesn't. It's hard being in a different country where everything's different and she would do anything for a bowl of Corn Flakes but she can't get them there.
I'd suggest that if someone from another county wants to get into a relationship with you, I suggest you tell them to first move to your country and try living there for at least a year. After my ex-boyfriend was in Canada for 6 months it really started to get on his nerves and he wasn't so sure he'd want to live there for the rest of his life. So, after someone has applied to be a permanent resident, then you guys can start to get personal, but I wouldn't recommend doing it before.
That's a quote (if I remember it correctly) from Fiddler on the Roof.
I wrote the following on the long distance relationship thread, but no one answered my question:
Am I right that when I was doing internet dating and I was contacted by a guy who lives far away that he's thinking that if we hit it off on-line (and visits) and a relocation is in order that chances are the guy is thinking that it's more likely that I'll move to him than he'll move to me simply because he's the guy and I'm the girl? Or, to put it another way, when I was contacted by a guy who lived far away, I assume this is what was going through his head "Maybe she'll fall in love with me solely based on e-mails and the occasional visit, and then she'll quit her job where she's worked so hard to get to where she is, uproot her life where God has planted her, and move to wherever I live just so she can be near me." Am I wrong to assume that's what he's probably thinking? Or if he's not from Canada he assumes that I'll jump at the chance to get married even if it's from a guy I don't know on the other side of the world who hardly speaks English. It's difficult to be close friends with me if one isn't really good at English because I talk really, really fast. And when I'm tired my accent gets thick. I was at a friend's house late at night once and her cousin was there from Scotland and by 11:30 at night he said he couldn't hardly understand me because of my accent. I don't know. Either way I get offended when guys contact me from far away wanting a relationship. Am I wrong to feel that way? Am I being too cynical?
Basically, my question is, do you, gentlemen, think I am right in thinking that when a guy contacts a girl on-line for dating, let's say she lives in the same country but really far away, does he assume that if it works out that she's more likely to move to him than he is to her just by virtue of him being male or making more money? I mean, I think in sociology we learned that couples are more likely to move for a husband's job than a wife's job. I would be willing to move if I was married and my husband's job required it and there was no way of getting around it (that's how my parents ended up out west). BUT, I would never move for a guy that I was not already married to.
And I also want to bring up the topic of international relationships. I've said before that I think there a bad idea. The only way I'd ever be open to an international relationship is if they guy already had the approval of my parents. I mean, I get that it's very romantic (or at least some people think so) to give up one's life in whatever country they live in and move to another country to be with the one they love. A friend of mine did that, and it's really hard. It's hard because he knows the language and the culture and she doesn't. It's hard being in a different country where everything's different and she would do anything for a bowl of Corn Flakes but she can't get them there.
I'd suggest that if someone from another county wants to get into a relationship with you, I suggest you tell them to first move to your country and try living there for at least a year. After my ex-boyfriend was in Canada for 6 months it really started to get on his nerves and he wasn't so sure he'd want to live there for the rest of his life. So, after someone has applied to be a permanent resident, then you guys can start to get personal, but I wouldn't recommend doing it before.