I might as well quote part of that review actually, which highlights much better what I've been saying re: headship of pastors:
"My only real complaint with the book is the continual use of the phrase “Jesus’ headship” to refer to "Jesus’ leadership" role in the church. I wrote extensively on this earlier in the year. Ironically, in light of this book, the idea of “head” as “one who rules” is foreign to the Greek language. For the Greeks, the head symbolized prominence and was physiologically understood as the source or origin of life for the rest of the body, but it was not the ruler or the control center of the body. “Head” as “one who rules” is a Roman understanding of the metaphor read back into the scripture. (See my
Household of God series starting with the post in the last section called
Household Code Lost in Translation: Kephale and the next eleven posts.) But this was a minor distraction."
In relation to membership, I think the conclusion I draw from all of this is that a pastor has no right whatsoever to demand membership from the congregation. The pastor is not the ruler over the local church, at least not in the sense we take it normally.
Jesus clearly taught that in His church things were not to be like that:
Mat 20:25 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them.
Mat 20:26 But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister;
Mat 20:27 And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant:
Mat 20:28 Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.
And I like Barne's commentary on this:
The princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them - That is, over their subjects. "You know that such honors are customary among nations. The kings of the earth raise their favorites to posts of trust and power they give authority to some over others; but my kingdom is established in a different manner. All are to be on a level. The rich, the poor, the learned, the unlearned, the bond, the free, are to be equal. He will be the most distinguished that shows most humility, the deepest sense of his unworthiness, and the most earnest desire to promote the welfare of his brethren."
A pastor should not tell you what you can and cannot do, whether you need to give or not, or how much, whether you can get married or not, whether you can do this or do that.
Not only that, but many a pastor I'm sure has prevented the individual members of a local church in using their God-given gifts and talents within the congregation, either due to segregation (dividing old from the young for example), suppression (actively commanding or not giving permission for certain members to do certain things), distraction (offering alternative 'job's in the church such as putting our chairs and making cups of tea and other such menial tasks, to distract from the individuals' more important Spirit-given talents and abilities)...and I am sure that all these authoritarian pastors will be answerable to God on judgement day for these things they do.
