Courage

[LeKitten]

Hello Everyone.

I'm not really used to asking for help I tend to keep things to myself and pray to God but lately I feel like my prayers have been blocked. I just feel really numb and lost.

I was born with several eye conditions half of them I can't even prenounce let alone spell!!. I was also born with cateracts which in the last few years have grown rapidly. The latest appointment I had with my eye consultant confirmed that they are getting to the stage where we should look into the real risks of the cateract operation. They've always said it's up to me when it get bad enough or we think that the sight loss is so bad that whether the cateract operation worked or not it didn't matter. But I'm so scared of pain and being uncomfortable. I'm go for further tests this coming week to see what the risk is if we remove the cateracts whether any other damage will be done.

My sight isn't very good I am short sighted but I have enough to enjoy a few hobbies, reading large print books ect.. I've never had enough sight to see if people are walking toward or away or even their facial expressions so I know that even with the operation that I won't have normal sight but there is a chance that it might give me some back that the cateract has blocked out.

I know the decision is up to me but I lack the courage to make a decision when I find out what the results are. I am currently un-employed and a part of me is thinking, if I go blind then that's the easy way out no body is going to employ me with little qualifications I could spend the day doing what I want and getting money from the government. But the other half of me wants to fight for what I have and take the chance I might get back to how it was and finish my education and go out and there and make a difference. Plenty of disabled people do great things in the world and I could be one of them if I could only just be brave and now cower away like I have done since I was born.

I guess what I am asking for is just to know someone else is out there that I'm not alone because I feel it right now and it's such an odd feeling. I have amazing support from my family but I don't understand why I feel seperated from God.

Anyway, thanks for listening or well for reading.
God Bless you all.

Amyx

 

[LynnJ]

Hello Amyx,

Thank you for sharing so honestly with us. Your situation is not easy, but I pray that God gives you strength and courage to make the right decision. I also pray that as you spend time with Him that you feel His presence so that there is no doubt that He is with you. Sometimes we feel alone when God seems to be silent in our lives, but He is always working in the spiritual realm even when we don't see it. Trust and faith are key during times of spiritual silence. I encourage you to read some of the Psalms and sit quietly in prayer when you feel alone, and see if God shows up. He does for me when I'm quiet enough to allow Him to whisper to my heart.

You are in my prayers for strength, courage, healing, peace, and a strong sense of His presence in your life.


"Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him . . ." (Psalm 37:7, NIV)

"O Lord my God, I called to you for help and you healed me." (Psalm 30:2, NIV)

"The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace." (Psalm 29:11, NIV)

"I love you, O Lord, my strength." (Psalm 18:1, NIV)

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" (Psalm 42:1-2, NIV)

 

[Enigma]

I can empathize with your feelings I've felt alone and separated from God many times. We know he is ever present but these lonely times are frustrating. I will pray for your physical well being and your piece of mind.

 

[LeKitten]

Thank you so much I'm feeling abit better and those verses really helped me pull myself together abit more. It can only get better.