Deciphering a breakup

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tartanscot

tartanscot

Banned
#1
May 12, 2013
19
0
0
#1
I dont know how to handle all the love you have for me = I'm broken and just know this is too good to be true.
I dont know how to love you in the way you deserve = I'm telling you how you feel.
I dont want this breakup to get ugly = I want you to make me feel good about what I just did to you.
I want to always be best friends = see above
I didnt want to break your heart = Actually, yes I did
I think in the end this will be the best for both of us = for me at least
Call me sometime = please dont
I want what's best for you = it's best you dont call me
I'm just confused = about what I ever saw in you
I need to find myself = another mate
I've done some soul searching = I've been talking to my friends and they dont like you
You are a great person = just not for me
We've grown apart = I'm bored
In time, you will find that special someone = I'm so buying condoms on the way to my new place
God is telling us that we really were just not meant for eachother = I'm not taking the blame for this

It all sounds nice and caring, but at the end of the day, he/she just wants to not feel guilty and keep all the control.
Some will laugh, some will call me cynical....
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#2
#2
you want me to be honest?

this is how I normally look at it and how some of my friends told me they really meant when they said the words:

tartanscot said:
I dont know how to handle all the love you have for me = You are smothering me and too needy, its really creeping me out.

I dont know how to love you in the way you deserve = I don't really have as strong feels as you do about me and I"m tired of pretending to be as in to you as you are to me. you are just not the guy I see myself marrying.

.
I dont want this breakup to get ugly = why don't you leave already?

I want to always be best friends = you're a good fall back guy to do things for me. I like keeping you on a string.

I didnt want to break your heart = but I will because I really don't want to stay in this relationship.

I think in the end this will be the best for both of us = because if we keep in this relationship, I will start doing all the annoy things that I know piss you off in order to get YOU to break up with me, and in the end come to hate myself for not just ending it already.


Call me sometime = please dont yeah that normally is it. at least for a few months or until both are in another relationship. oddly enough both my ex-boyfriends have called me and asked for relationship advice, one send me his thesis to look over. so it really depends on the people.

I want what's best for you = trust me, you have some delusional ideas about me and I hate to tip the pedestal over but you really need to find someone else because I'm not who you think I am and/or I don't love you in that way, why keep pretending?

I'm just confused = about what I ever saw in you yeah....

I need to find myself = I'd rather be alone then with you.


I've done some soul searching = I've been talking to my friends and they dont like you sometimes, but sometimes it means: I looked at our relationships and you have some serious flaws that I can't live with and I really don't want to have your babies and make more mini-yous that will piss me off.


You are a great person = just not for me yeah

We've grown apart = I'm bored sometimes, other times people change and stop trying to make a relationship work. not spending enough quality time together. not sharing the same hopes and dreams or common interest. not communicating. having an affair with someone else. there are many reason people grow apart.

In time, you will find that special someone = I'm so buying condoms on the way to my new place OOOO No! definitely NOT! Its more: I see you as a nice guy but I don't want to marry you. see reasons above.


God is telling us that we really were just not meant for each other = I've actually used this one and it was because the guy I was dating was Buddhist and wanted to worship idols. so....

It all sounds nice and caring, but at the end of the day, he/she just wants to not feel guilty and keep all the control.
Some will laugh, some will call me cynical....
Click to expand...
no, in the end of the day its not about control.

its about getting the guy to leave you alone without him doing something crazy.

like get drunk and call you at midnight for a month to curse you out.

or not tell his mom that you broke up and have HER call you at 3 am asking why her son has not called her in a week.

wait, those lines didn't work.

nm.

ANyway, I hope it gives you some insight.

It's what I think when I say or hear those lines from people.

though my friends consistently tell me that I'm atypical.

their phrase is "weird, but a good weird"

can you tell me what THAT means?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
tartanscot

tartanscot

Banned
#3
May 12, 2013
19
0
0
#3
Truth be told, that all was a list of reasons my recent ex girlfriend gave me, and how I interpreted it all
 
tartanscot

tartanscot

Banned
#4
May 12, 2013
19
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#4
She is self admittely "quite damaged" and simply feels that she need to avoid all relationships in order to renew her relationship with God and sort herself out. I'm left feeling quite like an experiment and just not good enough. I am getting to the point where I truly wonder if there are any women left that truly want to be loved completely, and have enough left themselves to return. I suppose if there is, then God will bring us face to face at some point.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#5
#5
tartanscot said:
I dont know how to handle all the love you have for me = I'm broken and just know this is too good to be true.
I dont know how to love you in the way you deserve = I'm telling you how you feel.
I dont want this breakup to get ugly = I want you to make me feel good about what I just did to you.
I want to always be best friends = see above
I didnt want to break your heart = Actually, yes I did
I think in the end this will be the best for both of us = for me at least
Call me sometime = please dont
I want what's best for you = it's best you dont call me
I'm just confused = about what I ever saw in you
I need to find myself = another mate
I've done some soul searching = I've been talking to my friends and they dont like you
You are a great person = just not for me
We've grown apart = I'm bored
In time, you will find that special someone = I'm so buying condoms on the way to my new place
God is telling us that we really were just not meant for eachother = I'm not taking the blame for this

It all sounds nice and caring, but at the end of the day, he/she just wants to not feel guilty and keep all the control.
Some will laugh, some will call me cynical....
Click to expand...
I think you need to give her more credit and assume less.

Just because she says she wants to 'find herself,' tartan, does not mean she is going off to get another boyfriend , or, 'mate' as you put it, probably that Scandinavian word-culture difference, eh, mate :D

But, yeah, I hear what you're saying, but I would be careful to not put words in her mouth, which, all and all, will more than anything else, put you down on yourself and thinking she was bad and you are bad. Of which, neither is true. The Lord leads, this is my FAVORITE saying, and, He does. He is just moving you on to something new, that will be better for you, and, if I were you I would pray for your ex-girlfriend, that God blesses her too. It will just be BEST that way, you will see, God bless you, brother :)
 
tartanscot

tartanscot

Banned
#6
May 12, 2013
19
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0
#6
I completely agree actually. With a broken heart comes some cynicism unfortunately. I do and will always pray for her...this is the letter I plan on giving her when she drives away for the last time, with instructions "do not open till you get to your destination" and I mean this with the utmost sincerety, I truly do.

My dearest Heather;


Well, the day has finally come when I watch you drive away for the last time, and will most likely never see you again.....


There are a few things I want you to know.
I truly hope that you find the peace and happiness that you seek and so dearly deserve. I hope that God takes you in his loving arms and shows you the way to your dreams.


I hope that in time, when God wills it so, that you find a man that inspires in ways that I could not....that loves you in ways that I tried....that can bask in the love that you so dearly want to give....to respect and protect you in ways that you deserve.


Most importantly, I hope that you attain inner peace and satisfaction with who you are.


I will also find myself, and fully allow God to enter into my heart and bring me the peace, courage, patience, wisdom and compassion to be the man that you looked for, but could not find.


Finally, know that I will miss you beyond words, and will always wish you well, and ask God to look over you as you make the journey that is ahead of you.


I will, for the rest of my life, cherish what brief time I had with you, and will always believe that in some way, we saved each other.


My heart is broken, but I truly believe that God felt it necessary for me to suffer this in order for me to fully realise just what his plan for me is, and what I need to do not only to fulfill this plan, but for the first time.....find myself.


Heather, I will always love you and will never ever forget you...........


Scott
 
tartanscot

tartanscot

Banned
#7
May 12, 2013
19
0
0
#7
This will be a time which I will invest in a deeper relationship with God...after 21 years of two failed marriages (first wife was a cheater, second became addicted to pain killers and alcohol) and now Heather....I find that I am broken as well....depleted self-esteem, self loathing, and truly doubting that I can even BE loved.
 
G

GreenNnice

Guest
#8
#8
The Lord leads. Folllow Him, He gets us through all we've done and are to do :)
No one else's plan is yours, a lot fail at marriage, that's OK, the way we move on from that, serving Him, in faith, is what matters, God bless you, Scott :)
 
tartanscot

tartanscot

Banned
#9
May 12, 2013
19
0
0
#9
GreenNnice said:
The Lord leads. Folllow Him, He gets us through all we've done and are to do :)
No one else's plan is yours, a lot fail at marriage, that's OK, the way we move on from that, serving Him, in faith, is what matters, God bless you, Scott :)
Click to expand...
Thank you so very much (Tapadh Leat)
 
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