Finance Advice Request

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Q

QuietGuy

Guest
#1
#1
Hello all,

I am new here so I would firstly like to say thank you for allowing me to join.

So my problem is a serious one so I shall start at the beginning...

I live in the UK and my girlfriend lives in Romania. We first met when I travelled there a few years ago. I believe in my heart that God brought us together. She too is a Christian.

Unfortunately, a couple years ago, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. The doctors prescribed medication to try to clear it up. Expensive medication, several hundred dollars per month. With no way for her to pay it, I readily chose to pay.

Unfortunately the treatment was not successful and the Cancer only got worse. I had the option of borrowing money to pay for the operation, or letting this cancer consume her.

I have also been supporting her as she has been unable to work due to this illness.

But more recently, I have not been able to help her as my debts have reached a point that almost all my salary goes towards paying them off.
This has mean that my girlfriend has had to resort to borrowing small amounts of money from what family she can, just to survive. With currently virtually no means of income, her situation is getting worse, day by day.

I have tried consolidate my loans, in order to make things easier, but no company will help me due to the level of debt. I even approached the Citizens Advice Bureau for advice, they could not help. So now I do not know what to do or where to turn.

We hope one day to be married, but have not been able to see each other for months now, and due to our situations, we have no idea how long it will be before we are able to once again.

I have been praying for a solution to our problems every day for months.

Thank you for your time.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#2
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#2
First of all, there is no cure for ovarian cancer. It's a terminal illness. Second, the doctor is an idiot, ovarian cancer cannot be "cleared up" like it was an outbreak of acne. :/ Sorry to say, this doctor has robbed you of your money and is a fraud.. :(

I suggest you get a different doctor and/or a different hospital. Call the American Medical Association, and Consumer Affairs. AND get a good lawyer to sue the doctor so you can hopefully get your money back.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
41,301
16,296
113
69
Tennessee
#3
You were kind and generous to do what you have already done but now have reached a point where you must give this over to God and to just pray for God's will to be done for her life and for yours as well. Hopefully, you will find understanding and support from the members of this site. Welcome to CC.
 
Q

QuietGuy

Guest
#4
#4
The doctors operated and removed the affected ovary, taking (hopefully) all of the cancerous tissues with it.

I think at first, the doctors did not realise it was cancer, but possibly a cyst, hence the medication.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#5
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#5
Hello, is your girlfriend in remission now? If it's possible and she hasn't already she should talk to a lawyer about a malpractice suit against the Doctor who didn't properly diagnose her. I'm not familiar with the Romainan medical system, is it up to date or are they in poor shape?

It might make your situation easier if you married her and she came to your country to live with you. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you should talk to a lawyer and see if they can help you legally consolidate , declare bankruptcy or what would be best. All of our countries laws are so different so it's really hard to say.

Welcome to CC God blew you.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#6
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#6
Fenner said:
Hello, is your girlfriend in remission now? If it's possible and she hasn't already she should talk to a lawyer about a malpractice suit against the Doctor who didn't properly diagnose her. I'm not familiar with the Romainan medical system, is it up to date or are they in poor shape?

It might make your situation easier if you married her and she came to your country to live with you. I don't know what to tell you. Maybe you should talk to a lawyer and see if they can help you legally consolidate , declare bankruptcy or what would be best. All of our countries laws are so different so it's really hard to say.

Welcome to CC God BLESS you.
Click to expand...

Fixed it for ya, Fenner. :)
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#7
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#7
QuietGuy said:
The doctors operated and removed the affected ovary, taking (hopefully) all of the cancerous tissues with it.

I think at first, the doctors did not realise it was cancer, but possibly a cyst, hence the medication.
Click to expand...

Wow.. There's a HUMONGOUS difference between cancer cells and a cyst. And anyhow, medicine does NOT "clear up" a cyst.. They do surgery for that, and usually a biopsy first to see if it's cancerous, BEFORE they do surgery to see if they NEED to do surgery. Your doctor sounds like a quack.
 
Q

QuietGuy

Guest
#8
#8
Thank you to those who have replied.

I was really hoping more for some advice with regards to our finance situation, and not so much on the medical side of things. All I know is, that for now, she is alive and doing well. Maybe the cancer will come back, maybe it wont. And maybe my girlfriend will live a long and happy life and defy the odds for someone who has been through what she has. That is in the hands of the lord.

But like I said, it was more advice on the finance side of things I would appreciate some wisdom on. Her birthday is coming up and if things had been going well, she was due to visit me soon. But now I fear I will not be able to afford to even send her flowers.

We are in the hands of God.
 
santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
#9
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
38
48
#9
Financially, I don't think there is much else you can do. You need to stop spending more money than you're making. You can't help anyone if you're under a mountain of debt.

I think the best solution is to get married and have her move to the UK. They probably have better medical care than Romania, and a couple can, indeed, live cheaper than two individuals in two households. Does she have workplace skills? Does she have a job? Can she get a job in your country? I would get the immigration ball rolling and the marriage plans in place.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#10
Jan 24, 2011
11,780
2,943
113
#10
I doubt they will let a terminally ill person have permanent residency status in England. Well, that is how it is in Canada. I would very much consider not marrying her, unless she gets better.

I also feel you have gone far what is expected of someone who is not married, let alone even engaged to you. You have done so much, I do agree it is time to hand over this situation to God, and stop going into debt. I am very sorry this is happening, but I would have extreme doubts about the medical system in Romania, not to offend anyone.

And pray. God will show you how to get through this, and what he requires of you with regards to this friend.
 
L

LeonT

Banned
#11
Aug 27, 2016
73
1
0
#11
Go raw. If you look up the raw diet in terms of allowing people to go into remission WITHOUT chemo or drugs, you will find many stories. Also, do some reasearch on pure frankincense. Lab studies have proven that frankincense destroys cancer cells.

Think about it - sugar and processed foods feed cancer, so if you cut those things out, the cancer will die because there will be nothing to nourish it. As tough as it may be to go raw, it will be SIGNIFICANTLY less expensive than continuing to pay for failing drugs. Doctors are taught in the mindset that your diet doesn't affect cancer, but this is simply illogical.
 
N

Nice_Lady

Senior Member
#12
May 13, 2014
148
2
18
#12
Ok i know i sound rude but lets face it. U want to save person or u want a wife? If wife then why u r not married yet? U cant save person. If God decided that u reached ur age limit - Rejoice! U will be happier in heaven for sure.
 
Q

QuietGuy

Guest
#13
#13
I do not think you rude.
I don't want 'A' wife. I want a wife who is my life, who is my love and who understands my relationship with God.
I do not see why so many people think life is so simple as... Get a wife or get a husband. No, It is about Love. Not just about having a wife. People do not realise that they do not need a piece of paper to be married in the eyes of the lord. Remember, the Bible says that for some people marriage is right, but for others it is not.

My girlfriend had stage one cancer, which is totally treatable! Not always terminal. It was fully removed, so hopefully will not come back, or need further treatment.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#14
Feb 21, 2014
70,869
9,601
113
#14
QuietGuy said:
I do not think you rude.
I don't want 'A' wife. I want a wife who is my life, who is my love and who understands my relationship with God.
I do not see why so many people think life is so simple as... Get a wife or get a husband. No, It is about Love. Not just about having a wife. People do not realise that they do not need a piece of paper to be married in the eyes of the lord. Remember, the Bible says that for some people marriage is right, but for others it is not.

My girlfriend had stage one cancer, which is totally treatable! Not always terminal. It was fully removed, so hopefully will not come back, or need further treatment.
Click to expand...

It was caught early, and that's why it was treatable. However like I said before, there is no CURE for ovarian cancer. It's one of the more deadly types of cancer. I'm glad she's ok though. :) I've had cancer too so from one survivor to another, please tell her "congrats" from me.
 
N

Nice_Lady

Senior Member
#15
May 13, 2014
148
2
18
#15
QuietGuy said:
I do not think you rude.
I don't want 'A' wife. I want a wife who is my life, who is my love and who understands my relationship with God.
I do not see why so many people think life is so simple as... Get a wife or get a husband. No, It is about Love. Not just about having a wife. People do not realise that they do not need a piece of paper to be married in the eyes of the lord. Remember, the Bible says that for some people marriage is right, but for others it is not.

My girlfriend had stage one cancer, which is totally treatable! Not always terminal. It was fully removed, so hopefully will not come back, or need further treatment.
Click to expand...
Love?? What is love? I remember Jesus said " love ur neighbour"..anyway...i hope u know what u r doing
 
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