Having a Weak Moment

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farrahanne91

Guest
#1
#1
I have been single for almost 3 years now, and quite often I find myself wanting a significant other. I have these weak moments where I feel like I need male attention. Not inappropriately, but I'm texting different guys just so that I can know one of them cares. I know it's because I have major insecurities with self image and worth. This is something I really struggle with. I'm not sure what to do, and it's definitely a hindrance. I've talked to others about it, but I feel like I'm at a point where I need to speak anonymously in a place like this where people can give me an unbiased response. Anything would be helpful.
 
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Ariel82

Guest
#2
#2
God made you, don't insult Him by telling Him He made a mistake. You are beautiful and beloved.

Psalm 139:14
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#3
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
83
48
35
#3
farrahanne91, I literally just talked with a friend last night about this. I was telling her how I put my self-worth into other people's hands, and that sometimes I think I would feel more valid and worth it if a guy liked me. That somehow, being liked (even by females/people in general) will somehow satisfy my need to have my self-worth filled. It is a down-spiraling thought pattern, for me at least.

What we have to learn is that our true value is based on Christ, and Christ only. Anything or anyone else will fail eventually. Let's say I was married, and that I felt valuable to my husband, but let's say that he has an off day (which WILL happen, for both of us). Suddenly, I don't feel valuable.

Why would I put my entire worth and value into a human's hands like that? It could change at any minute.

What I am trying to do is to memorize the Truth (scripture verses that is) and when the enemy (or even myself) comes at me with lies ("See that Rachel? That guy didn't even look at you. You are not worth pursuing." ; "Clearly, Rachel, you need this to feel alright about yourself"), then I can pray to God and fill my mind with what He says instead.

It's hard. It's really hard, especially when it seems that the world/others seem to reinforce the lies, but the thing about truth is that it doesn't change no matter how you may feel at the moment.

Hopefully I didn't project too much of myself onto you, that is just how I feel about it and how I'm learning to deal with it. I'm glad you came to CC to post about it, and I hope that you feel safe here. :)
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#4
Apr 18, 2013
9,833
2,896
113
#4
Farrah,

There is nothing "wrong" with feeling lonely, or with wanting a significant other.
That's perfectly normal.
And the more we're full of insecurity, the harder those normal feelings hit us.

But there's nothing wrong, or unspiritual about you just because you're feeling these very normal things.

What IS important, is that you don't let these emotions drive you into making wrong choices.

There are lots of nice Christian women on here who will be happy to talk to you, and pray with you.
Try visiting chat, and talking to some of the girls, and ask them for advice and prayer.
Also, it would probably really help you to talk to your pastor about this; he can probably offer some special encouragement since he knows you, and maybe he can recommend some things to get involved with so you don't feel so lonely.
 
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Donkeyfish07

Guest
#5
#5
It's natural to have those kind of feelings, we're social creatures. I don't really have anything else to add on that though.....Rachel and Max did a great job of responding to that me thinks
 
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Powemm

Guest
#6
#6
it's that continual thirst that keeps
Our dependency "great" in God
I agree with everything written above .,
read up on gods love .. Once God gets
In there girl .. Those guys will have to start acting like God to get near that precious heart of yours again ..
There is no sweeter love than His .. nothing wrong feeling that way it's what we do with it and who we run with to that changes everything ..
 
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Ugly

Guest
#7
#7
farrahanne91 said:
I have been single for almost 3 years now, and quite often I find myself wanting a significant other. I have these weak moments where I feel like I need male attention. Not inappropriately, but I'm texting different guys just so that I can know one of them cares. I know it's because I have major insecurities with self image and worth. This is something I really struggle with. I'm not sure what to do, and it's definitely a hindrance. I've talked to others about it, but I feel like I'm at a point where I need to speak anonymously in a place like this where people can give me an unbiased response. Anything would be helpful.
Click to expand...
Honestly, the last thing you need is a 'significant other'. Because you'll be finding worth in the relationship, not in your own self. And since people will always let you down, you'll eventually be let down, and take it as a sign against who you are, and bring yourself down farther. Not until you're sure who you are, apart from another, will you be able to approach a relationship where your worth is not in the relationship, or the person, but in yourself and God. That way, when that person fails you, you don't make their failure yours.
 
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FireWire

Guest
#8
#8
Been there and done that and well

It doesn't work doing it that way.

You'll be disappointed time and time and again especially these days when people look after number one.

You'll find all you need to feel complete in the bible with some faith.
 
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Powemm

Guest
#9
#9
one thing that really threw the chains off for me in this area of bondage .. Was coming to know gods charter real well.. I found when I leaned about His character the deceptive longing getting love somewhere else stopped .. He became my true source because "God" never changes in telling us who we are and what our value to Him is ..His love never changes .. Available 24/7 when this habit of remembering and constantly reminding ourselves sets in .. It becomes first nature .. We are then given discernment skills when others begin speaking to us and who it is we are "really" dealing with ..we are then able to "compare" conversations and see if it matches up with what God has been telling us.. and to see if what we are speaking to someone matches up too.. It is the "reflection" of God coming out of a person and through our selves that we should be looking for and striving to be .. when we have this knowledge . We are then not deceived or disaapointed.. a good measure to see how truly in need of God we are , is to ask the question "am I "looking" for something ? It's a huge clue we need to he filled in that area by God .. we know we are ready when we are ready to "give" instead of looking to get ..
spending time with God requires putting Down the phone , and spending time with God so we can share some deep intimate time with God . sounds like your soul is thirsty for Him :) Allow Him to fill His cup in you.. then all the other little cups your running to for a drink won't seem so impressive ...
We all have a God cup .. With a hole in the bottom .. If He isn't allowed to pour in who He is we start getting real thirsty.. We run to people , places, and things.. I have found if at any time im running to a person , to a place or to something very often , or more and more .. It's a very big clue that I need to spend sone deep devotional time with God .. This takes time , it will require moving some things off our plate to make room .. But it is so worth it .. I'll be praying for you in this :)
Pm me anytime if you just need to vent or talk .. I'll make time for ya :)
 
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ChristReconcilesAll

Guest
#10
#10
Don't believe Satan's lie that you're not loved. You are a unique child of God, and God loves you. Read the word of God to know what true love is. God is love. The spirit of God will inspire you with love and peace through the word of God. Get into the word. You will be truly blessed. God bless you, sister.
 
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