How important is looks when seeking a mate?

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sushirolls

Guest
#61
#61
Im not sure where to start. I am horrible at organizing my thoughts but here is my opinion. I personally think personality is more important than looks because typically the guys who are cute are the ones that know they are cute and think that they can play women and get away because they are cute. They tend to be the least faithful, the most corrupt and the most full of themselves. Looks are definitely not everything.
 
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TrulyHIS

Guest
#62
#62
How important is looks? Well, I think it's pretty important actually. It's minor in comparison to overall compatibility, but it still ranks pretty high....at least initially. If I'm not attracted to a guy, then the interest isn't there. But I will say that beauty is very subjective and that getting to know someone can change the attraction. My Pastor is not handsome by worldly standards, but his love for Jesus is so beautiful that I can't help but innocently hope God brings me someone like him one day. So, appearance takes a back seat in that situation. I suppose it differs for everyone. Fortunately, God looks on the heart.
 
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Tintin

Guest
#64
#64
Is that Natalie Portman's cyclops sister?
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#65
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
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#65
iTOREtheSKY said:
Ugly is right...we,as men know when we are out of our league. You women know it too. Yer' thinking "omg..does this dude really think he has a shot with me?" Christian women want a christian version of George Clooney or Brad Pitt. Period. lol
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I'm curious as to how often men think women are out of their league vs. how often women think men are out of their league. I usually feel the opposite of what you stated, I usually feel that a guy is out of my league.

The whole "league" thing is a bit silly, I mean for me to feel that I'm not good enough for someone? That's not cool. Yet it happens, for both men and women. Seems like a mixture of reality but also one's preconceived notions that "Surely someone like THAT wouldn't like someone like ME."

I don't know what I'm trying to say, hopefully it at least makes some sense. :)
 
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Tintin

Guest
#66
#66
Rachel, it's common for guys to think girls/women are out of their league. I used to think this way and still do to an extent (I'm being honest) but I'm trying to believe more readily that we're all made in the image of God and that everyone of us is unique and special but no more valuable (or better) than each other. It's a difficult mindset to entertain but very important.

rachelsedge said:
I'm curious as to how often men think women are out of their league vs. how often women think men are out of their league. I usually feel the opposite of what you stated, I usually feel that a guy is out of my league.

The whole "league" thing is a bit silly, I mean for me to feel that I'm not good enough for someone? That's not cool. Yet it happens, for both men and women. Seems like a mixture of reality but also one's preconceived notions that "Surely someone like THAT wouldn't like someone like ME."

I don't know what I'm trying to say, hopefully it at least makes some sense. :)
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#67
#67
rachelsedge said:
I'm curious as to how often men think women are out of their league vs. how often women think men are out of their league. I usually feel the opposite of what you stated, I usually feel that a guy is out of my league.

The whole "league" thing is a bit silly, I mean for me to feel that I'm not good enough for someone? That's not cool. Yet it happens, for both men and women. Seems like a mixture of reality but also one's preconceived notions that "Surely someone like THAT wouldn't like someone like ME."

I don't know what I'm trying to say, hopefully it at least makes some sense. :)
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I think in general like what Tintin said,it seems more common place for men to think a woman out of their league. It's just worldly thinking & it is silly. I think we tend to put women on a pedestal & then we start to let ourselves become insecure,because we've built up this ridiculous fantasy in our minds about you. All we need to do is start looking at one another & ourselves the way God does. Easier said than done,I know. So much unlearning to do from all the pollution of what we hear & see drilled into us from a young age.
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#68
#68
iTOREtheSKY said:
I think in general like what Tintin said,it seems more common place for men to think a woman out of their league. It's just worldly thinking & it is silly. I think we tend to put women on a pedestal & then we start to let ourselves become insecure,because we've built up this ridiculous fantasy in our minds about you. All we need to do is start looking at one another & ourselves the way God does. Easier said than done,I know. So much unlearning to do from all the pollution of what we hear & see drilled into us from a young age.
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This is very true about men putting women on a pedestal. I've experienced this and it wasn't enjoyable.
As I told the man who put me there, I don't want to be on a pedestal because when I fall off it will be
very painful.
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#69
#69
Chrissy77 said:
This is very true about men putting women on a pedestal. I've experienced this and it wasn't enjoyable.
As I told the man who put me there, I don't want to be on a pedestal because when I fall off it will be
very painful.
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Well, yeah, but then your man is supposed to catch you, Chrissy. I mean, how else is he supposed to get you in his arms than to put you somewhere where you can fall into them. And then before he can set you on your feet, you toss your hair out of your face, look into his eyes and realize how strong and dependable and testosterone-y he is, and exclaim with baited breath, "Why...my hero." And then you fall irretrievably in love with him.

At least, that's how I always understood it worked.
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#70
#70
Shouryu said:
Well, yeah, but then your man is supposed to catch you, Chrissy. I mean, how else is he supposed to get you in his arms than to put you somewhere where you can fall into them. And then before he can set you on your feet, you toss your hair out of your face, look into his eyes and realize how strong and dependable and testosterone-y he is, and exclaim with baited breath, "Why...my hero." And then you fall irretrievably in love with him.

At least, that's how I always understood it worked.
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Actually I love your idea of how it works... Now to find me a man with some strong arms.:)
 
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Shouryu

Guest
#71
#71
Chrissy77 said:
Actually I love your idea of how it works... Now to find me a man with some strong arms.:)
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Figures. That's what I get for skipping barbell curls and only doing pull-ups. *facepalm*
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#72
#72
Shouryu said:
Figures. That's what I get for skipping barbell curls and only doing pull-ups. *facepalm*
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Hey as long as he can catch me figuratively, then I couldn't ask for more.
I'd rather have a man who is there to hold me when I am weak.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#73
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
131
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#73
Shouryu said:
Well, yeah, but then your man is supposed to catch you, Chrissy. I mean, how else is he supposed to get you in his arms than to put you somewhere where you can fall into them. And then before he can set you on your feet, you toss your hair out of your face, look into his eyes and realize how strong and dependable and testosterone-y he is, and exclaim with baited breath, "Why...my hero." And then you fall irretrievably in love with him.

At least, that's how I always understood it worked.
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Chrissy77 said:
Hey as long as he can catch me figuratively, then I couldn't ask for more.
I'd rather have a man who is there to hold me when I am weak.
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I've been put up on pedestals, and I've always fallen off. Like Chrissy said, the aftermath was painful... I can't even conceptualize what it would be like to be caught or held when I'm weak. But I can't say I hate the idea. However, I'd want things to go both ways. If he was weak, I'd want him to lean on me. No one can be strong all the time.
 
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Chrissy77

Guest
#74
#74
DuchessAimee said:
I've been put up on pedestals, and I've always fallen off. Like Chrissy said, the aftermath was painful... I can't even conceptualize what it would be like to be caught or held when I'm weak. But I can't say I hate the idea. However, I'd want things to go both ways. If he was weak, I'd want him to lean on me. No one can be strong all the time.
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Well said!!!!!!!
 
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SeatBelt

Guest
#76
#76
I think looks are very important when seeking someone. If I can't see them, how can I find them.








(sorry, I've been resisting posting that for epochs.)

Ultimately, the physical fades, leaving only what is beneath. Find someone beautiful There, and the rest is simply packaging.

This does bring about the argument of all the Christmas presents from your youth that you played with the box instead of the toy, but I counter that with a) That was your youth. b)...and your attention faded from that, too, elsewise you would still be playing with said box. c) Oooooh look a monkey! <points, flees the moment you are distracted>
 
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Powemm

Guest
#77
#77
Reading these threads explains a whole whole lot of
I too was guilty of looking and playing only with the "packaging"..
Unfortunately , I was so enamored by the packaging, I didn't realize I was actually being "enveloped" up in it ..from there All i could do was begin looking at the inside of the wrapping .. , what I thought was beautiful was actually encasing me... .. Becoming terrified by who it was hiding inside ..
Who was inside was in no comparison to how pretty the outer wrapping was..

growing from that .. I've come to a place where I see the wrapping ... But I know "better" now .. To listen from a distance to the echo of the one who is really inside.. it's really very interesting ..
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#78
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#78
Great! the question matters youth, old and pastors... I attended a synagogue this saturday and saw the ruler there pays attention to it, same way a pastor would on his/her sheep.
The outlook matters, and the first question is, in all developed nations: "What do you for a living?". This question is automatic, unless my clothing or wallet shows I´m rich enough to prove I´m a retired rich man (Ja! Ja!).

So, as far as I can see, mate selection has to do with beauty (bodily or spirituallly thought) and the economy to maintain it, to prosper, to keep it, to enjoy it (and I have my mom who loves to dream, as her 70, to find a rich man who loves her to marry).

Does companionship matters? Do Christians seek for those who they like?
Hispano culture concerns on money and beauty. Perhaps for child rearring, same way the woman who married Isaac... (She and her sliblings saw camels full of gold presents) That was wealth!
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#79
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#79
Each has the right for their preferences, whether skin colors, wealth or beauty... It´s under the skin! A program or a ADN code. I don´t know! But the are lawful reasons to "discern" or "segregate" in mate selection (it is the same end result). Men and women do it automatically.
It´s a build-in code.
 
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secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#80
May 3, 2013
8,719
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#80
It´s like window shopping: Anyone buys what he/she sees. But "HOME" is for those whom you have cherished.
 
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