i am sad not selfish i promise!

[louiseelis]

hi everyone i just about have the strength to ask, i will proberly get a lot of reprimands for this but here goes: i attend a church where the last days are seeming more evident the enemy is trying to place so much distant lonliness and disorder in a church where when i was ten i just couldnt wait to be a part of the joy that radiated on every persons face, i know we as people go through test and trails and the enemy attacks the church.


But what if you never see joy in the church your at, im not fault finding or complaining, i cant seem to say what im trying to say without sounding that way basicly i ain pretending things are rosey anymore it breaks my heart tha so many times i have to wear a mask and others do because they are afraid people wont care or they will judge them or that they just wont understand i am not gona give up praying about all things in my life and the life of others that concern me things and poeple i care about poeple i may never even know.


I ask that you would basicly pray that i will have strength to withstand until god shows me for certain how he wants to use me i always ask him to let his will for my life be my dream and ambition for my life but lately many areas of my life have been so difficult it all started to cascade around me when i lost my dad to cancer 28th april 2007 but i dont want to complain i was blessed with a great dad for 21 years who was my best freind.

I just feel like i aint got the strength to keep prayin bout christian mates or why is this person treatin me that way or why does this person never call, or why has this person stopped talkin to me or carin bout me WHO CARES ANYMOREthats how i feel not bitter just sad with certain situations and i love these people tons they just dont get it i love strangers i care about peoplei know trails and test happens i just feel like why should i care if no one else is bothered why should i cry out at god at night when no one else around me seems to care aboutthe things i care about(well sometimes it seems that way i know this sounds bad but i just cant do it anymore) i just dont care anymore im just hurtin myself i just keep cryin i have two unsaved mates and all the christian mates i had has left church they dont spk to me cos they said me bein a christian makes them feel guilty so i am a loner i dont care about appearances i dont care if people think im a sad loner this is the reality, and i just dont care anymore

 

[missy2shoes]

The great thing about Jesus is ....He is unchanging......we can rely on His friendship no matter what....

I love people, but I'm pretty much a loner.....it's just the way I am.....I mix with all sorts and get along with most....I just don't let them get too close ......not saying it's a good thing but that's how it is for me.....

If close friendship is important to you.....pray that God will help you be the kind of friend you want someone to be for you....I've always thought 1 really good friend is far better than a hundred fair weather ones.......God bless

 

[Braveheart47]

You are not alone, we all go thru periods of time and change where friends move on, and change and we feel left out. There is no judgment. But I also saw you say you are thinking about what that person said and why etc. You could just talk to them. I don't know if that is what you mean not sure, just giving an observation. I agree with the first post too. Step back for awhile, look in a different direction and you may find what you are looking for. I remmeber feeling very frustrated with the church because I felt like it wasn't dong their job and I was in a place I really needed help, and I kept asking God why he wouldn't provide....and he said "stop knocking on closed doors and turn around". I did that, and someone I had only known for like 5 months stepped up helped me out in amazing ways, in ways that are very christlike even though he was not a christian. So I was looking for the answer, but I kept looking in the wrong place.

I hope you find some joy and peace...and remember, "don't worry, be happy"..

 

[louiseelis]

i loooove your reply missy2shoes and you are right one faithful freind can withstand a storm with you thanx very much

 

[louiseelis]

thankyou very much braveheart you are very sweet i dont know if you will be on to read this thanx a bunch i will defo take your advice all of you godbless

 

[imoss]

Hello Louiseelis, I've been blessed to have many friends in this lifetime. I am an extrovert who seeks approval of others as well. When I was your age I received the Lord and thus began the loss of my old friends. They arent truly lost, its just that we no longer have the same things in common, there is no spiritual connection. I still keep in touch with them, mostly with very rare exception it is me initiating contact. This used to upset me but now I just let it be. I was feeling alone without anyone to connect with on this level and the Lord sent me 3 people. We moved and my new neighbour is the most wonderful Christian lady i've ever met 10 years older than me. I met someone i dont see often but consider to be one of my best friends on here, christianchat. She lives local, originated in the same town as i did & is now located in the same town i am, we are almost twins in our faith & in our values and in our experience right down to my mom died of a brain anuerism, her dad had a brain anuerism shortly after the Lord connected us. She warned another mother of a sexual predator and went through the trials of being the warner... I had this happen 3 years ago so had the experience to council her as she went through all of these things. Its beyond coincidence... down to our love of blackforest ham & cheese on a kaiser and our crazy habit of speaking b4 we think, she is 10 years my junior & we have tons of people in common but it took CC to connect & meet her. i believe the Lord will hear your cries and send you someone! Note I had to go through 10 years of relationship trials to get over the need of aproval from others before I received these wonderful friends. Oh the third is my Aunt. Mostly our trials have purpose, they bring us closer to God. This is what was necessary for me, & still is, for me to seek Gods approval instead of that from man. Your church is a building, your relationship with the Lord is revealed in his word as you diligently seek him and listen to the gentle promptings of the Holy Spirit. this you already know. If the believers you are cleaving to are not rejoycing and studying the word and praising the Lord like you need, then you need to find new local where you can truly feel the Holy Spirit as you celebrate our Lord and learn his will. I've sat at the kitchen table with two others and felt the Lords presence more than EVER before at Church. The church is about the people & you need to find the right people. As for the old friends, I'd recomend you keep in touch with them even if you are the only one initiating but make it occasional so they dont bring you down but you are a source for them to see the love of God. In dealing with the many unbelievers in my life I'm constantly in silent prayer when they are saying or doing things unbecoming to the Lord & I pray before I go anywhere that the spirit will guide me with the exact right words for all that I encounter and for him to provide the oportunity to minister to them. doesnt always happen but its in his time not mine or yours. Anyway please dont stay discouraged... discouragement comes and goes and you can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens you. They will know you are Christian by your love (jason upton worship song) Spiritual Blessings to you. Marcia. Matthew 5:44

 

[louiseelis]

thanx very much imoss i found your reply very helpful godbless you