Basically me and my brother were removed when he was 8 and i was 4 to a foster family from our mom and dad.
A lot has happened since then.
I moved out from the good foster family 11 months ago when i was 17 to a youth apartment.
My mom is an alcoholic, and when i was younger I had a fear of her dying out of nowhere, (like my dad).
My older brother couldnt sleep at moms place, when we were allowed, because he was afraid that one of her bf would come into her house and hit her or something.
While my brother was at a mental hospital the last year, i visited my mom alone often, and sometimes (really not often, maybe 1/15 times) she was drunk. Maybe less times.
The thing is, she has a wrong mindset towards life and almost everything.
I know, even though she never showed me it, but that she is a strong woman. She had a terrible childhood too.
I live in the youth apartment now, it is in the city, so it's close to everything. But there's a lot of noisy neighbors (
I really think I'm "strong" or whatever enough to live with my mom, like, for just a year or something.
I figured, i'll be 19 in January, this might be my only chance to live with her before years pass by
The thing is, it can either be an awful experience i'll have, where we argue, or where she drinks a lot infront of me, and therefor arguments, and she'll have her boyfriend over, so not a lot of privacy.
OR it could be an awesome experience, where I helped her not only with her, but with her whole house, with cleaning and painting, and just make her home not so messy. Things like.... she never had a lamp in her bathroom in 8 years, we have to use flashlights if we have to use the toilet at the evening haha. She dont have lamps in the living room or entrance or kitchen either.
And I would try to change her, but also, not getting my hopes to high.
But like small steps, like we could read in the bible all day for ONE day every week. And make sure we do it.
(She's not a christian, she always had pictures of Jesus on her wall. But more of Bob Marley.)
But we do have many same interest like we both read, we both like the same music, she's interested in art.
I think it would be fun.. Or maybe i'm just saying that cause I never had a mother?
The question is, would it be to.. risky to live with my mom for a year or two?
Or will I regret not sezing this last oppotunity when I get older, cause "what if" I could have changed her, etc.
I dont even know if she want's me there. I asked for fun like 2 months ago, and she said "sure, I have one room you can have" but I wonder if she said that just cause i'm her son, and she feels like she needs to say yes to everything i say to make up for her past mistakes?
And if she says yes, but is too tired to take care of a teenager, she's 53, then I understand.
I just dont wanna regret not... trying.
A lot has happened since then.
I moved out from the good foster family 11 months ago when i was 17 to a youth apartment.
My mom is an alcoholic, and when i was younger I had a fear of her dying out of nowhere, (like my dad).
My older brother couldnt sleep at moms place, when we were allowed, because he was afraid that one of her bf would come into her house and hit her or something.
While my brother was at a mental hospital the last year, i visited my mom alone often, and sometimes (really not often, maybe 1/15 times) she was drunk. Maybe less times.
The thing is, she has a wrong mindset towards life and almost everything.
I know, even though she never showed me it, but that she is a strong woman. She had a terrible childhood too.
I live in the youth apartment now, it is in the city, so it's close to everything. But there's a lot of noisy neighbors (
I really think I'm "strong" or whatever enough to live with my mom, like, for just a year or something.
I figured, i'll be 19 in January, this might be my only chance to live with her before years pass by
The thing is, it can either be an awful experience i'll have, where we argue, or where she drinks a lot infront of me, and therefor arguments, and she'll have her boyfriend over, so not a lot of privacy.
OR it could be an awesome experience, where I helped her not only with her, but with her whole house, with cleaning and painting, and just make her home not so messy. Things like.... she never had a lamp in her bathroom in 8 years, we have to use flashlights if we have to use the toilet at the evening haha. She dont have lamps in the living room or entrance or kitchen either.
And I would try to change her, but also, not getting my hopes to high.
But like small steps, like we could read in the bible all day for ONE day every week. And make sure we do it.
(She's not a christian, she always had pictures of Jesus on her wall. But more of Bob Marley.)
But we do have many same interest like we both read, we both like the same music, she's interested in art.
I think it would be fun.. Or maybe i'm just saying that cause I never had a mother?
The question is, would it be to.. risky to live with my mom for a year or two?
Or will I regret not sezing this last oppotunity when I get older, cause "what if" I could have changed her, etc.
I dont even know if she want's me there. I asked for fun like 2 months ago, and she said "sure, I have one room you can have" but I wonder if she said that just cause i'm her son, and she feels like she needs to say yes to everything i say to make up for her past mistakes?
And if she says yes, but is too tired to take care of a teenager, she's 53, then I understand.
I just dont wanna regret not... trying.
