Question I really need an answer to..

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Ancilla

Guest
#61
#61
Kadosh said:
Listen 2 some sound advice from someone who has been stalked...
STEP 1: REMOVE YOUR PROFILE PICTURE FROM ALL WEBSITES YOU ARE POSTING ON! If you're not interested in a cyber relationship, why do men have to see your face. Unfortunately there are a lot of weirdo's, phsyco's, perverts and just men who can't control themselves when they see 'n pretty woman. If it happened once, it sure will happen again...so prevent this from repeating itself. IF U DON'T WANNA SHOW IT, THEN DON'T ADVERTISE
STEP 2: BLOCK HIM! All chat sites post this feature in some way or another. Don't think u can argue with this guy, his brain works one way only...and thats "southwards"...if you know what I mean. He is clearly lost, thus, slapping him with Scripture will mean zero to him. If u think it's a bit harsh to block him, then maybe u like getting his attention, and then this whole posting of dansel in distress is unneccesary
STEP 3: Change your contact details.
STEP 4: Get on with ur life

If it's really a matter of remaining pure 4 ur future husband and 4 Christ, then you should listen to God's voice...it comes down to something called OBEDIENCE.
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I don't think one should only post their picture if they're looking for a relationship. I think it's just nice to put a face to a name. I don't think you should accuse her of "advertising" just because she had her picture up. THIS WAS NOT HER FAULT.

I don't think she needs to do anything dramatic here. She's figured out how to block him. That's it.
 
pickles

pickles

Senior Member
#62
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
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63
#62
Hi shakespear, I understand your frustration and fear. When I first started dating I worried , would they like me, would they think Im to outspoken... .
Well you know what Im talking about. I agree, there are some things that all men should know and respect and should not ask. But on most things it is important that we should speak out and be honest and strong for ourselfs. When you compremise yourself it only leads to feeling undervalued. Im not speaking of the compramises that need to be made in a commited relationship. I am talking about when some one asks you to give up part of who you are, or expect you to be less than you are in order to be loved. If you do this, you will always carry sadness in your relationship. It is so easy to see this now as I am much older and learned from mistakes. Hopefully some of the expeariances I had will help you aviod alot of the hurt I and Im sure many women go through. Always expect the man that cares for you to treat you as God Our Father would want you to be treated. Part of avoiding the pitfalls of sin in a relationship is the man taking responcabuility in honoring what God asks of you. Because my dad abandoned my family I felt I had to earn a mans attention at first. It is a painfull lesson learned. God became my father and helped me see my value.
You are taking the right steps in seeking this. Love yourself as well as Our Lord God loves you.
Hugs and God bless, pickles
 
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Ancilla

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#63
#63
shakespeare_lover221 said:
Well, actually... Most of the time when women say "no", we're really meaning "yes", "no", "maybe", "i don't know" BECAUSE we are so afraid to be blunt. And we're so afraid to be blunt because we want men to like us.. and we're considered bitches when we speak are mind and say "NO" and actually mean it.
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Yup, I think we're kind of taught by society that being blunt is not what nice girls do. Men need to know that it's ok for us to set and enforce boundaries, even when it's not what he wants.
 
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greatkraw

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#64
#64
It is a terrible shame that girls need to fear.

I have been misled or lied to by girls on the basis that they wanted to 'spare my feelings'. That was a greater insult than just telling me 'not interested'

One girl, rather than say 'not interested' actually shaved her head in order to discourage me. Now THAT is an insult.
 
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shakespeare_lover221

Guest
#65
#65
pickles said:
Hi shakespear, I understand your frustration and fear. When I first started dating I worried , would they like me, would they think Im to outspoken... .
Well you know what Im talking about. I agree, there are some things that all men should know and respect and should not ask. But on most things it is important that we should speak out and be honest and strong for ourselfs. When you compremise yourself it only leads to feeling undervalued. Im not speaking of the compramises that need to be made in a commited relationship. I am talking about when some one asks you to give up part of who you are, or expect you to be less than you are in order to be loved. If you do this, you will always carry sadness in your relationship. It is so easy to see this now as I am much older and learned from mistakes. Hopefully some of the expeariances I had will help you aviod alot of the hurt I and Im sure many women go through. Always expect the man that cares for you to treat you as God Our Father would want you to be treated. Part of avoiding the pitfalls of sin in a relationship is the man taking responcabuility in honoring what God asks of you. Because my dad abandoned my family I felt I had to earn a mans attention at first. It is a painfull lesson learned. God became my father and helped me see my value.
You are taking the right steps in seeking this. Love yourself as well as Our Lord God loves you.
Hugs and God bless, pickles
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I've learned from my own mistakes.. (i've stopped looking for men to be in one-on-one relationships with.. and decided to stick with friendship relationships and let things led to where they may lead.. if we're to become more than friends, well, it will happen. If not, then we'll remain great friends.) And I do agree.. it is a painfull lesson learned.

Ancilla said:
Yup, I think we're kind of taught by society that being blunt is not what nice girls do. Men need to know that it's ok for us to set and enforce boundaries, even when it's not what he wants.
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Well, i have a reputation with everyone for being blunt. I've heard many times "The truth hurts, you know?" and I'm just like, well, if it hurts, don't ask.

greatkraw said:
It is a terrible shame that girls need to fear.

I have been misled or lied to by girls on the basis that they wanted to 'spare my feelings'. That was a greater insult than just telling me 'not interested'

One girl, rather than say 'not interested' actually shaved her head in order to discourage me. Now THAT is an insult.
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wow... I'm sorry. I don't think any guy should be treated like that.. that's just hurtfull..
 
A

Ancilla

Guest
#66
#66
greatkraw said:
It is a terrible shame that girls need to fear.

I have been misled or lied to by girls on the basis that they wanted to 'spare my feelings'. That was a greater insult than just telling me 'not interested'

One girl, rather than say 'not interested' actually shaved her head in order to discourage me. Now THAT is an insult.
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Well, letting a guy that you're not interested in the most tactful and not ackward way possible. I just try to read their signals. Once I've met them if they don't call me back or e-mail me back within a couple of days I assume he's not interested. Of course, that's not always true, it took my ex-boyfriend several days to work up the courage to call me after our first date. He's just really shy. So, yeah, I'm not good at social skills but I am good at picking up on whether or not someone's interested. The first time I saw my brother-in-law talk to my sister he couldn't have made it more obvious he was interested if he had it tatooed on his forehead.

Incidentally, how you let someone know if you're interested or not would be a great topic for the singles forum.
 
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Ancilla

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#67
#67
shakespeare_lover221 said:
Well, i have a reputation with everyone for being blunt. I've heard many times "The truth hurts, you know?" and I'm just like, well, if it hurts, don't ask.
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Well in that case you shouldn't have any sympathy for guys who aren't listening to you. Have you seen The Hunchback of Notra Dame? Jason Alexander's character is like "I thought I was the cute one" Lavern says "No you're the fat stupid one with the big mouth" and he says "What are you saying exactly?" Classic.
 
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shakespeare_lover221

Guest
#68
#68
Ancilla said:
Well in that case you shouldn't have any sympathy for guys who aren't listening to you. Have you seen The Hunchback of Notra Dame? Jason Alexander's character is like "I thought I was the cute one" Lavern says "No you're the fat stupid one with the big mouth" and he says "What are you saying exactly?" Classic.
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I don't have sympathy for guys that don't listen. I just feel I need to get my point across.. but sometimes I'm just like... wtftm? I gave up on most men a long time ago... lol They're really not worth the time.. and the only reason why I felt I needed to get my point across with this guy was because he didn't believe me, (and some other things he did, which i would prefer not to go into detail's about because i would prefer not to think about them...)

And I have seen THe Hunchback of Notra Dame.. but i don't remember that part.. but that's pretty epic.
 
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