Then what?

[FireWire]

Precisely what I've been saying to another person in another thread and they're just not getting it.

I read from somebody today on twitter that God will never stop loving because He never started. It is endless and beginningless which is the same as God himself.

 

[Jullianna]

this is an honest question, so feel free to shoot me down.

but do we find love...or do we build it according to God's Word?

i mean, i get the whole physical attraction becomes "i like his/her personality", but is that love?

i'm honestly asking.

Perhaps a better choice of words would have been to "find ourselves in love", as I did not mean in any way to go looking for it. I can't speak for anyone else, but looking for it has never worked for me. Love is not something I can force. It is there or it is not.

Part of it is an initial attraction, but a very small part to be honest. I can't completely toss physical attraction aside, because the look I see in a man's eyes, the confident way he carries himself, the strength I feel in his arms, and the sincerity of his smile are things that touch my heart and affect me. So...maybe that's the best way for me to describe what love is for me. Whatever you call it, however it gets there, it is a force that deeply touches my heart and becomes a driving force in my life that must be fed and tended to, just as my relationship with God must be.

Again, I can only speak for myself.

My question in this thread is once we realize that someone very special has entered our life and touched our heart, how do we react to that? How do we treat it? What do we do about it? How do we feed it, nurture it and protect it?

I am hoping to read more than "pray about it". As Christians, I would think that praying about relationships would be a given. I know what I think about this, but I'm curious as to how others feel about it. If we haven't given consideration to these things, are we really ready for love?

 

[Liamson]

To me this is the whole thing with Online Relationships in general. To become an ever-present and growing part of someone else's life is next to impossible if you don't see them.

I was going to make a Thread about Pair Bonding before work yesterday and only today have I realized that this is pretty much the same thing.

I know that I REALLY struggle with trying to START a Relationship with someone over distance. Not that I'm seeing anyone else but, we simply occupy two different worlds.


In a "Normal" Relationship people grow together, and mold each other. Being around them, we unwittingly tag our behaviors after them. We adopt the same Mannerisms and speech patterns. This is a normal part of Pair Bonding. We EXPERIENCE living life with them and how both people process that experience, determines the course of the relationship. We touch them and its not even sexual but just touching someone enough, makes them a part of our lives.


It isn't simply about being a good fit and working out the differences, it is about letting Love soften our Character so that we can conform to the wants needs and lifestyle of the other person. Its giving each other the brush and allowing the other person to paint our entire world. That is how we take the melodies that they sing, to mean something personally to us, without them being directed at us. It is being open to understanding how they see the beauty in the world and empathically experiencing their happiness as if it were our own.


I know for a fact that its far easier when we are younger than when we are older and more stuck in our ways. But I think relationships grow and mature not when two people look back at all the stuff they've been through but, look inside themselves and see all the good and all the Joy that has the other person's fingerprints all over it. We change each other a lot and its only when we allow love to make us open to change that we are able to grow together.


Slowly but surely no other possibility remains other than to keep forever that person which has colored and shaped so much of us. Our very taste in music, how we seek to be understood, the colors we choose, these all came from being deeply inspired. In the same way, another person becomes our favorite by inspiring us.





There is no Objectively "Best" person out there. Each new Relationship and person we encounter in life holds the possibility of forever weaving into our Tapestry and changing everything but, we have to realize that it isn't something we can duplicate with someone else. But anything is possible if we are open to that possibility. =)

 

[Jullianna]

I agree that online relationships make this very, very difficult. Having different lifestyles, obligations and work schedules make it harder still. It is hard enough to juggle all of these things even when you live close to one another. There are times when you need them/they need you and you can't be there for one another. You can't pick up on little nuances that lead to fewer misunderstandings and/or expectations. You can't feed the relationship the way you know you should, so even though you see so much promise in one another and care very deeply for one another it is difficult to make it work.

If you can't be together before one or the other becomes incredibly frustrated, the relationship dies and oftentimes both of you are left with a whole lot of "what ifs". Maybe it is for the best, but I am not sure that it always the case. Maybe it means that person doesn't have what it takes to go the distance, but maybe they have never known a relationship like that and don't realize what they are throwing away.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

love schmuv

 

[AzureAfire]

To me this is the whole thing with Online Relationships in general. To become an ever-present and growing part of someone else's life is next to impossible if you don't see them.

I was going to make a Thread about Pair Bonding before work yesterday and only today have I realized that this is pretty much the same thing.

I know that I REALLY struggle with trying to START a Relationship with someone over distance. Not that I'm seeing anyone else but, we simply occupy two different worlds.


In a "Normal" Relationship people grow together, and mold each other. Being around them, we unwittingly tag our behaviors after them. We adopt the same Mannerisms and speech patterns. This is a normal part of Pair Bonding. We EXPERIENCE living life with them and how both people process that experience, determines the course of the relationship. We touch them and its not even sexual but just touching someone enough, makes them a part of our lives.


It isn't simply about being a good fit and working out the differences, it is about letting Love soften our Character so that we can conform to the wants needs and lifestyle of the other person. Its giving each other the brush and allowing the other person to paint our entire world. That is how we take the melodies that they sing, to mean something personally to us, without them being directed at us. It is being open to understanding how they see the beauty in the world and empathically experiencing their happiness as if it were our own.


I know for a fact that its far easier when we are younger than when we are older and more stuck in our ways. But I think relationships grow and mature not when two people look back at all the stuff they've been through but, look inside themselves and see all the good and all the Joy that has the other person's fingerprints all over it. We change each other a lot and its only when we allow love to make us open to change that we are able to grow together.


Slowly but surely no other possibility remains other than to keep forever that person which has colored and shaped so much of us. Our very taste in music, how we seek to be understood, the colors we choose, these all came from being deeply inspired. In the same way, another person becomes our favorite by inspiring us.





There is no Objectively "Best" person out there. Each new Relationship and person we encounter in life holds the possibility of forever weaving into our Tapestry and changing everything but, we have to realize that it isn't something we can duplicate with someone else. But anything is possible if we are open to that possibility. =)

Brother in Christ, your purity and your openness of mind and heart is simply admirable you are quite a rare one. May GOD continue to bless your heart with grace, peace, joy, and love!!