What does the Bible say about a woman marrying a man who already has a child?

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LydiaLove

Guest
#1
Please have a scripture to back up anything you post. I am curious about what the Bible has to say and some of y'all's personal opinions about this situation.

I'm not sure what to think yet but I have a friend, She is 20, a devoted christian, saving herself for marriage, never even been kissed or had a boyfriend she has been so strict on herself. She has met this guy that she is constantly talking about. He is in his late 20's, is a strong christian but he has a child with another woman (they were never married). When this woman had the baby she got postpartum depression and started becoming abusive (I have verified this information through friends) He tried to make it work for the baby but decided it was better for the baby to see him on and off then have turmoil constantly in the house. Other then the child and last woman he seems to be a good guy (from what I can tell at least).

I wish my friend could meet a guy who has saved himself like she has but she really likes this guy! I just want to know what I should say to help her make the decision Jesus would have her make.
 
May 21, 2009
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#2
I have never heard any stories in the bible where a woman should hate a man with a child. Why are you in her business so much?
 
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Meridoc

Guest
#3
The bible doesn't have anything about a woman marrying or not marrying a man with a child. I believe that abuse is a viable reason for divorce as it is a violation of the vows of marriage just as much as cheating is. The only question is how much of a chance did he give his ex to change as we are meant to fight for the marriage. I guess there is two questions, is he actually divorced, if he is not she should step back and let him deal with his issues and allow him to move on before moving in. Other than that I would say if they are happy and have taken the time to really discuss things and get to know each other then go for it.
 
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AnandaHya

Guest
#4
wait. the mom is abusive. Is she abusive to the child or just her ex-boyfriend?

He left the child with the mom who has post part-depression and did not seek custody of the child?

There is nothing in the Bible, but if my little sister told me the story those are the questions I would ask her.

He had a child out of wedlock (did he even ask her to marry him?) and then when she got depressed after having his kid, instead of getting her medical help and therapy, or christian counseling he decided it was best for the "child" he leave the "child" with a depressed mom?

When depressed mom's have been known to commit suicide and take their child with them? Or abuse drugs and neglect care of the child?

I don't know the situation and he might be a wonderful guy but like I said if it was my little sister those are the questions I would asked the guy. He might have very good responses to them.

First and foremost I would pray and ask for God's guidance about the situation.

Does the baby's mother still have feelings and want to work it out with the man? If so I would advise stepping back and let them try and work it out.

Either way she will have to make peace with the lady because she and the child will be in their lives for a long time.

There is hope though. My brother in law wanted to marry he's baby's mother but she admandantly refused, she didn't want to travel or be married to a military man. He has since married a wonderful Christian woman and lol she and the baby's mother get along better then he ever did. The child actually brought two women together that probably never talk to each other into contact where they are all working for the child's happiness and well being. The little boy is a sweetheart and my son's favorite cousin (don't tell the others though most of them already know, lol) they have shared custody but he stays with his mom during school days.
 
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LydiaLove

Guest
#5
Thank you AmandaHya, I will ask her some of your questions. I'm just concerned for her. I want to her to be happy. She deserves the very best. :)
 
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mick48

Guest
#6
I know absolutely nothing about this man other than what "Lydia" has told us. However, I do have an opinion on forgiveness and the ability of any person to begin a new life in Christ. Jesus allows a man/woman to be "born again" through the power of His shed blood. With that said, this man obviously had a child out of wedlock while living in the "world". You say that he is now a strong "Christian" man. If so, follow the teachings of our Savior through prayer, forgiveness, and mercy. All of us have sinned and fallen short of God's standards of holiness. Can any of us make a judgment about what this man has become? Judge him by what he is through Christ and forgive him for past mistakes. If he is a new man, my advice is to let this new creature in Christ live his life forward. He can't change the past, but he can create a future.
 
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Izdaari

Guest
#7
As far as I remember (and I have read it all the way through), I don't think it says anything at all about that specific situation.
 
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Izdaari

Guest
#8
On second thought, although I don't remember a specific Scripture, it probably happened often, since widowers with children often, maybe usually, remarried.