When Should/Shouldn't Grace/Mercy be given to a "supposed" friend?

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M

ManiaStar

Senior Member
#1
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#1
What are the exceptions to the rule? What do you think?

I really don't want to give any info. But something happened to me over the weekend w/ a friend whom I thought I could trust and I had Just had a talk w/ him the day before and talking to him about trusting, and then he did something to me the following day which made me question and doubt and made me angry and upset and nervous all at the same time. Still feeling all those emotions and I don't know how to cope w/ any of this right now.

He messaged me this morning asking me to please call him as he'd like to speak to me. As soon as I received his text, I started to shake, literally shake and it took me a good hour to relax.

But, I just cannot get this off my mind.

I don't know what to do.

Staying busy has helped a lot but, in the quietness, the thoughts/feelings come and like right now, I am trembling inside and i don't want to stay home. I want to go out but i don't know.
 
R

Rosesrock

Guest
#2
#2
Hey :) if you have to have a discussion with someone about trust then there's your first sign. I'm.sorry you feel like something happened that now has made you react in an anxious way. Not healthy.
Not knowing the situation in not sure what to say. But I will say that this doesn't sound like someone you need to be friends with or confide in.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#3
#3
ManiaStar said:
What are the exceptions to the rule? What do you think?

I really don't want to give any info. But something happened to me over the weekend w/ a friend whom I thought I could trust and I had Just had a talk w/ him the day before and talking to him about trusting, and then he did something to me the following day which made me question and doubt and made me angry and upset and nervous all at the same time. Still feeling all those emotions and I don't know how to cope w/ any of this right now.

He messaged me this morning asking me to please call him as he'd like to speak to me. As soon as I received his text, I started to shake, literally shake and it took me a good hour to relax.

But, I just cannot get this off my mind.

I don't know what to do.

Staying busy has helped a lot but, in the quietness, the thoughts/feelings come and like right now, I am trembling inside and i don't want to stay home. I want to go out but i don't know.
Click to expand...
Notice something out of all God ever said about forgiving someone. He NEVER said to go back to trusting them!

I saw your post on the Prayer Forum. I honestly don't know what happened to answer if you should or shouldn't go to the police. I do know this though --
NEVER, EVER TRUST THIS PERSON AGAIN! HE IS NO FRIEND!!!

Do NOT speak to him, because he's going to give you a song-and-dance before trying again, and this time more forcefully. This guy is dangerous, and he's no friend.

You may need to show mercy and forgive one day, but never confuse that with trusting him or letting him anywhere ear your life.

If he scares you this much and you're stuck living your life this close to him, take it to the cops. Even if you don't press charges, he gets the message to stay clear! And, got to say, if he did what I'm thinking he did, that message is never received. He already thinks he deserved what he got and what he got was good to him, so he's coming back for more, even if he dresses it up in false sorrow.

I did not press charges against the guys who raped me. I never told the cops for a variety of reasons. I also do not regret that decision. BUT I had on big advantage over you, I also didn't know them -- as acquaintances or friends -- so I didn't have to be terrified of them living that close to me that I might see them often... or even ever. So, I really do get why reporting it to the cops isn't always the answer but I can't see why you won't. Your life or his life. Your life wins, hands down. You're worth it, and don't deserve this much fear until one or the other of you leaves the area.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#4
#4
And, whether you heed my advice or not, you need crisis counseling now, or you just feel worse and worse and lose more and more of your life.
 
M

ManiaStar

Senior Member
#5
Nov 14, 2015
381
29
28
#5
I actually did go to the cops but, I don't think they did anything. The cop I spoke w/ to write the police report spent nearly an hour w/ me and I think he could tell I was shaking. I gave him ALL the info on what had happened. He told me that after i left they'd give him a call to come down to the station and if he didn't answer, they'd try the following day or go to his house. He told me they'd tell him to not talk or have any contact w/ me at all unless I contacted him first. He has sent me a few messages but I haven't answered.

I actually just thought/remembered of something that happened the night prior. I don't know how I could've forgotten about that but I had drawn a blank til just now. It wasn't anything bad the prior night but...... hmm I think it should've given me a heads up.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#6
#6
Forgiving someone doesnt,mean you,stick around to get beat up or,raped.
 
A

Ariel82

Guest
#7
#7
Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.....if you are in the USA
 
Willie-T

Willie-T

Banned
#8
Feb 7, 2015
22,418
413
0
#8
ManiaStar said:
What are the exceptions to the rule? What do you think?

I really don't want to give any info. But something happened to me over the weekend w/ a friend whom I thought I could trust and I had Just had a talk w/ him the day before and talking to him about trusting, and then he did something to me the following day which made me question and doubt and made me angry and upset and nervous all at the same time. Still feeling all those emotions and I don't know how to cope w/ any of this right now.

He messaged me this morning asking me to please call him as he'd like to speak to me. As soon as I received his text, I started to shake, literally shake and it took me a good hour to relax.

But, I just cannot get this off my mind.

I don't know what to do.

Staying busy has helped a lot but, in the quietness, the thoughts/feelings come and like right now, I am trembling inside and i don't want to stay home. I want to go out but i don't know.
Click to expand...
You definitely should NOT give any more "grace" to anyone than the amount you would hope God would give to you.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#9
#9
Ariel82 said:
Forgiving someone doesnt,mean you,stick around to get beat up or,raped.
Click to expand...
This. Forgiveness doesn't mean to ditch common sense.
 
GilaSemut

GilaSemut

Member
#10
Jun 1, 2016
89
3
0
#10
Friends should lift you up and inspire you. You have your path and you can choose who can walk with you. If someone is just draining out all of your positive energy and violating your trust, do not let them drag you down. I want everyone to be happy and content, I trust that you will make the right decision. Be, know, do!
 
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