Marriage

[Billyd]

A few weeks ago a young couple came forward to join in the ministry of our church. They had been attending our services for about a year and were living as husband and wife for about six years. Before they were to be baptized, they asked the pastor to marry them. After a few moments hesitation, the pastor held a marriage ceremony, and then proceeded with the baptism.

We know that the scriptures say that a man and woman are told to leave home and be join together as one. My question is "What must a couple do to be married in the eyes of God?

 

[Marcelo]

"What must a couple do to be married in the eyes of God?

In the case you described above I think the young couple is married in the eyes of God. They had been in sin, but eventually they did the right thing: got married first, then got baptized.

 

[tourist]

Promise to be faithful, loving and supportive to each other for the rest of their lives with the grace of God. I'm glad that the pastor agreed to formalize their marriage recognizing the promise and commitment that was made years ago.

 

[Blain]

Before I answer your question I would to answer it with another question- what is marriage? These days you can go to a bar and get married to a stripper that very night don't ask me how I know that trust me you don't wanna know just know it wasn't me that married. marriage is something that has lost it's value in peoples hearts many people go into marriage and they say their vows and the act as if they truly mean it but most marriages break these days when things are hard or people show their true colors when they become married and it turns out you didn't marry the person you thought you did all because you were hasty and acted on that lovey dovey feeling.

The statistics show that over 60% of all marriages end in divorce this is because people go into marriage not knowing what love really is they expect things go smoothly and never think about when times are hard never even imagining that their relationship might come close to breaking.I have never been married but I have seen countless marriages fall apart I have heard people say their vows but I always wondered if they really meant it.

Marriage is not something to be taken lightly and is sacred especially in God's eyes, marriage is the bonding of two separate beings and souls two hearts becoming one and the same in heart mind and spirit a covenant of the heart a contract of the deepest love and adoration in which even when things become severely hard these two hearts have vowed that their love may bend but will never break exactly like the marriage of the lamb and us.

So what is marriage is God's eyes? well lets look to the author of marriage himself. Even though from the beginning when he said in his heart that he would love us forever we have constantly over and over again sinned and screwed up far worse than we will ever know through out time and history we have made the same mistakes over and over and over again yet he still loved us even so much that he allowed his own son to go through hell on earth just for us.

Even when we were not faithful he always was he kept every word he gave he proved every promise and no matter how much we bent his love it remained stronger than steel he continued to desire a deep and intimate love and relationship with his children even when we were that far gone and that lost in our sins he continued to encourage us to build us up to be there for us when we were in tears always proving his vows to us.

if this is not what marriage is then I have no clue what it is then

 

[resurrection33]

A few weeks ago a young couple came forward to join in the ministry of our church. They had been attending our services for about a year and were living as husband and wife for about six years. Before they were to be baptized, they asked the pastor to marry them. After a few moments hesitation, the pastor held a marriage ceremony, and then proceeded with the baptism.

We know that the scriptures say that a man and woman are told to leave home and be join together as one. My question is "What must a couple do to be married in the eyes of God?

Well, you aren’t allowed to divorce one person and marry another, except on grounds of unchastity (Matt 19:9).

Same-sex marriage isn’t allowed (Lev 18:22).

 

[mcubed]

Get married. Become one before marriage is called fornication no matter how you dress it up.

 

[john832]

Get married. Become one before marriage is called fornication no matter how you dress it up.

I agree totally, you can call it a space shuttle if you like, but premarital sex is fornication and sin.

 

[presidente]

If I were in his shoes, unless she were a widow, if her father were alive, I might ask his approval first.

 

[presidente]

The Bible speaks of fathers giving in marriage, but it never says that preachers, elders, or even Levitical priests have authority to declare people married.

 

[Depleted]

A few weeks ago a young couple came forward to join in the ministry of our church. They had been attending our services for about a year and were living as husband and wife for about six years. Before they were to be baptized, they asked the pastor to marry them. After a few moments hesitation, the pastor held a marriage ceremony, and then proceeded with the baptism.

We know that the scriptures say that a man and woman are told to leave home and be join together as one. My question is "What must a couple do to be married in the eyes of God?

Dedicate their lives together to God and to each other? Maybe I'm not getting the question, but I don't think there is any formal thing to do for the "in the eyes of God" part. The formal stuff comes from state regulations and church tradition.

Are you asking if I'd be hesitant to marry two people shacking up first? Yes!!! I'd be more hesitant on the baptism part before I got there though. And I do believe in counseling before marriage. Should those two get married? I've got no idea. If I were the pastor I would have. That's what the counseling does -- smooth out if, and how, before going for it.

But I come at this from a different way. We were our pastor's first marriage. He was very hesitant. He knew hubby's first wife. That put the screech right there. Should a person who was married before get married again? He was honest with hubby and told him he wasn't going to marry us until hubby showed why it was a good idea. And hubby had already done that, biblically, before the pastor said it. If hubby hadn't done everything he could in the first marriage, and he didn't listen to God through the word, we wouldn't be married for another reason. I wouldn't have married him.

So, I'm thinking a couple comes up to me who has been shacking up for several years, wants to get baptised, and, oh by the way, get married NOW? Ummm, no. I'd want to see who they are to see if they should.

Many times couples get married as a last ditch effort to stay together after shacking up for years. And often the marriage is over within a year.

 

[NewWine]

Honestly, I believe that God blesses a marriage singularly, without man's help. However, with this in mind, the Bible says to follow the laws of the land, and in my state/country a person isn't legally married until they file that piece of paper called a marriage license, after it's properly notarized. So for people living here (at least)....I say file the license.

 

[tjogs]

Honestly, I believe that God blesses a marriage singularly, without man's help. However, with this in mind, the Bible says to follow the laws of the land, and in my state/country a person isn't legally married until they file that piece of paper called a marriage license, after it's properly notarized. So for people living here (at least)....I say file the license.

You just said what I had in mind.
There are two "marriages" we are having in this world. The "spiritual" real marriage and legal "world" marriage. In perfect picture those two should walk hand in hand. you get one, you get the other too same time.

Sadly as said somewhere before it's not always like that. The "legal" marriage is just juridical act and piece of paper. nothing more, nothing less.

As i see it is that when couple promises to each other in front of God, and they really in their hearts mean it and after that follows their promise they are spiritually married. STILL as it said that we should follow our laws. God have very good understanding and respect about laws and he puts importance to that. so doesn't this lead that God asks us also to follow our local law related to marriage. I know this saying can lead several questions related to contradictions between the laws but the point is what also Jesus said. Give to God what is Gods' and to emperor what is emperors

 

[trofimus]

The marriage starts when you do what your society requires for a marriage to start.

In our european culture it means to get a public ceremony with somebody who has the authority in the society. Its the representant of the state or of the church.

No private promises nor sex are the beginning of a marriage.

If you live on some isolated island or in a jungle, the rule can be different.

 

[presidente]

Where does the Bible say that making a commitment before God makes two people married? Consider the story of Shechem and Dinah. Shechem didn't just say they'd made a commitment before his god or her God and they were married. The Shechemites did not just have a ceremony and declare Dinah married. No, even though the two had had sex, they went to her father and wanted to make arrangements so that he would give her to Shechem in marriage.

In the Old Testament law, if a man seduced a virgin, on his part, he had to marry her, and he had to pay the bride price. But her father could take the bride price and legally refuse to give her to him in marriage.Jesus spoke of marrying and giving in marriage as something that would still occur in His future. Paul wrote that he who gives her in marriage does well, but he that gives her not in marriage does better.

Fathers give daughters in marriage. But the widow may marry whomsoever she wills, but only in the Lord.

 

[Billyd]

Lots of great responses.

What must a couple do to be married in the eyes of God?

 

[MacBestus]

Hmmm. I feel I should go fishing with the can of worms I am about to open....

As a minister I no longer will conduct a marriage service for couples who have filed for Notice of Marriage. (Marriage license).

There are many reasons that I and many other ministers have been taking this route in larger and larger numbers every year.

Some use the render under Caesar argument to say I am wrong. But that does not take into account the implied flip side of this Statement which is render unto the Father that which is His. Marriage falls into this category. Taxes are not regulated by the law of YHWH either in Torah or the New Testament. They are
Mans law regulated mans governments.

Marriage however is something Our Father regulated for himself. It is actually one of the more regulated bits. Who you can marry. Who you should marry. Who you can't marry. Who you have to marry. Divorce. Widow. Polygamy. Remarriage. And more are all addressed in the old and new Testaments. So obviously this is something we should render unto him. Both the first commandment and the book of Daniels civil disobedience for human laws that impinged on those of the Father speak to this. I will no longer replace the third party of every marriage (YHWH) with the state. Dominion over marriage is His not the States

YHWH did give the government jurisdiction over adultery and divorce. But even giving that to secular government is rejected by many ministers as that power was originally given to a Theocratic government bound by His instruction. These groups tend to relate it to church bodies. Many more churches have joined this movement with the same sex marriages of today sharing the same Union understanding. They simply are not partaking of this government institution.

So what was the procedure for marriage. Relatives talked. Made deals. Had a party. Husband and wife made a vow. Witnessed by public. Consummated the vow. Voila married! Living together was the norm but not required.

People who live together today and intend to forever are biblically married. They do not need a piece of government paper for Heavens sake. Only for mans. And that is a usurpation.

Some churches actually make new members divorce in the State before joining.

This movement spans all denominations. And is growing.

 

[tourist]

Hmmm. I feel I should go fishing with the can of worms I am about to open....

As a minister I no longer will conduct a marriage service for couples who have filed for Notice of Marriage. (Marriage license).

There are many reasons that I and many other ministers have been taking this route in larger and larger numbers every year.

Some use the render under Caesar argument to say I am wrong. But that does not take into account the implied flip side of this Statement which is render unto the Father that which is His. Marriage falls into this category. Taxes are not regulated by the law of YHWH either in Torah or the New Testament. They are
Mans law regulated mans governments.

Marriage however is something Our Father regulated for himself. It is actually one of the more regulated bits. Who you can marry. Who you should marry. Who you can't marry. Who you have to marry. Divorce. Widow. Polygamy. Remarriage. And more are all addressed in the old and new Testaments. So obviously this is something we should render unto him. Both the first commandment and the book of Daniels civil disobedience for human laws that impinged on those of the Father speak to this. I will no longer replace the third party of every marriage (YHWH) with the state. Dominion over marriage is His not the States

YHWH did give the government jurisdiction over adultery and divorce. But even giving that to secular government is rejected by many ministers as that power was originally given to a Theocratic government bound by His instruction. These groups tend to relate it to church bodies. Many more churches have joined this movement with the same sex marriages of today sharing the same Union understanding. They simply are not partaking of this government institution.

So what was the procedure for marriage. Relatives talked. Made deals. Had a party. Husband and wife made a vow. Witnessed by public. Consummated the vow. Voila married! Living together was the norm but not required.

People who live together today and intend to forever are biblically married. They do not need a piece of government paper for Heavens sake. Only for mans. And that is a usurpation.

Some churches actually make new members divorce in the State before joining.

This movement spans all denominations. And is growing.

Never heard of this movement. It seems truly bizarre. Actually, while it appears that while the couples in question may indeed be joined together in the eyes of God they still need to formalize the arrangement of marriage or otherwise they may run into tremendous problems down the road. What church or denomination are you affiliated with? There may have been regulations in the OT regarding Israel but that was to ensure continuation of all of the tribes. It is best to pray and allow God to chose your spouse but that is for the benefit of those contemplating marriage. It is best to be equally yoked but again, that is not a requirement. Your church is headed down the wrong spiritual path.

 

[NewWine]

This is completely new concept to me (not exactly new, but the first time I have heard it from a pastoral point of view). So I am curious, if this is the path to marriage, then when divorce happens (as is written in the Bible), and it DOES happen, how does that work? Does the couple just separate and go their own way? Or is there more to it?

Hmmm. I feel I should go fishing with the can of worms I am about to open....

As a minister I no longer will conduct a marriage service for couples who have filed for Notice of Marriage. (Marriage license).

There are many reasons that I and many other ministers have been taking this route in larger and larger numbers every year.

Some use the render under Caesar argument to say I am wrong. But that does not take into account the implied flip side of this Statement which is render unto the Father that which is His. Marriage falls into this category. Taxes are not regulated by the law of YHWH either in Torah or the New Testament. They are
Mans law regulated mans governments.

Marriage however is something Our Father regulated for himself. It is actually one of the more regulated bits. Who you can marry. Who you should marry. Who you can't marry. Who you have to marry. Divorce. Widow. Polygamy. Remarriage. And more are all addressed in the old and new Testaments. So obviously this is something we should render unto him. Both the first commandment and the book of Daniels civil disobedience for human laws that impinged on those of the Father speak to this. I will no longer replace the third party of every marriage (YHWH) with the state. Dominion over marriage is His not the States

YHWH did give the government jurisdiction over adultery and divorce. But even giving that to secular government is rejected by many ministers as that power was originally given to a Theocratic government bound by His instruction. These groups tend to relate it to church bodies. Many more churches have joined this movement with the same sex marriages of today sharing the same Union understanding. They simply are not partaking of this government institution.

So what was the procedure for marriage. Relatives talked. Made deals. Had a party. Husband and wife made a vow. Witnessed by public. Consummated the vow. Voila married! Living together was the norm but not required.

People who live together today and intend to forever are biblically married. They do not need a piece of government paper for Heavens sake. Only for mans. And that is a usurpation.

Some churches actually make new members divorce in the State before joining.

This movement spans all denominations. And is growing.

 

[MacBestus]

Never heard of this movement. It seems truly bizarre. Actually, while it appears that while the couples in question may indeed be joined together in the eyes of God they still need to formalize the arrangement of marriage or otherwise they may run into tremendous problems down the road. What church or denomination are you affiliated with? There may have been regulations in the OT regarding Israel but that was to ensure continuation of all of the tribes. It is best to pray and allow God to chose your spouse but that is for the benefit of those contemplating marriage. It is best to be equally yoked but again, that is not a requirement. Your church is headed down the wrong spiritual path.

As i said this is pan denominational. I have pastored lutheran and baptist assemblies over the past 40 years. And I am now Natsarim (HRM). This first came to my attention when I was a Baptist pastor.

If by 'formalizing the relationship' you mean putting the marriage into the governments hands.... You are then usurping His authority. And scripture holds this up. If you study the book you will find no place we are instructed to give the government control over YHWHs institutions and several places we are commanded not to.

I believe this a very spiritual path.

 

[MacBestus]

As an aside not one of the couples. I have officiated marriage in without a notice of marriage over the last 25 years has separated.