Marriage

[Billyd]

Again thanks for the discussion.

IMHO, if a couple, with the blessing of their parents, vow to each other, and to God, to join together as one in Christ, legal ceremony or no ceremony, are married in the eyes of God.

From asset protection purposes, and in most states, tax benefits, and Social Security purposes, the couple should file a license IAW state law in the state that they reside at the time of their vows. IMHO, unless the couple has made a vow to each other and to God, they are only (for lack of a better term) shacking up.

 

[Billyd]

I dont think sex is the beginning of a marriage.

On the other hand, it should lead to marriage if it happened.

I'm not sure about your last statement. There are the usual exceptions, rape, incest, etc. Also, there is the heat of the moment sex. In the case of heat of the moment sex, the couple should repent and ask God for forgiveness and follow God from there. I am not qualified to handle the usual exceptions.

 

[trofimus]

I'm not sure about your last statement. There are the usual exceptions, rape, incest, etc. Also, there is the heat of the moment sex. In the case of heat of the moment sex, the couple should repent and ask God for forgiveness and follow God from there. I am not qualified to handle the usual exceptions.

The Bible says that the sex is "becoming one body".

It simply follows those two who did it should marry each other and not to look for somebody else with nicer eyes or hair.

I think its what the Old Testament says, too.

Even the rape in the OT was followed by marriage. And because it was followed by marriage, it is quite clear that the sex is not the marriage per se. But is a serious reason for it.

 

[presidente]

Again thanks for the discussion.

IMHO, if a couple, with the blessing of their parents, vow to each other, and to God, to join together as one in Christ, legal ceremony or no ceremony, are married in the eyes of God.

Why would they have to vow to each other.

I read that the Roman ceremony involved saying certain words in front of a pagan priest (maybe priestess). In their case the bride would say, "Where you are Gaius, I am Gaia" or something along those lines. So some Romans convert to Christianity, change out the pagan priest for a Christian elder, and change the words from the previous words to some kind of vow. Where does the Bible teach that a vow makes the marriage?

The Bible speaks of covenant, but the groom in the Old Testament would pay a bride price. How does that mean he had to make a vow to his bride to be married?

My point is we should not assume our cultural rituals are universal requirements.

When Boaz got married, he was marrying a widow, so he dealt with the one before him in line as kinsmen redeemer with ten elders present. We can read the words he said in Ruth 4, but there is no reference to his making a vow to Ruth to marry her.

8 Therefore the kinsman said unto Boaz, Buy it for thee. So he drew off his shoe.
9 And Boaz said unto the elders, and unto all the people, Ye are witnesses this day, that I have bought all that was Elimelech's, and all that was Chilion's and Mahlon's, of the hand of Naomi.
10 Moreover Ruth the Moabitess, the wife of Mahlon, have I purchased to be my wife, to raise up the name of the dead upon his inheritance, that the name of the dead be not cut off from among his brethren, and from the gate of his place: ye are witnesses this day.
11 And all the people that were in the gate, and the elders, said, We are witnesses. The Lord make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build the house of Israel: and do thou worthily in Ephratah, and be famous in Bethlehem:

IMHO, unless the couple has made a vow to each other and to God, they are only (for lack of a better term) shacking up.

Have to swear a vow to be married? Where do you get that? Jesus said 'Swear not at all.' So are Quakers and Amish not married? And what about Adam and Eve and most Jewish couples up through the first century? Were they not married?

 

[presidente]

In the case of heat of the moment sex, the couple should repent and ask God for forgiveness and follow God from there. I am not qualified to handle the usual exceptions.

It's good if a post on this topic makes it clear we are talking about unmarried couples.

Otherwise, there is no reason to be so hard on the 'heat of the moment' scenario.

 

[Cedrick]

getting married is about bringing two families together,the family of the husband and the family of the wife.This two parties of the family need to agree that their children are going to get married.

 

[Depleted]

getting married is about bringing two families together,the family of the husband and the family of the wife.This two parties of the family need to agree that their children are going to get married.

Cultural curiosity: what happens to orphans? Can they not marry? And what happens to older couples whose parents have died? They can't get married either? And what happens when one person in a large family says No?

Man! Your culture sounds tough! Hubby and I have been married for decades. I'm so glad we didn't bring two families together. No one would have ever gotten married. Neither family can get along with each other. I can't imagine that extending out to all his brothers and sisters, their spouses, their kids, and then extending out to all my brothers and sister, and their spouses, and their kids. We'd need a village to live in just for our family and lots of fences. lol

 

[Ariel82]

Lots of great responses.

What must a couple do to be married in the eyes of God?

Give their bodies and lives in the service and love of the other person. The husband must be willing to die for his wife and seek to do God's will. The wife must be willing to be supportive and respectful of her husband's leading.

 

[Ariel82]

Mark 10:9: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Ephesians 5:25-33: “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

 

[Dagallen]

It depends if we talking about a heavenly marriage blessed by God or if talking about a earthly marriage blessed by man.

 

[Bladerunner]

In the case you described above I think the young couple is married in the eyes of God. They had been in sin, but eventually they did the right thing: got married first, then got baptized.

What did baptized have to do with it?

 

[Bladerunner]

The Bible speaks of fathers giving in marriage, but it never says that preachers, elders, or even Levitical priests have authority to declare people married.

You are right here. There are rules to a Jewish wedding...these same rules Jesus is following to make the Church his Bride.