Woman who left her husband - what is her solution?
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I wish it were clear. But it's not
when you take Jesus instructing HIS disciples alongside Paul's letter, you come up with one thing
The two are one
And Paul, when he says, if the unbeliever wants to leave, let him/her, he ends by saying how do you know if you will save your spouse. But he isn't clear that the remaining and believing spouse in this situation) is free to marry
when you take Jesus instructing HIS disciples alongside Paul's letter, you come up with one thing
The two are one
And Paul, when he says, if the unbeliever wants to leave, let him/her, he ends by saying how do you know if you will save your spouse. But he isn't clear that the remaining and believing spouse in this situation) is free to marry
It is a heart and treasure issue because if a believer is married to an unbeliever, there will be difficulties and strain. But one thing that stands out is that since the two are one, and the believing spouse sanctifies the unbelieving spouse, what is more important?
temporal peace or eternal hooe
Not just for the believing spouse, but for his/her unbelieving spouse
temporal peace or eternal hooe
Not just for the believing spouse, but for his/her unbelieving spouse
I know Paul said the goal is to be at peace with all men in this world But really, while the unbelieving spouse lives at peace with the believing spouse, wouldn't the believing spouse be praying for a different type of peace? That is that the unbeliever may become a believer
but to out them away because they are an unbeliever is not good if they are at peace with one another in this temporal life
but to out them away because they are an unbeliever is not good if they are at peace with one another in this temporal life
I don't know of I'm explaining it clear enough
the believer has other concerns. Their focus is on eternal life and peace for their unbelieving spouse
the unbelieving spouse's focus is temporal. This is not to say that the believer wants turmoil in this world, but an unbeliever is content and so is the believer if there is peace in the home . But the believer is still looking for another higher peace that the unbeliever is not even aware is needed
so the believing spouse should quietly pray for their unbelieving spouse
not divorce
not put them away
the believer has other concerns. Their focus is on eternal life and peace for their unbelieving spouse
the unbelieving spouse's focus is temporal. This is not to say that the believer wants turmoil in this world, but an unbeliever is content and so is the believer if there is peace in the home . But the believer is still looking for another higher peace that the unbeliever is not even aware is needed
so the believing spouse should quietly pray for their unbelieving spouse
not divorce
not put them away
I also don't think that GOD makes mistakes. If HE called one of the spouses to faith, i believe that if the believer waits on the LORD and prays for her/his unbelieving spouse, quietly and waits, I believe GOD will bless the believer and the unbeliever so that the unbeliever will eventually, in GOD's time and the believers patience, turn that unbelievers heart to repentence and the knowledge of CHRIST
I haven't left my husband. But I've wanted to And I've seen that for me it would be more peaceful But I knew in my heart that I couldn't that somehow it wasn't right because I understood that he was sanctified because of me as a believer
however, I haven't patiently waited in the LORD either. I've been very vocal about what I want and need from him instead of just quietly praying that GOD do HIS WORK where I am failing
when I am weak than I am strong
please pray for my marriage that GOD will work in my marriage and work in me that I leave it to GOD and wait on HIM
thank you
however, I haven't patiently waited in the LORD either. I've been very vocal about what I want and need from him instead of just quietly praying that GOD do HIS WORK where I am failing
when I am weak than I am strong
please pray for my marriage that GOD will work in my marriage and work in me that I leave it to GOD and wait on HIM
thank you
Paul was never married and He said it was best for Christians if they could, to not get married because they could devote their time and lives to serving God. But if any of them could not live a celebate life then they should marry. Paul know that being able to live a life without being married was not an ability God would grant to all..
Paul states::
1 Corinthians 7 KJV
[SUP]12 [/SUP]But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
[SUP]13 [/SUP]And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
[SUP]14 [/SUP]For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
[SUP]15 [/SUP]But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
The Bondage Paul is talking about here is the bondage of marriage.. For a woman and a husband are bound together by marriage.. If they are no longer in bondage if the unbeliever decides to depart then they are free to remarry a believer..
So now we come to divorce because of adultery..
Jesus said::
Matthew 5: KJV
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Note the exception ""Save for the cause of fornication"" So if a man put away his wife causeth her to comit adultry has an exception put in there Save for the cause of fornication is the same as saying except in the case of fornication which is saying any sexual relations outside of their marriage. So fornication is grounds for divorce.. So n
Jesus makes it even clearer in::
Matthew 19 KJV
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
So the exception is when the marriage partner has committed fornication which is sex outside of the bounds of Marriage.. So a man can divorce his wife ( and a wife her husband) if their partner has been unfaithful and they can marry another and their new marriage is blessed by god and they are not therefore guilty of adultery.. It is clear that the act of fornication by one partner in a marriage is grounds for Biblcialy legal divorce..
Paul states::
1 Corinthians 7 KJV
[SUP]12 [/SUP]But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
[SUP]13 [/SUP]And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
[SUP]14 [/SUP]For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
[SUP]15 [/SUP]But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
The Bondage Paul is talking about here is the bondage of marriage.. For a woman and a husband are bound together by marriage.. If they are no longer in bondage if the unbeliever decides to depart then they are free to remarry a believer..
So now we come to divorce because of adultery..
Jesus said::
Matthew 5: KJV
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Note the exception ""Save for the cause of fornication"" So if a man put away his wife causeth her to comit adultry has an exception put in there Save for the cause of fornication is the same as saying except in the case of fornication which is saying any sexual relations outside of their marriage. So fornication is grounds for divorce.. So n
Jesus makes it even clearer in::
Matthew 19 KJV
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
So the exception is when the marriage partner has committed fornication which is sex outside of the bounds of Marriage.. So a man can divorce his wife ( and a wife her husband) if their partner has been unfaithful and they can marry another and their new marriage is blessed by god and they are not therefore guilty of adultery.. It is clear that the act of fornication by one partner in a marriage is grounds for Biblcialy legal divorce..
Hi Trofimus,
My comments are in blue so that I was sure to answer all your questions.
My comments are in blue so that I was sure to answer all your questions.
OK, let us suppose it is said both to women and men, even though it would not fit too much into patriarchal society of those days. But lets take it so.
Now... Two are married. Some situations can happen:
1) One is unfaithful.
a) they wait for a proper divorce and then they start relationships with somebody else
- the one who was faithful can now freely remarry
- what about the one who was not faithful, he/she must stay single for the rest of the life?
They're a lost cause. j/k
The one who is unfaithful would have been stoned in the OT for adultery. But today we don't kill the offender anymore.
As I think this through, the offender is either not a Christian or is a Christian in sin. So marriage counseling would be appropriate.
If the person is a believer, he's to be treated as Matthew 18 states. If after going through the process of correction he does not repent, he's to be removed from the congregation for the hope of repentance and restoration. Love is always the goal.
The offended needs to forgive, but he/she is free to remarry.
But I believe that many of us don't give God the time it takes for Him to work in the heart of the offender and want to scurry along and move on with life. For some, it's a once-chance type thing and you mess up once and your out.
But others do have a heart of love, repentance and restoration. This all can take time, prayer and waiting on the Lord. I've seen a testimony where the husband cheated on the wife and he was a non believer. She waited a couple of years and prayed for her marriage to be restored. Her husband got saved and they began dating and eventually remarried. God is amazing!
Other times, it doesn't work out and the offender doesn't change.
b) they do not wait for a proper divorce and start relationships with somebody else immediately
- does that mean that both of them are unfaithful now and therefore cannot marry anybody to the end of their lifes?
Good question!
I think we have to answer this as to how would believers need to work this through since the instructions are written for those who will obey and that would apply to God's children. Of course, again, marriage counseling would be good. They both need to forgive the other and repent. If they don't, the Matthew 18 principle needs to be applied where they are removed from fellowship in hopes of repentance and restoration. The hope is they would repent and rekindle the love they have for one another.
2. Nobody was unfaithful, they just want to leave for some less serious reasons like "we do not agree with each other"
a) they will divorce and stay single
- can they return to their own marriage again?
Sure, why not? That's the whole purpose....restoring marriages.
b) they will divorce and one finds a new partner
- now can the one who was slower get married with somebody else?
Well again, we're looking to restore the love they had for one another. You can come up with all types of scenarios, I have no doubt of that.
But what's really going on here?
Believers are not holding the marriage covenant as sacred ..... something that needs to be held up as such.
The marriage is the example of God's relationship with His bride, here on earth. I'm afraid we're not doing a very good job of it when we read that there are as many divorces in the church as in the world.
In Matthew 19 we read.....Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” They *said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her A certificate of divorce and send her away?” He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”
So we see Jesus takes them back to square one. The two become one flesh. How can you separate the one? God made the two one, how can we separate the union of the male and female who are one in God's sight?
God said that Moses allowed for divorce because they had hard hearts. In the New Covenant, we've been given new hearts, hearts of flesh instead of hearts of stone. The Lord's laws are now written on our hearts and on our minds.
How can we not forgive and how can we not repent of our sin. Within the body of Christ there should always be love, forgiveness and restoration......because we have a new heart, the heart of Jesus.
Now... Two are married. Some situations can happen:
1) One is unfaithful.
a) they wait for a proper divorce and then they start relationships with somebody else
- the one who was faithful can now freely remarry
- what about the one who was not faithful, he/she must stay single for the rest of the life?
They're a lost cause. j/k
The one who is unfaithful would have been stoned in the OT for adultery. But today we don't kill the offender anymore.
As I think this through, the offender is either not a Christian or is a Christian in sin. So marriage counseling would be appropriate.
If the person is a believer, he's to be treated as Matthew 18 states. If after going through the process of correction he does not repent, he's to be removed from the congregation for the hope of repentance and restoration. Love is always the goal.
The offended needs to forgive, but he/she is free to remarry.
But I believe that many of us don't give God the time it takes for Him to work in the heart of the offender and want to scurry along and move on with life. For some, it's a once-chance type thing and you mess up once and your out.
But others do have a heart of love, repentance and restoration. This all can take time, prayer and waiting on the Lord. I've seen a testimony where the husband cheated on the wife and he was a non believer. She waited a couple of years and prayed for her marriage to be restored. Her husband got saved and they began dating and eventually remarried. God is amazing!
Other times, it doesn't work out and the offender doesn't change.
b) they do not wait for a proper divorce and start relationships with somebody else immediately
- does that mean that both of them are unfaithful now and therefore cannot marry anybody to the end of their lifes?
Good question!
I think we have to answer this as to how would believers need to work this through since the instructions are written for those who will obey and that would apply to God's children. Of course, again, marriage counseling would be good. They both need to forgive the other and repent. If they don't, the Matthew 18 principle needs to be applied where they are removed from fellowship in hopes of repentance and restoration. The hope is they would repent and rekindle the love they have for one another.
2. Nobody was unfaithful, they just want to leave for some less serious reasons like "we do not agree with each other"
a) they will divorce and stay single
- can they return to their own marriage again?
Sure, why not? That's the whole purpose....restoring marriages.
b) they will divorce and one finds a new partner
- now can the one who was slower get married with somebody else?
Well again, we're looking to restore the love they had for one another. You can come up with all types of scenarios, I have no doubt of that.
But what's really going on here?
Believers are not holding the marriage covenant as sacred ..... something that needs to be held up as such.
The marriage is the example of God's relationship with His bride, here on earth. I'm afraid we're not doing a very good job of it when we read that there are as many divorces in the church as in the world.
In Matthew 19 we read.....Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” They *said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her A certificate of divorce and send her away?” He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”The disciples *said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.” But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.”
So we see Jesus takes them back to square one. The two become one flesh. How can you separate the one? God made the two one, how can we separate the union of the male and female who are one in God's sight?
God said that Moses allowed for divorce because they had hard hearts. In the New Covenant, we've been given new hearts, hearts of flesh instead of hearts of stone. The Lord's laws are now written on our hearts and on our minds.
How can we not forgive and how can we not repent of our sin. Within the body of Christ there should always be love, forgiveness and restoration......because we have a new heart, the heart of Jesus.
A
I read a really good book about marriage you can get online for free...
https://www.youandmeforever.org
For anyone interested.
https://www.youandmeforever.org
For anyone interested.
Yes.
See my post no. 115
This is based on Catholic doctrine.
I could also add that, as of last year, a remarried couple CAN be allowed to receive communion and be a part of the liturgical community.
This is due to a decree of the Pope in a document called "Amoris Letizia".
This constitutes a change in Catholic doctrine because a divorced and remarried person was not allowed to receive communion until now.
See my post no. 115
This is based on Catholic doctrine.
I could also add that, as of last year, a remarried couple CAN be allowed to receive communion and be a part of the liturgical community.
This is due to a decree of the Pope in a document called "Amoris Letizia".
This constitutes a change in Catholic doctrine because a divorced and remarried person was not allowed to receive communion until now.
I was a virgin and dating a woman who had been married twice before. I wasn't sure about how far to let the relationship progress. I had always hoped to marry a virgin or a widow so I would not have to deal with these verses.
I prayed about it and got the impression that it is better to err on the side of mercy than judgment. We have been married for 17 years now.
I prayed about it and got the impression that it is better to err on the side of mercy than judgment. We have been married for 17 years now.