Dating a non-christian

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Ryguy86

Guest
#1
#1
Hey everyone,

I am curious as to what people here have to say about this issue... Now, I know the Bible states somewhere that you are not to be unequally yoked? Does anyone have a reference to that for me?

Here's the situation:
I dated this one girl for like 2 1/2 years and broke up with her 6 months ago just until I got my life back on track etc. in that time though, I got saved. Now... I still love her more than anything and she still loves me. So am I supposed to not date her now? She is not a christian... She respects that I am now a Christian, says she will go to church with me if I want... but that does not make her a Christian so I am a bit confused as to what to do. If you had asked me a month ago, I would have said that I would marry her in a heartbeat.. but now that I am a christian its really hard for me to say that I cannot be with her. Any advice...?

( I know that I need to be praying for her and I am, but just curious what you would do in this situation)
~~Ryan
 
C

carpetmanswife

Guest
#2
#2
2 corinthians 6:14 is the scripture u r talking about.
 
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SamIam

Guest
#3
#3
Thats a tough situation you know. If it were me, no i wouldnt date her. Because now that your a christian your life is not what it used to be, Will she understand that, will she accept it.... those are things i would ask myself.
 
G

Grimaldus

Banned
#4
Mar 26, 2009
249
0
0
#4
Ryguy86 said:
Hey everyone,

I am curious as to what people here have to say about this issue... Now, I know the Bible states somewhere that you are not to be unequally yoked? Does anyone have a reference to that for me?

Here's the situation:
I dated this one girl for like 2 1/2 years and broke up with her 6 months ago just until I got my life back on track etc. in that time though, I got saved. Now... I still love her more than anything and she still loves me. So am I supposed to not date her now? She is not a christian... She respects that I am now a Christian, says she will go to church with me if I want... but that does not make her a Christian so I am a bit confused as to what to do. If you had asked me a month ago, I would have said that I would marry her in a heartbeat.. but now that I am a christian its really hard for me to say that I cannot be with her. Any advice...?

( I know that I need to be praying for her and I am, but just curious what you would do in this situation)
~~Ryan
Click to expand...
Alright, I would realy like to point out that she waited for you to come back to her after YOU broke up with her, putting her dating life on hold, while you became and christian. She then was OK with that and even agrees to go to church with you.

Sounds incredibly selfish to me.
 
electricbluesman

electricbluesman

Member
#5
Feb 1, 2007
44
1
8
16
#5
Sounds to me like a good opportunity. Since she's willing to go to church with you and supports your new life, maybe she is open to it also. Maybe you can help lead her to Christ. Then your question would be moot.
 
R

Ryguy86

Guest
#6
#6
Grimaldus said:
Alright, I would realy like to point out that she waited for you to come back to her after YOU broke up with her, putting her dating life on hold, while you became and christian. She then was OK with that and even agrees to go to church with you.

Sounds incredibly selfish to me.
Click to expand...
It sounds like I am being selfish? Hardly... I felt like taking a break to fix my own life was for her benefit. I didn't want to drag her through my own dirt, if you know what I mean... If you consider that selfish, then you have the wrong impression of me.
 
G

Grimaldus

Banned
#8
Mar 26, 2009
249
0
0
#8
Ryguy86 said:
It sounds like I am being selfish? Hardly... I felt like taking a break to fix my own life was for her benefit. I didn't want to drag her through my own dirt, if you know what I mean... If you consider that selfish, then you have the wrong impression of me.
Click to expand...
Sorry, I misunderstood
 
R

Ryguy86

Guest
#9
#9
SamIam said:
Thats a tough situation you know. If it were me, no i wouldnt date her. Because now that your a christian your life is not what it used to be, Will she understand that, will she accept it.... those are things i would ask myself.
Click to expand...
I think thats a really good point... My life will not be the same and I'm not sure she realizes the implications of that. I will admit although I am now ashamed of it, but we did sleep together on a regular basis and so I guess my worry is that she might THINK she is okay with it now, but realize later on that its not what she signed up for, type of deal. In the long run if we had ever gotten married, I would assume we would want different things for our children if our beliefs were not the same... So I guess in my heart I know I can't date her but its easier said then done... I've had people tell me that she may get saved eventually, or maybe God has someone better for me in store, but that is hard to believe!
 
S

SamIam

Guest
#10
#10
Ryguy86 said:
I think thats a really good point... My life will not be the same and I'm not sure she realizes the implications of that. I will admit although I am now ashamed of it, but we did sleep together on a regular basis and so I guess my worry is that she might THINK she is okay with it now, but realize later on that its not what she signed up for, type of deal. In the long run if we had ever gotten married, I would assume we would want different things for our children if our beliefs were not the same... So I guess in my heart I know I can't date her but its easier said then done... I've had people tell me that she may get saved eventually, or maybe God has someone better for me in store, but that is hard to believe!
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Thats exactly what i was talking about when i said will she be able to accept it. Especially with non-believers its hard to get them to understand why sex isnt okay before marriage, and that in itself could cause arguments in the relationship, i know you cant see it right now because your in the middle of the situation, but you never know what god might bring along for you. This girl may see your life has drastically changed and want to have the same thing you do. You never know what god will do in your life!
 
MahogonySnail

MahogonySnail

Banned
#11
Jan 8, 2009
7,576
23
0
#11
There are morally decent non-christians. But spiritually.. yeah... as a rule of thumb best not to date non-christian. Even though you can lead them to Christ, if they are open. Still that leading to Christ is best handled by people of the same sex and who you aren't emotionally involved with (as in a relationship). Simply because God is often a strong support in relationships and if the Christian bf or gf were also strong support in God that would be a bit of a conflict of interest and could lead to messy and heartaching situations.
 
D

doubleedge

Guest
#12
#12
Everything is OK Ryguy86!!! Marry the woman U love!!!
1 Corinthians 7 says:
"12: To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13: And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14: For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. *15: But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."
 
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doubleedge

Guest
#13
#13
what God joins together, NO man can set apart!!! If U feel that she is the woman U want to spend the rest of Ur natural life with... go for it!!!
 
M

MaggieMye

Guest
#14
#14
Be her friend. Take her to church. LET HER SEE how your RELATIONSHIP with Jesus has changed YOUR character and your LOVE for Jesus...because He first loved YOU.
Setting an example is KEY to winning her to the Lord.
But Beware: you must remain ONLY FRIENDS. If you were having sex before, it's forbidden by God's Word. Being more than friends would put temptations on you that you most likely can't handle.
And you simply CANNOT marry her unless she is born again and YOU SEE THE FRUIT of her walk with Christ.
Maggie
 
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doubleedge

Guest
#15
#15
It depends on U & where God wants U to be... whether or not U obey Him.
"It is better to marry than to burn" (1 Corinthians 7:8,9)!

Its good to settle down early in life rather than give rise to temptations. It is NOT good that man should be alone (Genesis 2:18)! There are plenty of verses that support marriage as well as there are verses that restrict it. It depends on Ur situation.
 
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chelsers

Guest
#16
#16
MaggieMye said:
Be her friend. Take her to church. LET HER SEE how your RELATIONSHIP with Jesus has changed YOUR character and your LOVE for Jesus...because He first loved YOU.
Setting an example is KEY to winning her to the Lord.
But Beware: you must remain ONLY FRIENDS. If you were having sex before, it's forbidden by God's Word. Being more than friends would put temptations on you that you most likely can't handle.
And you simply CANNOT marry her unless she is born again and YOU SEE THE FRUIT of her walk with Christ.
Maggie
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I echo this.
 
B

Baptistrw

Guest
#17
#17
doubleedge said:
Everything is OK Ryguy86!!! Marry the woman U love!!!
1 Corinthians 7 says:
"12: To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13: And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14: For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. *15: But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."
Click to expand...
You really need to read your Bible and quit giving unGodly counsel.
 
W

watchmen

Banned
#18
Apr 23, 2009
2,253
5
0
#18
Ryguy86 said:
Hey everyone,

I am curious as to what people here have to say about this issue... Now, I know the Bible states somewhere that you are not to be unequally yoked? Does anyone have a reference to that for me?

Here's the situation:
I dated this one girl for like 2 1/2 years and broke up with her 6 months ago just until I got my life back on track etc. in that time though, I got saved. Now... I still love her more than anything and she still loves me. So am I supposed to not date her now? She is not a christian... She respects that I am now a Christian, says she will go to church with me if I want... but that does not make her a Christian so I am a bit confused as to what to do. If you had asked me a month ago, I would have said that I would marry her in a heartbeat.. but now that I am a christian its really hard for me to say that I cannot be with her. Any advice...?

( I know that I need to be praying for her and I am, but just curious what you would do in this situation)
~~Ryan
Click to expand...
Grimaldus said:
Alright, I would realy like to point out that she waited for you to come back to her after YOU broke up with her, putting her dating life on hold, while you became and christian. She then was OK with that and even agrees to go to church with you.

Sounds incredibly selfish to me.
Click to expand...
Pay no attention to post such as these.
 
W

watchmen

Banned
#19
Apr 23, 2009
2,253
5
0
#19
doubleedge said:
Everything is OK Ryguy86!!! Marry the woman U love!!!
1 Corinthians 7 says:
"12: To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13: And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14: For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. *15: But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace."
Click to expand...
Pay no attention to this post either. This verse is referring to people who were already married when they became a Christian. You are not to divorce your unbelieving spouse when you get married, but if they decide to leave you , you are free from the law of marriage and able to remarry. doubleedged clearly misunderstood the verse.
 
C

chelsers

Guest
#20
#20
watchmen said:
Pay no attention to this post either. This verse is referring to people who were already married when they became a Christian. You are not to divorce your unbelieving spouse when you get married, but if they decide to leave you , you are free from the law of marriage and able to remarry. doubleedged clearly misunderstood the verse.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
 
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